Breakups can be hard on all of us, they can shake our sense of self in ways we don't expect. For men, the emotional impact is not something that's often spoken about. They’re taught to suck it up and get on with it. 

In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with  Michael Wilson, a Research Fellow focused on men’s mental health and suicide prevention to talk about why men often struggle silently during breakups and how society’s ideas about masculinity shape the way they cope.

We explore how shame, identity loss and isolation can build after a relationship ends, and why many men do not seek help until they reach a crisis point. There is another way to move through it. Understanding, connection and emotional honesty can help men rebuild their sense of self with more clarity and confidence.

In this conversation, we talk about

• Why breakups can shake men’s identity

• How conditioning around masculinity affects emotional expression

• The role shame plays in silence

• What men wish they could say but feel they cannot

• How to support men without jumping into solutions

• Ways to rebuild confidence after a relationship ends

If you are working through a breakup or navigating a season of change, you do not have to do it alone.

Connect with Michael Wilson: 

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-wilson-4b2090164/ 

Michael Wilson is a Research Fellow focused on men’s mental health and suicide prevention, based with Orygen at the University of Melbourne.

Since 2018, Michael has published and presented research both nationally and internationally across a range of subjects, including healthy masculinities and mental health in young men, improving training for mental health practitioners around engaging and responding to help-seeking men, and understanding risk and protective factors associated with suicidal thoughts and behaviours in men.

His research currently focuses on men's mental health and suicide risk in the context of intimate partner relationship breakdown.

Resources: 

• Main paper: https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2026-40673-001.html 
• Other research: https://scholar.google.com.au/citations?hl=en&user=avSkawsAAAAJ&view_op=list_works&authuser=1&sortby=pubdate 
• Mental Health Academy course on understanding men's suicide risk post breakup: https://www.mentalhealthacademy.com.au/catalogue/courses/breaking-up-breaking-down-understanding-and-addressing-mens-suicide-risk-in-the-context-of-intimate-relationship-breakdown

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