Therapists' Take with Carrie and Josh

In this episode of Therapists' Take, we dive into the emotional turmoil faithful partners experience after infidelity, particularly the pervasive feeling of foolishness. We'll explore why so many partners blame themselves and break down the three most common ways this feeling manifests: "I feel foolish for letting it happen," "I feel foolish for letting it happen again," and "I feel foolish for staying." We'll also discuss how to navigate the uncertainty that follows betrayal and the journey toward regaining a sense of self. Join us as we unpack these complex emotions and offer insights to help faithful partners find healing and empowerment. _________________ Recommended Books for Faithful Partners Impacted by Infidelity: The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays - https://amzn.to/4dvY4sQ Mending a Shattered Heart by Stefanie Carnes - https://amzn.to/3Av8ryj Intimate Deception by Sheri Keffer - https://amzn.to/3M7lLeH _________________ Therapist Directories: CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) - Betrayal Trauma Informed Website: https://www.iitap.com/find-a-professional EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Website: https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/ IFS (Internal Family Systems) Website: https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners Somatic Experiencing Website: https://directory.traumahealing.org/ Neurofeedback Website: https://isnr.org/neurofeedback-directory Brainspotting Website: https://www.brainspotting.com/directory _________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) and certified sex addiction therapists (CSAT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website - www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include Instagram and Apple Podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _________________ Articles by Carrie & Josh - What Is Transitional Distrust - https://shorturl.at/gpuTZ - Introducing Reflection Aggression - https://shorturl.at/bpHPW - The 12 Types of Gaslighting - https://shorturl.at/dHb4Q _________________ Equipment Used & Other Amazon Links: Mic Stands - https://amzn.to/46o4So6 Rode Pod Mic - https://amzn.to/3Rsw5Sz Pyle Mixer Board - https://amzn.to/3ZsJU5g iRig Pre 2 - https://amzn.to/3ZpCPm9 _________________ As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

In this episode of the Therapists' Take Podcast, we are joined by Whitney Alexander, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR therapist and consultant, and founder of the Warren Alexander Group. Whitney brings a wealth of knowledge and experience in trauma therapy, particularly in addressing the complexities of PTSD. Today, we’ll explore the profound impact of Complex PTSD and delve into the feelings of brokenness that often accompany it. Join us for an insightful discussion on how to navigate the journey of healing from deep emotional wounds. ___________ Here some of the topics you'll hear discussed in this episode: What Is Complex PTSD The Concept of Mis-Attunement The Concept of Emotional Flashbacks "Being Seen" as It Relates to Complex PTSD "Brokenness" and the Impact on Self Guilt vs [Toxic] Shame Childhood Origins and the Power of Repair No One Wants a Sad Story Therapeutic Approaches and Building Your Team Practical Steps Toward Healing and Resiliency _________ Books: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker - https://amzn.to/3WEkoctHealing the Shame that Binds You - https://amzn.to/3Agxwgr What Happened to You by Bruce Perry & Oprah Winfrey - https://amzn.to/3WWFd3X What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo - https://amzn.to/3YFj8s6 The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk - https://amzn.to/4dFc2Iv —————- Learn More About Our Guest - https://warrenalexandergroup.com/our-staff Check our Link Tree for more great content - https://linktr.ee/familysolutionsok __________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com EMDR Therapist Directory - https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/ IFS Therapist Directory - https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners Somatic Experiencing - https://directory.traumahealing.org/ ________________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. ________________________ Equipment Used & Other Amazon Links: Mic Stands - https://amzn.to/46o4So6 Rode Pod Mic - https://amzn.to/3Rsw5Sz Pyle Mixer Board - https://amzn.to/3ZsJU5g iRig Pre 2 - https://amzn.to/3ZpCPm9 As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases. #ComplexPTSD #TraumaRecovery #MentalHealthPodcast

