David & Sherie talk more about why a history of inequality or power imbalance can affect recovery now. How our ultimate goal is to find better balance so there's healthy reconciliation in the process. We explore why some women may feel so strongly about using what's happened to maintain control instead of seeking to really understand their partner struggling with addiction. Honesty is vital, as is knowing why what's happened has happened.
David and Sherie continue talking about betrayal trauma and the pendulum swing that can happen as we're doing our best to navigate the hurt that occurs with partner betrayal. We need to consider the reasons behind behavior and separate the person from the pattern, having grace for the reasons behind the behavior while also protecting ourself. Listen to learn more!
David and Sherie talk about betrayal trauma and the long-term effects, a request from a listener, and where this concept leads us. We talk about the effects but also consider the impact of how our beliefs and the tendency to swing to the other end of the pendulum when hurt can complicate things. The narrative we adopt really influences where healing and reconciliation goes. Listen to learn more about how we conceptualize this important issue, including being careful to respond well in order to really consider and heal the relationship.
David & Sherie now talk about 5 things that men need from their partners, or what tends to make men feel the most fulfilled in relationships. We talk about mens' needs including recreational companionship, sexual fulfillment, admiration, domestic support, and an attractive spouse. Listen as we go through each and break them down!
David & Sherie talk about 5 things that women need from their partners, or what tends to make women feel the most fulfilled in relationships. We talk about mens' needs in the next episode. These include things like affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support and family commitment.
David & Sherie talk about the challenge of having extreme beliefs about recovery and relationship frustrations, and how to avoid that. This includes misusing words like narcissism, abuse, boundaries, or safety. Using these words out of context to justify control or ever greater boundaries is not going to be helpful to either recovery, or relationships.
David & Sherie finish talking about addiction recovery and specifically how to be more focused doing recovery when struggling with ADHD or ADD, We then summarize so you have a simple, bigger picture perspective about how to do recovery if also struggling with ADHD. As a summary, these things are important: Incorporate treatment for both ADHD and addictionKeep recovery conversations shorter and more frequentUsing lists and visual aid or remindersClear structure with flexibilityGood medication managementAdapt mindfulness practices
David & Sherie continue talking about addiction recovery and specifically how to be more focused doing recovery when struggling with ADHD or ADD, What things will help, and what is different? Listen to learn more!
David & Sherie talk about addiction recovery and what is different and how to recover more effectively when struggling with ADHD or ADD, something we see a lot of in our offices. If you suspect you or your partner may struggle with this, these episodes will really be helpful!
Sherie does a body scan mindfulness meditation in this week's episode. Prepare to relax and listen to what she shares and we hope you enjoy it time and time again!
David & Sherie talk about FANOS, which is an acronym and a way for couples to check in daily and stay close and connected. It's especially helpful when overcoming addiction and creates accountability and honesty. It stands for Feelings, Affirmation, Needs, Ownership, and Sobriety or Spirituality. We go into detail on these and help you to know how to do it going forward.
David & Sherie talk about some very basic principles every couple should use, and can solve 95% of your relationship issues. From John Gottman, these skills include: 1. Express feelings using “I” statements2. Use a softened start up3. Stay Calm and Regulate Emotions4. Turn Towards and Make and Keep Bids for Connection5. Practice Repair Attempts6. Accept Influence
David & Sherie finish talking about desires and our role in changing desires to better match the life we want to live. We want to move from knowing a thing to wanting a thing to loving a thing, and we talk about the final steps to do this. Here are all the steps in the process and the bold ones are covered in this episode:Understand what virtue really isStrengthen Your Why & Define your PurposeGenuinely pursue loving virtue with energy, vigor, and effort!Create experiences of loving virtue in triggering situations through visualizingSee Others as Souls, Not ObjectsShift from Suppression or avoidance to Acceptance and SubstitutionExpect Struggles, But Keep GoingSpiritual Practices
David & Sherie continue talking about desires and our role in changing desires to better match the life we want to live. We want to move from knowing a thing to wanting a thing to loving a thing, and we talk about additional steps to do this. Here are the steps in the process and the bold ones are covered in this episode:Understand what virtue really isStrengthen Your Why & Define your PurposeGenuinely pursue loving virtue with energy, vigor, and effort!Create experiences of loving virtue in triggering situations through visualizingSee Others as Souls, Not ObjectsShift from Suppression or avoidance to Acceptance and SubstitutionExpect Struggles, But Keep GoingSpiritual Practices
David & Sherie continue talking about how our desires impact our sobriety and recovery and go into more detail about how this works and why it happens.
David & Sherie begin exploring the concept of desires and how our desires impact, possibly more than anything else, our recovery journey. Our motivation, or truest or deepest desires, significantly impact our behavior and why we might be "stuck" and continue to act our when we also don't want to have this addiction or these issues anymore.
David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and start with a really helpful exposure therapy exercise or visualization. We then finish talking about additional steps you can take to manage those intrusive thoughts even more.Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNnOvercoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk
David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and talk about different methods of helping overcome these thoughts, focusing on exposure therapy and what that means.Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNnOvercoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk
David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and talk about the 3 kinds of intrusive thoughts, common thought myths, and more about what we do about them. We referenced two books in the first episode:Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNnOvercoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk
David & Sherie begin talking about something everyone struggles with to some extent - what to do with our intrusive, unwanted thoughts! What they mean, why they're there, and what we can begin to do about them. This is the first episode in a series because there's so much good information. We reference two books in this episode:Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNnOvercoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk