Too Smart For This

almost every episode of Too Smart For This returns to the theme of external validation. but today’s perspective shift helps us interrogate our goals so we can be less skeptical of them and more in tune with ourselves. if your current life missions are starting to feel a little less resonant, this episode will give you the tools to help clarify what really makes you tick.EPISODE NOTESQuote:"I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free" - Georgia O'KeeffePrevious episodes about perfectionism:- He broke up with me for being too much: - How to deal with people who try to make you feel small: LINKS:Reformation Low Rise JeansShop Too CollectivePreorder the Too Smart For This Guided Journal This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

when you’re being pulled in a million different directions, you need systems for managing life’s curveballs.in this episode, I dive into the frameworks I use to manage my time, energy, and emotions in the insane life I live! this was highly requested, so I hope you enjoy!Shop the Too Chill RobeFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on InstagramFollow Alexis on TikTok This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

Over the last 10 chaotic days since we’ve launched the Too Chill robe and had our first community event in NYC, there’s been little room for relaxation or reflection. Personal issues big and small bubble into my inbox hourly, leaving my head spinning from the good and bad.While my reality looks like overgrown nails, frozen Trader Joe’s meals, and staring at a (brand new because mine broke the day of our launch party 🙃) computer screen flush with asks from school and work, I still feel an inner sense of peace. This is shocking to me, Little Miss Frantic™️, who has won the award for Most Dramatic in multiple camp, school AND work settings.I shared in a few episodes back that adjusting back to the second year of my MBA hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be, with new and old interpersonal dynamics threatening my carefully crafted routines. As I’ve actively stepped into the role of ~entrepreneur~ by joining the Wharton startup accelerator and worked on launching our third Too Collective product, new commitments and sacrifices have me meeting a new version of myself.And it’s uncomfortable. From learning to stand on business and not text an ex back to unexpected brand invoices or receiving difficult business feedback, I’ve been exercising my emotional regulation skills often, with one new insight being the secret weapon to staying afloat.Once the first few minutes of a setback have stung my soul and I might even feel some tears well up, two thoughts automatically sweep in to ease the pain: “everything happens to teach me something,” and “this is temporary.”The Everything Happens For A Reason self-soother has been a constant thanks to my grandmother’s constant repetition of the phrase, but I think I was always afraid to face the “this is temporary.” If everything is temporary, how would I feel stable?Ah ha! I’ve long tried to untangle where my perfectionism comes from and deduced it to some combination of trauma (duh) and my astrology, maybe(?). But it was only recently that I realized why I like the feeling of getting it right so much - it’s safe.I always wanted things to feel stable, but I erroneously extrapolated that that feeling would somehow be there forever if I got it right. The logic went: If I’m perfect, I’ll never have to deal with this uncomfortable emotion again, yay!!Bffr. Pain, sadness, disappointment, and envy are inevitable. Without them, we don’t get to feel pleasure, happiness, surprise, or contentment. These feelings - good and bad - are temporary, whereas the stability I was searching for in hoarding them is actually my own ability to face and conquer them.I think I’m really starting to get what they mean by “enjoy the journey.” Because things don’t have to be permanent to be perfect - or perfect at all, really.I hope this episode resonates with you. Love you longtime, and shop the latest Too Collective drop now.xxAlexisSubscribe to the Too Smart For This Substack: Shop Too Collective, use code PODCAST15 for 15% off: https://toocollective.com/Follow Too Collective on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/toocollecti...Follow Alexis on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/alexisbarbe...Follow Alexis on TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@alexisbarber_... This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

I’m the first woman in my family who has not had at least one child by my age.Yes, I’m only 25, but the culture I grew up in prioritized having a relationship and children above all else. When I decided to go to college out of state, move to New York City, start my own business, and even go to graduate school, I was the only person I knew who did anything of the sort. But every time I returned from the big city, the question would remain the same: “do you have a boyfriend?” It evolved when I got into a long-term relationship: “why don’t you get married? You need to have kids soon or you’ll be an old mom.”Questions about my education, business, or extensive travels were rare. While I thought I was above it because I was building my own life, I subconsciously was programmed to cling to a partner, plan for marriage, and stay with that person at all costs.There had never been any room to question what I wanted out of a relationship, I simply was focused on being in one. So in my first year being single since I was 17 years old, I was not only struggling to figure out how to text a man back (my least favorite activity BY FAR) or get dressed for a date, but I also grappled with defining my standards for a partner.When I’d dish to my girlfriends (and therapist) about my boy problems, one simple question kept taking the breath out of me:“Well, what do you want?”What do you MEAN? I get to decide what I want and what works for me out of a relationship? It sounds silly to say, but I didn’t know I had the power to choose that. I thought relationships were fated, and that once you had a connection with someone you would focus on giving it your all. Many women operate the same way: focusing on the title instead of deciding exactly what they need, want, and deserve, and sticking to it.Through a few Raya dates, way-too-long situationships, and a lot of experiencing what I didn’t want, I settled on what I did want, and thought I’d found someone who wanted to be that for me.But when he abruptly ended things because “my standards were too high,” instead of lowering them, I started to feel a sense of pride for believing in myself and my dreams above all else. Now, the standards are just getting higher.I hope this episode reminds you that you’re never too much for the right person. It’s one of my favorites ever.xx,AlexisWatch this Episode on YouTubeSubscribe to the Too Smart For This Substack: Shop Too CollectiveFollow Too Collective on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/toocollecti...Follow Alexis on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/alexisbarbe...Follow Alexis on TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@alexisbarber_... This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

