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Hope for Spouses

Hope for Spouses

Author: Kim Pullen

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If you are suffering in the wake of your spouse's adultery or sexual addiction, you will find a supportive community here.

Hope for Spouses is a ministry focused on nurturing and growing in intimacy with God and a safe circle of others. As the betrayed, we chose not to be victims but to own our healing, recovery, and ability to thrive regardless of our spouse's choices.

Kim Pullen is the host of Hope for Spouses. Thriving in a 26-year marriage traumatized by adultery and a four-year separation, Kim shares hope and healing with spouses who feel isolated due to sexual sin in their relationship, but don't know how or where to begin their journey.

35 Episodes
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A Hope for Spouse’s viewer recently messaged us:“You talk about speaking the truth with love, and I’m really struggling with that. Every time I speak with my husband, which isn’t that often, all I want to do is scream at him and be mean because I’m so hurt over everything he’s doing.”The Apostle Paul could relate when he said: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15).If you feel ashamed because you can’t seem to control your emotions or your tongue in the presence of your addicted or unfaithful spouse, join us for this episode of the Hope for Spouse’s Lunchtime Live. Kim Pullen will talk about how she imperfectly got past feelings of hurt and betrayal so she could lovingly and respectfully talk to your unrepentant and unfaithful husband, an act that ultimately contributed to his repentance and their reconciliation and what the scriptures say about all of it.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
I was separated from my unfaithful husband for four lonely and painful years until he radically changed. God himself waited hundreds of years for his “bride” to repent of her unfaithfulness to Him.How long should you wait for your sexually addicted spouse to repent?In this episode of Lunchtime Live, Hope for Spouses’ founder Kim Pullen, shares why our addicted or unfaithful spouse has such a hard time changing, what healthy and unhealthy waiting looks like, factors you can evaluate in your own marriage to determine how long, if at all, you should wait, and what the scriptures say about all of it.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Since the discovery of your spouse’s sexual betrayal, do you feel like—despite what the Bible says—your mind and your life have become a raging storm, and peace feels as elusive as water in your hand?Maybe you feel blown and tossed by every wind of teaching about betrayal and addiction—books, counselors, support groups—with no rudder to steer you in a biblical direction.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen will share how you can take those every-present companions of confusion, anger, fear, or bitterness, use Scripture to banish them, and find biblical solutions to capture and retain the “peace that passes understanding” (Philippians 4:7) regardless of the choices your spouse makes.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
If you’ve read the Bible much, you’ve probably heard of the Martha vs. Mary confrontation in Luke 10. Martha chose fear, chaos, and control. Mary chose love, peace, and surrender.Following a spouse’s sexual betrayal, it is so easy to slip into a Martha mindset where fear reigns, and where we push, push, PUSH our spouse to get his act together. Sucked into the vortex of their sin and blinded by the chaos, we don’t see another way. But there is!In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about learning how we can choose biblical love, and how we can surrender to God’s plan for a marriage designed to glorify Him with security and a peace that passes understanding.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Did you know Newton’s Laws apply to our recovering from our spouse's sexual betrayal?Say what? How in the world do the foundational laws of physical mechanics (yes, the ones you learned in middle school) have anything do with recovering from a spouse’s infidelity or sexual addiction?You’d be amazed! That’s because these laws weren’t created by men, they were established by God and therefore, they transcend the physical.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen uses laymen’s terms—and the scriptures—to discuss how Newton’s Laws—#1- An object in motion stays in motion#2 - An object changes direction based on the mass and force applied to it#3 - For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction—actually apply to understanding addiction and codependency recovery.Make sure you tune in for this unusual but visually-dramatic representation. You’ll never look at yourself or your spouse the same again!________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforsposesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
In the wake of sexual betrayal, many spouses become enmeshed, tying their recovery to their unfaithful or addicted spouse’s recovery and locking themselves firmly in an insanity loop where they do the same thing over and over again wondering why things only get worse.They read tons of recovery books, try marriage counseling with a therapist or pastor, and attend support groups, workshops, or intensives, but their spouse doesn’t really change and they still feel trapped in a nightmare from which they can’t escape.If real healing feels elusive and just out of reach, it’s because you’re looking in the wrong place. Join Kim Pullen for this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live as she uses biblical resources to address the big question: Do you have what it takes to recover from sexual betrayal?________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