I think it is safe to say that the challenges parents face in the twenty-first century are far more complex than the challenges parents faced even one or two generations ago. What do we tend to blame? Technology! In reality, technology has always been the bane of parental existence. The world has always been going to hell in a hand basket. How many generations of parents can relate to that feeling when they stumble across their children’s magazines or comics books, music albums or playlists, movie interests or YouTube subscriptions. How many times have we sighed and rolled our eyes in that “hell in a hand basket” sort of way? I think we all can relate. But there is something different about the world today that just didn’t exist 30 years ago, or at least to the capacity that it does today. That difference is how digital our world has become. So, although parents have always battled the evolution of tech, the challenges parents face today due the rapid evolution and vast presence of tech is unparalleled to generations before. In this episode of Therapists’ Take, Carrie and Josh are going to talk about the real parental challenges of raising children in a digital world. This episode will follow the following format: - Why are parents concerned about the advancements of tech? Why does this characterize parents for generations? - What’s the differences between digital natives and digital immigrants? Why does it matter? - What are unhelpful responses? The problem with tech-shaming. - What are optimal responses? The power of relationships and healthy attachments. ________________________ Books: Closer Together Further Apart: The Effect of Technology and the Internet on Parenting, Work, and Relationships by Robert Weiss & Jennifer P. Schneider - https://amzn.to/3yeDyxd The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World by Adam Gazzaley and Larry D. Rosen - https://amzn.to/3Ylh2NV Video Games and Your Kids: How Parents Stay in Control by Hilarie Cash and Kim McDaniel - https://amzn.to/4bWlRjL ________________________ YouTube by RecoveryTV: Is Tech Ruining Society and Relationships with/ Dr. Rob Weiss - https://youtu.be/W2Z48giYxR0?si=B5iLYtFid5tQYbcI Parenting in a P*rnified Culture w/ Diana Giles - https://youtu.be/OqKED5SdGD4?si=Lh5ipOnj8GPCwzYo 5 Ways to Protect Children from Online P*** w/ Diana Giles - https://youtu.be/xXBb0bvY2fE?si=ETwh30V5jevU4UCB ________________________ Websites Sensible Cyber Parenting - https://sensiblecyberparenting.com Culture Reframed - https://culturereframed.org ________________________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com ________________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok ______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Everybody has heard of sexual infidelity, but what is financial infidelity? If fidelity is the “quality or state of being faithful,” according to Merriam-Webster.com, then “infidelity” would be the opposite of that, which might be why “unfaithful” has become synonymous with sexual infidelity. So, we can safely assume that financial infidelity is some kind of egregious relational violation involving the family finances. Debra Kaplan, in her book “For Love and Money” defines it as, “…the keeping of financial secrets in an intimate partnership.” In this episode of Therapists’ Take podcast, Carrie and Josh are going to discuss the concept of financial infidelity. The structure of this episode will go as follows: - What Are the Variations of Financial Infidelity? - Are There Any Links to Sexual Infidelity? - What Are Red Flags? - Any Preventative Measures? Thanks for tuning in to this episode. As always please check out the resources linked in the below. ___________________ Books by Debra Kaplan: For Love and Money: Exploring Sexual & Financial Betrayal in Relationships - https://amzn.to/3y6MWD8 Coupleship Inc.: From Financial Conflict to Financial Intimacy- https://amzn.to/3LwgFs8 Battle of the Titans: Battling the Forces of Sex, Money, and Power in Relationships - https://amzn.to/4d5ujhK _____________________ Resources: Debra Kaplan's Website - https://debrakaplancounseling.com/ Family Solutions Counseling Website - https://www.familysolutionsok.com Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. ________________ As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Have you ever done something truly courageous? If so, what was it? What made it an act of courage for you? If you haven’t, then why not? What has held you back? Is it possible you were brave at times, yet your brain doesn’t conceptualize it as courage? Courage is a complicated concept and phenomenon. Most human beings over the age of three have displayed acts of courage. So how come we often don’t feel that way? How come we can do something that is objectively brave, yet we don’t feel brave? In this episode of the Therapists’ Take Podcast, host Joshua Nichols, and guest host, Rebel Buersmeyer, will walk us through the complexities of the phenomenon in effort to help us understand it better. You'll hear an amazing story of courage where Rebel was in the position where she was compelled to land a small plane on an unfamiliar landing strip. Rebel and Josh will also discuss the role shame plays, the role of fear, and the problem they have with the concept of "cowardice." Here are some great quotes from the episode: "You only have to be brave five seconds at a time." "The opposite of being courageous isn't cowardice, it's just being." ____________________________ The structure of this episode will be as follows: 00:00 - Hi, Rebel! 02:00 - Episode Format 05:55 - Rebel's Courage While Flying a Plane 17:10 - Defining Courage 23:10 - Paradoxical Courage 33:35 - The Problem of Cowardice 42:50 - The Power of Short-Lived Courage __________________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ BOOK: Will by Will Smith - https://amzn.to/465ndrq ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