Nothing soothes a Type-A girl’s spirit more than a plan.A calendar invite for your girls’ dinner? Iconic. An organized grocery list with the exact right amount of ingredients? Sign me up.Back-to-school planning has always been my favorite time of year. I was, in fact, that child After months of unstructured hot days filled with the expectation of “FUN! AT! ALL! COSTS!” it feels refreshing to return to productivity.Something in the air (literally - we got crisper mornings and it was also a Virgo New Moon) shifted after Labor Day, and it feels like a real fresh start. In the season of Beyonce’s birthday, I’m taking inspiration from her to focus in on how I want to spend the rest of 2024. In this episode, we’re talking reorganizing, mindset shifts, and some favorites for the season.whether you’re into fall or mourning the summer, I hope this episode gets you excited for whatever aspirations you’re working towards.avorite products mentioned:Acupuncture matEdiktedFall back to school fit (low rise jeans and cardigan)Nutraful (hair growth)Kaai bagSubscribe to the Too Smart For This Substack:Shop Too Collective:https://toocollective.com/Follow Too Collective on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/toocollecti...Follow Alexis on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/alexisbarbe...Follow Alexis on TikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@alexisbarber_... This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I share four practices that were crucial in helping me recover from a pretty intense burnout. Burnout is more common than we realize, and it often feels like laziness when, in reality, it runs much deeper. I hope this episode helps you regain control and gives you the momentum to move towards a more balanced, and feel-good life.Subscribe to the Too Smart For This Substack: https://alexisbarber.substack.com/TOO COLLECTIVE X THEN I MET YOU LABOR DAY SALEDid somebody say free product? You can now get a FREE full-size Then I Met You Rich Cream (worth $60!) with any purchase of a Too Collective product, while supplies last!And for Labor Day, we’re offering 25% off our celebrity-approved bathrobes. These will go fast, so get yours and be prepped for the crisp days ahead this fall. Subscribe to our email list to get the code in your inbox!Shop Too Collective here This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

Last August, as I nervously navigated Penn's campus during orientation, every step was clouded by anxieties about my uncertain future.Would I make any friends who weren’t just dying for a LinkedIn connection? Would my rusty math skills lead me to fail out? Would my peers take me seriously as an “influencer?”Would my book deal get sold? Would my relationship last? Would my business survive?A year later, a new version of Alexis Barber prepares to step on campus with a multitude of failures (see: a C- in statistics?) and extremely (!!!) unexpected successes: Too Collective prepares to launch our third and fourth products this fall fresh off a major celebrity collaboration, I finished writing the Too Smart For This journal with Penguin Random House (huh???) while doing a little too much drinking socializing with the new friends I’m obsessed with, and I’m still somehow an influencer you all tune in to watch every day (thank you for that, fr!)And, I think you know what happened to my relationship. Business school is not for the weak!My mental health was entirely hanging on by a thread as I bounced between feeling heartbroken, overwhelmed, challenged, and hungover. Still, I now credit every experience with introducing me to a new version of myself, one that was lowkey there all along.I’m more myself, and that’s become my measure of confidence. In this week’s episode of Too Smart For This, I share the identity shift philosophy that I have applied as I’ve morphed into a more confident version of myself.Could I credit all of this to my frontal lobe developing? Sure, but I also think these tactics I’ve identified can help you make progress in any area of your life.Remember, if your “confidence” is coming from anywhere but within, it’s not real. I hope you love this episode. xx, Alexisp.s., if you do love the ep, leave a comment! we have that now! that’s so fun!SUBSCRIBE TO THE SUBSTACK: https://alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribeWatch this episode on YouTubeJOURNAL PROMPTS FOR THIS EPISODE:* How have I been showing up the past few weeks?* What identities would I want to be defined by?* How would I want people to describe me when I’m not in the room?* What environment do I have to create to show up as the person that I want to authentically become?THIS WEEK’S FAVORITES: Revolve Beauty is 20% off till Saturday, so it’s a perfect time to pick up some of my favorite wellness essentials like my Acupressure mat that I lay on every night to unwind, The Skinny Confidential Mouth Tape that’s helped me reduce mouth breathing, and my tried-and-true Arrae Bloat pills.My beauty go-tos like the magical SuperGoop Glow Screen and Charlotte Tilbury Lip Liners are also part of the sale so stock up!SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW:Also, like, welcome to my substack? To get even more juicy content each month, subscribe for $5 a month to get* a close-friends q&a ep where we talk ab the things I’m too afraid to say on TikTok* an extra episode featuring resources from our illustrious guests* a monthly “what I’m learning in b-school” round-up sharing the highlights of my $250k degree 🙃* my everlasting love and gratitudeSUBSCRIBE HERE: https://alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

In celebration of Black Business Month, we collaborated with Lydia from the Boardroom Beauty podcast to spotlight two incredible beauty founders. Join us for a chat with Desiree Verdejo of Hyper Skin and Karen Young of Oui the People as they share the realities of managing growing businesses that have expanded into international retailers like Sephora, while balancing healthy personal lives, motherhood and self-care beyond beauty and skincare.Check out the video version on YouTube here: Listen to the first part of this conversation over on the Boardroom Beauty podcast:Learn more about these founders and their businesses in the links below:Desiree Verdejo:https://www.instagram.com/desiree.ver...Hyper Skin:https://www.instagram.com/hyperskin/?...Karen Young:/ karen-young-2a166622Oui the People:/ ouithepeople This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

Let's sit and gossip for a sec. I have some updates to share regarding Wharton, my trip to Paris, and I've also been implementing some new productivity systems to help with my burnout.Listen to my conversation with Temi: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0w5G0IXOF2MPq3VyNhxvue?si=3db3868e9fd94700Too Collective:Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

I’m not super excited to admit that I feel burnt out, but here we are. In this episode, I’m sharing my real-time journey through burnout, from recognizing the signs to taking actionable steps to recover. Too Collective:Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

It can feel VERY unsettling when you've been gripping to a vision of yourself for so long, only to realize you no longer want that. In this episode, I’m exploring the concept that has helped me make some tough decisions—like knowing when it’s time to move on from dreams, jobs, people, situations, etc. Letting go can often feel shameful, uncertain, and scary, but I hope you leave this episode feeling empowered to transition toward a path that truly fulfills you.Too Collective:Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

I’m answering all your questions regarding family resentment, jobs you don’t want to be in, personal finance, dating, and more!4:47 - How do you not resent family for having opposite life choices?11:04 - How to get the most out of a job you settled for?13:59 - Can you share a hot take about being an entrepreneur or having a side hustle?17:11 - What’s something you used to believe in that you’ve changed your mind on?19:27 - Book recs for personal finance?24:04 - Dating life updates?27:12 - What are your current health routines?Too Collective:Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

As we wrap up the second quarter of the year I wanted to share all my biggest lessons, takeaways, and favorites from Q2. We’re talking clothing, food, body care, skin care, workouts, and other essentials that have me looking and feeling my best.Clothing favoritesAlo dressAgolde Parker shortsSkims wireless push-up braFood favoritesChompsNora Grab & Go SeaweedDolcezza Gelato (Mascarpone & Berries flavor)Body careL'occitane almond shower oilNaturium Bio-Lipid Restoring Body LotionSol de Janeiro Delícia Drench Body ButterSol de Janeiro Cheirosa 59 Perfume MistFor glowy skinSupergoop glow screenLoreal Lumi GlotionNars Light Reflecting FoundationBiossance squalane body oilPatrik Ta body oilSkin careBioderma Micellar WaterSummer Fridays serumSkinfix collagen perfecting serumClinique Moisture SurgeInnesfree sunscreenClarins Anti Pollution Face SunscreenOther healthy stuffSkinny Confidential Mint RollerSkinny Confidential Mouth TapeCreatine for muscle growthForm pilatesToo Collective:Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

Let’s talk about how to work with the natural ebb and flow of our energy as women. In this episode I share my experience working through days where motivation is hard to find and what I’ve learned about setting realistic priorities and understanding my minimum and maximum capacity. Too Collective:Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

