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What if your child’s refusal to brush their teeth, get dressed, or follow instructions wasn’t about defiance—but about survival?

In this episode, I talk with Amanda Preston—social worker, mom to eight neurodivergent kids, and expert in Autism, stress responses and misunderstood behavior. We explore what’s really going on when kids can’t do something that seems so simple and how the traditional approaches to parenting can actually make things worse.

If your child resists everyday tasks, melts down over small requests, or seems to need total control just to function… This conversation is for you.

Key Takeaways

• Not all kids who "act out" are being oppositional—some are having a threat response to everyday demands.
• Many kids who seem "fine at school" and fall apart at home are masking their stress to get through the day.
• Standard parenting strategies often backfire with these kids—what they need is a low-demand, relationship-based approach.
• Diagnosis like autism can show up in ways parents don’t expect—especially when kids are bright, sensitive, and highly verbal.
• Understanding your child’s nervous system is more effective than enforcing rules or routines.

Episode Highlights

[00:02:00 ] – What “neurodivergent” really means and why so many parents misunderstand it

[00:04:00 ] – When everyday tasks feel threatening to your child’s nervous system

[00:06:30 ] – Why these kids often get misdiagnosed or misunderstood as “difficult”

[00:09:30 ] – Andi shares her personal experience of trying to get help (and the resistance she faced)

[00:11:00 ] – The four stress responses and how they show up differently in different kids

[00:15:30 ] – Why typical parenting tools (like consequences) make things worse

[00:18:00 ] – Real-life examples of low-demand parenting in action

[00:21:30 ] – Sensory struggles with food, clothes, and hygiene—and how to stop fighting them

[00:26:00 ] – What to know before seeking an autism assessment

[00:31:00 ] – Why even a thorough psychoeducational assessment can miss what’s really going on

[00:36:00 ] – Autism is a spectrum—and most people only recognize one tiny part of it

[00:40:00 ] – How to spot the “freeze” response that often gets mistaken for stubbornness

[00:44:00 ] – Amanda’s advice for schools, co-parents, and extended family

[00:49:00 ] – Small tools that help kids regulate—like snacks, bubble gum, or getting down to their level

Resources Mentioned

Amanda Preston’s websites

– Canada-Based Support:https://deercreektherapy.ca/

– International Parent Coaching: https://amandapreston.co

Instagram Accounts

– @deercreektherapy: https://www.instagram.com/deercreektherapy

– @the_neurodivergent_bunch: www.instagram.com/the_neurodivergent_bunch

– @thefostermomsocialworker: https://www.instagram.com/thefostermomsocialworker

Books & Experts Mentioned

– Is This Autism? by Dr. Donna Henderson

– Low-Demand Parenting by Amanda Diekman

– Self-Reg by Dr. Stuart Shanker

– The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene

– Kristy Forbes and the Intune Pathways course

– NeuroWild on Facebook for bite-sized visual resources

If this episode made you feel seen—know you’re not alone. You can find more resources, support, and next steps below.