This bonus episode is technically the ending to Episode 28: On the Complex Role of Anger after Infidelity. This particular portion primarily focuses on the unfaithful partner's anger that often has been long suppressed. That, however, does not mean that it is always appropriate to express to the betrayed partner who is healing from the act(s) of infidelity, but it can no longer be repressed either. It's quite the conundrum. We hope you enjoy this episode, but you can watch the full episode, which is linked below. __________________ The Role of Anger After Infidelity (LIVE video broadcast) - https://www.youtube.com/live/SQqbm-Rrlto?si=RRaliEwLCXgdtYv4 The Role of Anger After Infidelity (YouTube Podcast) - https://youtu.be/nZ-ZEDgji00 __________________ Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok

Most people can intellectually understand that anger is a reasonable emotional response for those who discover the infidelity of their partners. Anger makes sense, but is it helpful? Does it have a purpose or place in one’s recovery? The reality is that many of us have a complicated relationship with anger. Some are more comfortable with it than they should be and others may be so uncomfortable with it that they rarely express it; and then there is everything in between. In this episode of Therapists’ Take, Carrie and Josh will discuss the complexities of anger as well as how it can effectively be used to aid in the process of recovery. Here is the structure of the episode: - The Purpose of Anger After Discovery - Toxic Anger vs Healing Anger - Anger and Accountability to Boundaries - The Anger of the Unfaithful Partner Please tune in for this LIVE broadcast. #angermanagement #betrayaltraumarecovery #podcast Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. ________________ Equipment Used & Other Amazon Links: Mic Stands - https://amzn.to/46o4So6 Rode Pod Mic - https://amzn.to/3Rsw5Sz Pyle Mixer Board - https://amzn.to/3ZsJU5g iRig Pre 2 - https://amzn.to/3ZpCPm9 As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

You may have heard some version for the following phrase in reference to couple communication - “You have a perspective. Your partner has a perspective. Then, there is what really happened.” You also likely are familiar with the research on eye-witness testimony that speaks to just how wildly unreliable eye-witness testimony is in a court of law. So, if our memory is seemingly so unreliable, then what’s the point? What is the purpose of memory; and can it be used in a way to enhance couple communication as opposed to escalation disagreement and amplifying already heightened emotions? In this episode of Therapists’ Take Podcast, Carrie and Josh are going to have a conversation about memory, its limitations, and how it can be most effectively utilized in couple communication. The structure of this episode will be as follows: - How does memory serve us? - Why does memory change? - What are limitations to memory? - How can memory be properly utilized in couple communication? ______________ Links: Topic: Flashbulb Memory | Ep: Free Brian Williams | Revisionist History Podcast | Season 3 Episode 4 - https://youtu.be/Nn7RPk5e4uA?si=RI7b8u4YPO5P2DPN How Reliable Is Eye-Witness Testimony? - https://www.science.org/content/article/how-reliable-eyewitness-testimony-scientists-weigh Black Mirror clip - https://youtu.be/hv68PrVbW4k?si=dkcYqyatrm27fsMg _________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. ________________ As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

No one likes a bully! More often than not when you imagine “a bully” your mind gravitates to some kid from your childhood that pulled your hair, called you names, or even inflicted physical harm upon you. We just can’t wait to be grown so we don’t have to deal with that anymore, right? Wait! Do bullies exist in adulthood as well. The short answer is “yes,” but it often manifests differently. In this episode of #TherapistsTakePodcast, Carrie and Josh are going to talk about adult bullies. Not only are they going to give their take on the nuances and subtleties of how adult bullies function as opposed to childhood bullies. _______________ 00:00 - Hi, Carrie! 06:34 - Episode Structure 09:08 - Why Adult Bullying Is Difficult to Recognize 17:30 - The Tactical Nuances of the Adult Bully 29:30 - Effectively Responding to the Adult Bully 44:33 - The Logic Bully 49:28 - Assessing the Emotional Aftermath _______________ Referenced in the Episode: Disordered Eating Episode w/ Rebel Buersmeyer - https://youtube.com/live/6l9T2_GVWlY?feature=share The Michael Richards Clip (21:50) - https://youtu.be/mNSK5aLIt_M?si=9K3Uh6KgJkZ2xvd9 Adam Grant Podcast - https://adamgrant.net/podcasts/ The Fresh and Fit Clip (47:35) - https://youtu.be/_yPPqKb5WIo?si=BYyG9CWA04S2IfH4 Gaslighting Playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmpKQiGv_EQ7Rh-Jc_Asg4Rm5BC-m9v2e Gaslighting Article - https://familysolutionsok.com/vulnerability-exploitation-twelve-typologies-of-gaslightingfound-in-committed-couple-relationships/ Logic Bully Article - https://nicholsworth.medium.com/life-is-short-dont-be-a-logic-bully-e78a71e5e39d ________________ Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Bullying Website - https://www.stopbullying.gov/ Article: Adult Bullying Is a Thing, Too - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-we-are/202102/adult-bullying-is-thing-too ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. _______________ As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases. #bullyingawareness #bullyprevention #mentalhealthpodcast