You’ve tried dozens of ways to get your spouse to see the light and turn away from their porn addiction or adulterous relationships. You’ve even used scripture to prove to yourself, your spouse, and others why you should be their number one helper in their recovery. (Genesis 2:20 anyone?)But nothing you do works. In fact, things only seem to get worse—your spouse is angrier, more defensive, and seems further away than ever.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen shows you how you can you help your unfaithful or sexually-addicted spouse repent of their sin and successfully navigate the long road of recovery, even if you’re separated.The answers may surprise you.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
When we rage, manipulate, obsess, lie, slander, or malign our spouse in the wake of their sexual betrayal, our tendency is to excuse our sin and turn the focus off ourselves and say, “What about them?!”Peter did it with Jesus in John 21. Adam did it when God asked him why he’d eaten the apple. Eve blamed the serpent. It’s so much easier to blame our spouse or try to fix them than it is to be honest about our own disobedience to God.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about how she turned the mirror of the scriptures on herself during her four-year separation and stumbled her way toward transformation. She also talks about how we can use betrayal as a catalyst for developing a dynamic, ever-growing intimacy with God.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our public Facebook Page at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesNeed a community of like-minded friends on their own journey of healing? Join our private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Why did your spouse commit adultery or get addicted to porn?If they admit it, they may blame you saying: “You’re not ______ enough (sexy, adventurous, thin, encouraging, nice, supportive, etc)!” In other words, THEIR sin is YOUR fault.They may say that they’ve fallen out of love with you, that they are just relieving themselves of stress, that all men cheat, or that one man can’t possibly be satisfied with one woman for his entire life.In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen unmasks these excuses (and more) and reveals the simple, singular reason spouses cheat on their partners. Kim will also explore what you as a Christian spouse can do to empower yourself to move from confusion, isolation, and bitterness to clarity, intimacy, and peace.________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our private Facebook Group at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspousesFor more information, go to https://hopeforspouses.com
Do you feel incapable of drawing a line in the sand?Are you afraid of the kickback from setting or maintaining boundaries?Do you feel powerless to create expectations of faithfulness and honesty and back them up with action?In this episode of the Hope for Spouses’ Lunchtime Live, Kim Pullen talks about the “insanity loop”, the relentless dance we just can’t seem to stop participating in with our unrepentant, addicted spouse.Kim will address the solution—viewing ourselves through the lens of the cross—so we can “step off the dance floor,” navigate our way through the jungle that is recovery, and find peace and security regardless of the choices our spouse makes.____________**UPDATEIt was pointed out to me that the Samaritan woman was neither wanton nor immoral.It is true that in those times the women were treated like furniture. And/or some of her husbands may have died.Women had no safety, security, or socio-economic status without being in the shelter or under the authority of a man. This is a very good article that actually suggests the Samaritan women was not a harlot, but barren, and that was the reason for her multiple marriages was that she had been put away for her inability to bear children.http://dustoffthebible.com/Blog-archive/2016/06/26/why-did-the-samaritan-woman-at-the-well-have-so-many-marriages/However, Douglas Jacoby makes a very good point in his podcast on the Samaritan Woman (https://www.douglasjacoby.com/samwommp3/). He points out how odd that Jesus would suddenly change the subject and ask the woman to bring her husband when they were just talking about Living Water (John 4:15). But, Jesus was making the point that the woman was looking for satisfaction and fulfillment in something physical and Jesus was pointing her to a spiritual fulfillment.In Jesus’ time, sons were so important to men such that a woman who could not bear children was considered useless and disposable. Thus, women sought fulfillment in husbands and ultimately bearing children. Further, if she was barren AND some of her husbands had died. She may have been considered cursed and no one would WANT to marry her. In other words, she had spent a lifetime looking for fulfillment and value in a culture that would never give it to her.Jesus, on the other hand, was showing her that she had placed her value in the wrong things—in men and the acceptable cultural standards of her time. Only HE could give her the true fulfillment she was seeking.What a profound truth this is for us as women in a relationship with an addicted spouse, especially in light of this topic we are discussing today! May we continue to look to Jesus for fulfillment and completion and not to created things (our husbands or ourselves) as Paul states in Romans 1:25).________________To get clarity on where your marriage is, where you want it to be, and what's blocking you from getting there, schedule a free breakthrough call with me to see if we can help you live a victorious life regardless of our spouse’s choices: https://hopeforspouses.com/applyYou can also watch future Lunchtime Lives in real time every Wednesday on our private Facebook Group at https://facebook.com/groups/hopeforspouses
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