This week, I'm chatting with my dear friend and fellow Wharton MBA student, Temi Butler. Temi walks us through her impressive career journey, from navigating the high-stakes world of finance at top institutions to landing on Forbes 30 Under 30, and ultimately pivoting from a stable job to embrace her creative passions.From big corporate to being a DJ, Temi has been there and done that, and she offers invaluable insights for anyone looking to build a highly ambitious and fulfilling professional path.She shares:The pressure to prove yourself, especially as a black womanHow she hustled her way into top institutions early in her careerAdvice for those looking to break into financeThe challenge of holding back her authentic self at workHer unique upbringing by parents who are dedicated artistsHow she landed on the Forbes 30 Under 30 listHer pivot from investment banking to working for a startupWhy she chose to pursue an MBAHer biggest takeaways from business schoolFollow Temi on Instagram: @temiautomaticToo Collective:Shop our Rare Beauty collabToo Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

Summer is meant to be ENJOYED! In this episode, I'm sharing my plans for making the most out of the next three months by being super intentional in key areas of my life such as: health, career, finances and relationships and more.SHOP OUR RARE BEAUTY COLLABTime stamps:2:22 Plot girl shit3:36 Confidence4:14 Pinterest boards4:54 Shopping for summer5:59 Setting an intention7:09 Setting goals9:24 Having fun requires planning11:41 Dating13:42 Morning and evening routines16:32 Booking health appointments17:54 Healthy habits for hot girl summer20:00 Beauty tips22:35 Being presentResources/MentionedBeam DreamForm PilatesTia Women's Health Clinic:Beam Street Dental:Athena Club Naturium Multi OilSupergoop Glow ScreenToo Collective:Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I'm celebrating a huge milestone in my business and want to share how I reached this place of feeling secure and at peace with following my dreams. I'll reflect on the setbacks I've faced over the years and share what I've learned about trusting your timing.If you've been feeling defeated, rejected, or behind, this episode is for you.Too Collective:Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, I'm recapping my first year at Wharton, sharing everything I wish I'd known before diving into my MBA journey, as well as my honest opinion on academics, social life, and the lessons I've learned during this time.I’m also answering your questions on time management, juggling relationships, how to prep for business school, and what's on my radar for year two.Timestamps:02:23 Academics09:16 My study routine12:00 My major13:53 Clubs16:34 Travel22:00 Social life24:41 Entrepreneurship27:38 Time management30:52 Average week in the life34:04 Plans for second year36:54 How to prep for grad school40:55 Product recommendationsToo Collective:Shop our Limited Edition Patches!Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, we’re getting real about the struggles I've been facing as an entrepreneur. And how despite being overqualified in many aspects I still don’t feel ready to do a lot of things in my business. We’re talking perfectionism, money, and how I’m planning to scale my business with the resources and insights I've gotten from being a Wharton MBA student.Too Collective:Shop our Limited Edition Patches!Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe

As we close off the first quarter of 2024, I’m recapping my biggest takeaways and must-have items in wellness, beauty, and fashion from the past three months.Timestamps:1:40 self-worth is the key to everything6:40 difference between capacity and capability8:49 not letting other people make you feel small12:17 wellness faves17:24 beauty faves20:45 fashion favesProducts mentionedWellness:Armra Colostrum https://amzn.to/3JbNkC1 Super gut prebiotic https://amzn.to/3vHNMVJ Owala water bottle https://amzn.to/3PNwPQu Skincare:Amazon sheet masks https://amzn.to/4cMOX75 Supergoop glow screen https://howl.me/clYvyj5brHO Summer Fridays cushion cream https://howl.me/clYvEXcQ3ToTopicals faded https://howl.me/clYvEX4sEnKHero Cosmetics patches: https://amzn.to/3vHPnuHBeauty:Westman Atelier Stick Foundation https://howl.me/clYvEXDwUBuNars liquid foundation https://howl.me/clYvEXUWo8TIt cosmetics dual-ended foundation and concealer brush https://howl.me/clYvEXRw1mzKosas concealer https://howl.me/clYvEYcjyMQGiorgio armani conceler https://howl.me/clYvEX9qbKyOle Henrikson lip peptide balm https://howl.me/clYvEXTK1vbSol de janeiro delicio body balm https://howl.me/clYvEXsOjkOClothing:Agolde low-rise baggy jeans https://howl.me/clYvEXtY0XESkims boyfriend pant https://bit.ly/4al2AbXSporty and rich sweat sets: https://www.sportyandrich.com/collections/setsBoys Lie sweat sets: https://boyslieofficial.com/collections/sweatsToo Collective:Shop our Limited Edition Patches!Too Collective WebsiteToo Collective Affirmation TextsFollow Too Collective on InstagramFollow Alexis on Social Media:InstagramTikTokYouTubeAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexisbarber.substack.com/subscribe