The decision to leave a marriage or a committed relationship is hardly ever an easy decision and it’s even harder to execute. As much as we applaud the courage it takes to leave when that time comes, it doesn’t change the reality that it is supposed to be hard. It shouldn’t be an easy decision; and it most definitely shouldn’t be a knee-jerk reaction. In this episode of Therapists’ Take, podcast hosts and professional couples therapists, Josh and Carrie, are going to discuss a question that is often dreaded and sometimes painfully avoided - How do I know when it is time to leave my marriage (or committed relationship)? The format of this episode will go as follows: - When does someone have the “right” to leave? - What are the valid concerns or fears in staying or leaving? - Valuing Togetherness Over Happiness Diminishes Accountability - Josh’s Paradox: If you’re NOT willing to lose each other, you’re NOT ready to have each other. __________________ Books for Couples Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel - https://amzn.to/3RfFN9K Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John Gottman - https://amzn.to/4aYuUjD Why Him, Why Her? By Helen Fisher - https://amzn.to/4aSN4n7 The Anatomy of Love by Helen Fisher - https://amzn.to/3Vd4mFl Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson - https://amzn.to/4aUFrN5 The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman - https://amzn.to/45f535Q The Works of John Gottman - https://amzn.to/3KyRgxz _______________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ _______________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases. #mentalhealthpodcast #marriage #podcastshow

The decision to go to therapy is not an easy one. In addition to figuring our how you are going to afford it, there is also many other emotional barriers to overcome like overcoming the social stigma, facing your sense of failure or embarrassment, not to mention all that goes in to choosing the “right” therapist. With all the effort and vulnerability that goes in to merely making the decision, the last thing you want to experience is therapy “not working.” When people have the experience in therapy, it can often leave a stain on their perception of therapy and its efficacy that ends up being just another barrier to overcome. In this episode of Therapists’ Take, Carrie and Josh are going to address this issue and discuss what they believe people can do in effort to get the most out of therapy. Their discussion will be broken down into the following segments: - The Search: Finding a Good Fit - The Session: What to Do While in Session - The In-Between: What to Do in Between Sessions - The Follow-Through: What About When Therapy Ends? _______________ Carl Patterson wrote an excellent blog on this very issue. Please check it out at https://familysolutionsok.com/stop-paying-therapists/ Carrie & Rebel's episode on EMDR - https://youtube.com/live/sGb1tTJqbA0?feature=share What Is Betrayal Trauma - https://youtu.be/4F8lVLc4UyM _________________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. _____________________ As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Stress and anxiety seem to plague us all at some point in our human existence. However, although most teens and adults can relate to the concept of stress and anxiety, it seems to manifest in way similar to another as well as way quite different from another. Despite how similar or different our experiences are with anxiety, one thing us universally agreed upon, no two situations are exactly the same. In this episode, Therapists' Take co-host, Joshua Nichols, is actually the guest of Diana Giles, a cyber-security expert, IT professional and business owner, and host of a new podcast called, For the Health of I.T. Together, both Diana and Josh will discuss the complexities and nuances of stress and anxiety, as well as some helpful tips for managing it. _____________________________________ Please take a minute to visit Diana Giles' new podcast. Please give it and Therapists' Take Podcast a 5-star review if you enjoyed or found benefit in this content. Podcast - For The Health of I.T. (forthehealthofit.tech) Episode - https://forthehealthofit.tech/episodes/messin-with-stress ____________________________ More on Diana Giles: Visit her website. RecoveryTV Videos featuring Diana Giles 5 Ways to Protect Your Child from Online P*rn - https://youtu.be/xXBb0bvY2fE?si=DUK8RNRScjxfHhAl Parenting in a Pornified Culture - https://youtu.be/OqKED5SdGD4?si=qKR98mVoGbMSKmaD __________________________ Therapy Resources Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned.

