Losing a child is unimaginable and the grief unbearable. Margie takes us through her story of the death of her son and how she processed and is still processing the grief. This is a great episode to learn how to deal with those who have suffered with loss and not say empty words and how to be there for them. She also shares her download from God about the stages of grief and how they are like losing a limb.

Listening and asking about the deceased is so valuable to the family members grieving. One of the worse things you can do is try to compare your loss if it is not the same. If the person has lost a child and you lost your parents, not comparing the two.

For Margie, staying connected to family and friends was one of the most healing things for her. Posting memories and prayers on Facebook was also healing for her along with the community she has on Facebook.

She shares a beautiful analogy of a soldier on the battlefield that loses a limb.
Stage #1:  The moment of injury or the grenade in the field
-Stop the bleeding and stop the pain
Emotionally:
-Its the first call and you are in shock and can't move or breathe and feel like you are dying.

Stage #2:  The life saving surgery stage
Rushed off battlefield, wounds stitched up and stabilized
Emotionally:  Desperate call for survival
You go to an operating room as well, God and His Word is his scalpel and the OR team are the close people who know your pain to stabilize you.

Stage #3:  The phantom pain stage
The brain and nerves not communicating well and there is severe pain in waves.
Emotionally: Waves of grief
There is denial and the waves of pain are very strong

Stage #4:  The rehab stage (the longest stage)
The goal is to get from dependence to previous level of function. There are ordered phases. You have to sit over the bed, then stand up, then walk. No patients says "oh I'm glad you are here, I'm ready" to their physical therapist. To stand you must be fitted with a prosthetic leg and will need a walker, cane or hand held assist until they can walk on your own.

Emotionally:
Getting up literally out of bed or just getting back to cooking a meal or walking. Something you don't want to do. The Word of God can be your prosthesis to get up and get moving. We can't stand up without it.  The assistive devices emotionally are things like acts of obedience that need to happen to get us through. A mindset change, healing of relationship, lifestyle healthy habits, or getting counseling.

The bottom line is that you can't give up. If we give up you will go backwards. Every time you fall you get stronger and can help others.

Stage #5:  Discharge to home or the new life era
Must develop of a new positive self image. You never look the same again. You are not handicapped. You are still the same person. Your pain and suffering do not define you but shape you into what you will be doing. You want to come out into the world so that you can help others.

Now, re-imagine what your life will look like. An amputee will have to learn how to walk up stairs, drive a car, and so many things will have to be done differently. The same is true with the emotional loss.



You can find Margie here:

https://www.facebook.com/sonlighthealth/?eid=ARDMBKyHqPhMpDMGEvJZ2F5_sXoKHDjx9hrC2hh2V3oF9F_6fDuFAbYJS1q5IBnEqZ5l30Eb7XZqsGDE&timeline_context_item_type=intro_card_work&timeline_context_item_source=1526717813&fref=tag