In this episode, we delve into the Enneagram Type 1, known as The Perfectionist. The Enneagram serves as a powerful tool to help parents recognize their unconscious thought patterns, enabling them to guide their children toward self-awareness and positive transformation. Type 1 children often fixate on imperfections in their environment and themselves, striving for perfection and control.

We start with an introduction to Enneagram Type 1, explaining how these individuals tend to focus on what needs to be fixed. Their unconscious thought patterns can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and rigidity. The host shares a personal anecdote about the challenges faced while recording episode 16, illustrating the struggle with perfectionism and the importance of being flexible and forgiving of oneself.

The episode includes a listener question from an INFJ Type 1 father who struggles with his ISTP Type 8 son, who resists rules and chores. The host advises focusing on connection before correction, recognizing the son's need for independence, and engaging in activities the son enjoys to build a better relationship.

We also explore the different variants of Type 1:

• Self-preservation Ones: Worriers who focus on controlling their environment.


• Social Ones: Intellectuals who strive to set an example for others.


• One-on-one (Sexual) Ones: Express anger and are highly critical, resembling Type 8 in their intensity.

For growth, Type 1s need to become aware of their unconscious patterns and reframe negative thoughts. Strategies for personal development include practicing forgiveness, empathy, flexibility, and self-care.

Common challenges for Type 1s are discussed along with ways to reframe their thoughts:

• Perfectionism: Embrace progress over perfection and view mistakes as opportunities for growth.


• Anger: Channel anger constructively and focus on positive change.


• Resentment: Practice forgiveness and let go of grudges.


• Anxiety: Stay present and practice mindfulness techniques.


• Guilt: Understand that everyone makes mistakes and move forward after making amends.


• Rigidity: Embrace flexibility and spontaneity.


• Criticism: Shift from criticism to constructive feedback and recognize everyone's strengths.


• Judgment: Practice empathy and understanding.


• Tension: Use relaxation techniques to alleviate stress and prioritize self-care.

The host offers encouraging words and affirmations to help Type 1s reframe their thoughts and focus on positive growth. The episode also includes spiritual insights, referencing biblical encouragement not to worry and highlighting the importance of faith and trust in a higher power.

Listeners are encouraged to email questions to WendyGossett.com and explore further resources such as the "Understanding Your Family 101" session or the "Not So Normal Parenting" Facebook community for support and guidance.

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