Have you ever been referred to as someone’s “work wife” or “work husband”? Is that even okay to do? What about other types of opposite s3x friendships? Are they okay to have? If so, how are they different from same-s3x friendships? So many questions, right? Don’t you worry because Carrie and Josh are on it! In this episode Carrie and Josh will discuss not so much the importance of friendship, but primarily the complexities of opposite s3x friendships. We hope you enjoy this episode and/or find some kind of helpful benefit as you try to better understand yourself, your relationships, and how the different types of friendships fit into the equation. Let us know your thoughts and questions in the comments. Thanks for watching! ___________ Regarding LGTBQIA+ friendships and friendship concerns: Although this episode is primarily focused on the concerns of those who are currently in or plan to be in heterosexual couple relationships, we would love to hear from the LGTBQIA+ community regarding how friendship concerns and boundary failure manifests. If you’re comfortable with it, please tell us your thoughts in the comments. __________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases. #mentalhealthpodcast #friendshipmatters #podcastshow

EMDR is a form a trauma treatment that his highly effective and greatly revered amongst the mental health community as well as those seeking mental services.  In case you are not aware, EMDR stands for “Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.”  It gets its name because Francine Shapiro, the founder and primary developer of EMDR, first discovered it because of the physiological and emotional changes she felt when she moved her eyes in certain ways.  After further investigation and development, EMDR isn’t so much about eye movement as it is about bilateral stimulation.  In other words, stimulating both hemispheres of the brain with the intentional purpose of reprocessing trauma has shown to be highly effective in healing and trauma recovery work. In this episode, Carrie Kyger is joined once again by Rebel Buersmeyer who is back again to substitute in as co-host in place of regular co-host, Joshua Nichols. Carrie and Rebel are trained EMDR therapists, who make regular use of this unique form of trauma treatment in their private practice.  Here is the breakdown of the episode: 1. Who Is EMDR Most Effective For? 2. What Else Can It Be Used For? 3. What Is EMDR Like from the Client’s Perspective? Thanks for tuning in.  As always here are some helpful links related to this discussion: • Find an EMDR Therapist at Family Solutions Counseling - https://familysolutionsok.com/about/ • Find an EMDR Therapist Near You - https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/ • EMDR Article by Rebel Buersmeyer - https://tinyurl.com/4dzj22xj • Treating First Responders - https://www.youtube.com/live/SEB6-vFQetY?si=KrVOavpeeJDNy8UR • Book: Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro - https://amzn.to/3yl8fjT _____________________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website - https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include Instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok ________________ As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

Are our first responders heroes in your view, or are they villains? It seems like these two camps are often feuding back and forth on mainstream and social medias. In this episode of Therapists’ Take, we hope to offer up a different perspective. We aim to take a look at our first responders in such a way that reminds us that they are human. They are flesh and blood like you and me. And not unlike many groups or professions, they are faced with a unique set of mental, emotional, and relational challenges, which happens to be part of the sacrifice each and every one of them make for their communities. In no way are we making excuses for bad policing or even suggesting bad policing doesn’t exist, but our hope is put compassion back into the equation as we take a deeper dive at the human being behind the badge. In this episode of Therapists’ Take, we are excited to have a couple very special guests join us. Derek Thomason is a licensed professional counselor who serves as a mental health therapist for the Oklahoma City Police Department Wellness Unit. Additionally, our colleague and business partner, Rebel Buersmeyer returns to Therapists’ Take. She is a licensed marital and family therapist with training and experience working with families of fallen first responders. Our guests are in the mental, emotional, and relational trenches with first responders on a regular basis. We are honored to have them join us. _______________ 00:00 - Hi, Carrie (banter) 02:56 - Guest Introductions 07:00 - About Rebel Buersmeyer, LMFT 08:35 - About Derek Thomason, LPC 10:26 - Episode Breakdown 12:10 - Unique Mental Health Challenges 20:14 - Rebel Explains the Vagel Nerve 25:33 - Unique Relational Challenges 31:24 - Partners of First Responders 42:08 - Remembering Their Humanity 52:00 - Books & Other Resources ______________ Please be sure to check out the resources below: Books - The Body Keeps the Score - https://amzn.to/44tr4h0 - Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement - https://amzn.to/3WrtVVz - I Love a Cop - https://amzn.to/4dme1C3 - A CHiP on My Shoulder - https://amzn.to/4boxK22 - A Marriage in Progress - https://amzn.to/3Wsttqm Resources - The Warriors Rest Foundation - https://www.warriorsrestfoundation.org - C.O.P.S. - https://www.concernsofpolicesurvivors.org - How to Love Our Cops - https://www.how2loveourcops.org/ - EMDR Therapist Directory - https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/ Videos - EMDR w/ Rebel Buersmeyer - https://youtu.be/G692ymBkg-4?si=Z_fcfKFCLqQSuBGp - EMDR w/ Derek Thomason - https://youtu.be/_7oBFC11Do0?si=blFTgFEgQCgvR_I7 ______________ Please follow us on all our social medias and check out our podcasts by clicking our LinkTree - https://linktr.ee/familysolutionsok ______________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. ________________ As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

This is a throwback interview that I conducted on March 18, 2019 with friend and colleague, Travis Ernst. Although the interview is several years old, I still think the information still holds up. Here's the youtube link - https://youtu.be/VnDdfbllDOQ In this episode of RecoveryTV LIVE, our guest expert - licensed therapist, Travis Ernst - addresses the issue of gambling addiction. Travis is the clinical director of a local organization in the OKC metro area that specializes in gambling addiction treatment among other forms of addiction and family-related treatments. Travis sheds light on many elements surrounding this phenomenon we call gambling and gambling addiction. Links, as promised: National Council on Problem Gambling - https://www.ncpgambling.org/ Oklahoma Association on Problem & Compulsive Gambling - http://www.oapcg.org/ RecoveryTV Social Media Links and Website: -~-~~-~~~-~~-~- Please watch: "How to Handle Intrusive Thoughts in Sex Addiction Recovery" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfPOphLTTNk -~-~~-~~~-~~-~- Please follow us on all our social medias and check out our podcasts by clicking our LinkTree - https://linktr.ee/familysolutionsok

What is the emotional difference in being “loved” versus being “liked?” Does it really matter? Well, we think it does! In this episode of Therapists’ Take, Carrie and Josh are going to discuss the nuances and purposes of these emotional experiences and why they matter to relationships. Joining them in this discussion will be marriage therapist and author of the book “Liked: Finding the Acceptance that Matters Most,” Ben Thompson, LMFT. Below are the chapters for this episode: ___________ 00:00 - Hi, Carrie! 01:55 - Introducing Ben Thompson, LMFT 03:56 - Structure of this Episode 04:38 - About the "Liked" Book 07:55 - Carrie's Pediatrician Story 11:10 - LOVE vs LIKED 20:23 - LOVE GETS THE GLORY! 23:26 - THE RELATIONAL UNSUNG HERO 27:10 - Liking Self Comes First. 31:33 - Ben's Writing Journey ___________ Book: “Liked” by Ben Thompson, LMFT - https://amzn.to/4aYy33u Video: “Three Fears that Prevent Self-Acceptance” featuring Ben Thompson, LMFT - https://youtu.be/tGmP-up679I?si=nO-j_v0TcNcR2zXf Book: "ScreamFree Parenting" by Hal Runkel - https://amzn.to/3QxYlC7 ___________ Follow, like, subscribe and see more great content here. http://www.linktr.we/familysolutionsok __________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. ________________ Equipment Used & Other Amazon Links: Mic Stands - https://amzn.to/46o4So6 Rode Pod Mic - https://amzn.to/3Rsw5Sz Pyle Mixer Board - https://amzn.to/3ZsJU5g iRig Pre 2 - https://amzn.to/3ZpCPm9 #TherapistsTakePodcast #LikeYourself #LoveOneAnother #MentalHealthPodcast #Podcast #MarriageHelp #LikedBook #Poweroflove

Here is another bonus episode from the beginning of Therapists' Take when it was a LIVE show only and not a podcast. Hope you enjoy! Communication is easy! We all do it whether we are intentional with it or unintentional. We are always saying something even if we are saying nothing. The challenge with communication is learning to be effective in it, which is easier said than done. In this episode of Therapists’ Take, licensed therapists take on one of the most fundamental elements and challenges to human existence as they tackle what it means to be an effective communicator. Quotes from the Show: "One cannot not communicate." - Paul Watzlawick "You say it best when you say nothing at all." - Alison Krauss ______________________ 00:00 - Intro 02:00 - Insecurities Are Injured Feelings (Vulnerabilities) 12:00 - Curiosity & the Nugget of Truth 21:25 - Creating Safety within Self 29:40 - Book recommendations _____________________ Book recommendations The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John Gottmann - https://amzn.to/42URZjT The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman - https://amzn.to/3nVUT97 The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer - https://amzn.to/3LXot61 __________________ Great Clip on Curiosity from Ted Lasso - https://youtu.be/3S16b-x5mRA Van Jones Clip on NOT paving the jungle - https://youtu.be/Zms3EqGbFOk __________________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. _______________ Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok ________________ As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases. _________________ #CoupleCommunication #EmotionalSafety #effectivecommunication

What is a “good enough” marriage? Shouldn’t we aspire for “great” or even “better-than-good” marriages? In this episode of the Therapists’ Take Podcast, marriage therapists and podcast hosts, Carrie and Josh, will discuss why they believe the “good enough” marriage is superior to all other types. ______________ 00:00 - Hi, Carrie! 05:00 - Cultural Myths of Marriage 14:50 - Settling vs. Reimagining 27:20 - Hard Realities & New Experiences 37:30 - The Way Forward _____________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website -https://www.familysolutionsok.com. _______________ Additionally, check out Mary & Josie’s new podcast by Family Solutions Media called, “Are You in session?” In this podcast, Mary & Josie welcome you into their minds, friendship, and their ever “shrinking” world. You can find it on YouTube (@RecoveryTV4u), Apple Podcast, Spotify, and a variety of other podcast platforms. And, stay tuned for the newest Family Solutions Media podcast to enter the podcasting universe - Poetry in Layers. In this podcast, therapist, author, and spoken word artist, Carl Patterson, will perform a series of poems with a unique mental health flavor. You don’t want to miss it. So stay tuned. Follow us on our other platforms which include instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Equipment Used & Other Amazon Links: Mic Stands - https://amzn.to/46o4So6 Rode Pod Mic - https://amzn.to/3Rsw5Sz Pyle Mixer Board - https://amzn.to/3ZsJU5g iRig Pre 2 - https://amzn.to/3ZpCPm9 As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases.

PDF Download of "The Compassionate Response Continuum." - https://tinyurl.com/r3jdyevr Have you ever been in a relationship that was so high in conflict it seemed like no matter what you said or how you responded it was met with even more intensity? Did it feel kind of like throwing water on a grease fire? This is actually a common experience where conflict as escalated in emotional intensity. This is especially true for couple who are in betrayal trauma recovery from the discovery of infidelity or seggs addiction. But, these are the only reasons couples might be experiencing an ever-increasing conflictual relationship. Whatever the reason may be, the Compassionate Response Continuum was created to be a helpful communication tool in effort to help couples navigate these treacherous waters. In this episode of Therapists’ Take, licensed therapists Carrie and Josh are going to discuss the unique elements of the couple communication tool so you can have a better understanding of how it can be utilized in your relationships. Here is the original YouTube video for the Compassionate Response Continuum - https://youtu.be/egB0tiNA8X4 __________________ Therapy Resources: Therapist Directory: https://www.psychologytoday.com Betrayal Trauma Therapist Directory: https://iitap.com/search/custom.asp?id=5357 The Gottman Institute (Relationship Research) - https://www.gottman.com/ ________________ About the Hosts Carrie and Josh are both licensed marital and family therapists (LMFT) that specialize in betrayal trauma recovery. You can read more about them and the work they do on their practice website - https://www.familysolutionsok.com. Follow us on our other platforms which include Instagram and apple podcasts. Links can be found on our Link Tree - https://www.linktr.ee/familysolutionsok _______________ Equipment Used & Other Amazon Links: Mic Stands - https://amzn.to/46o4So6 Rode Pod Mic - https://amzn.to/3Rsw5Sz Pyle Mixer Board - https://amzn.to/3ZsJU5g iRig Pre 2 - https://amzn.to/3ZpCPm9 As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases. #BetrayaltraumaRecovery, #compassionmatters #mentalhealthpodcast