Rupture without Repair, and the Discomfort of Being Misunderstood  

In this deeply personal episode, Patricia (she/her) unpacks the fallout from a neighborhood rupture and the painful loss of community connection. Through the lens of being autistic and AuDHD, she explores rejection sensitivity, communication breakdowns, friendship trauma, and why repair isn't always possible. She also shares how co-regulation, body doubling, Costco runs, and fierce family love provide grounding. This conversation is raw, tender, and validating for anyone who has struggled with being misunderstood as a neurodivergent person.

WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE

·       The neighborhood rupture and how a joke led to exclusion from a community group

·       What happens when rupture and repair aren't possible in friendships

·       The autistic need for clarity, communication, and closure

·       Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) and how silence feels like rejection

·       The PDA (persistent drive for autonomy) response to being left out

·       The pain of friendship trauma and feeling misunderstood

·       How autistic people process and loop on unresolved conflict

·       The role of community in belonging and nervous system regulation

·       Why body doubling and co-regulation help autistic/ADHD brains stay grounded

·       Finding comfort in Costco runs, small joys, and simple routines

·       Permission to need rest, wear earplugs, or retreat from sensory overwhelm

·       Generational differences in friendship and communication between neurodivergent people

·       Practicing adaptability through change (like moving workspaces at home)

·       The bittersweet truth: not all friendships are meant to last

·       Gratitude reframed through an autistic lens—how to find appreciation without bypassing pain

SOUND BITES

"For us, it felt like there was no space for human mistakes, no place for rupture and repair."

"This activated friendship trauma in me, and I've noticed my protective armor is up."

"Intellectually, I know this is fine. Emotionally, feeling misunderstood and powerless is really hard."

"You have a right to speak up."

"Not all friendships last forever."

"Life is messy. Friendships are messy."

"Body doubling is such a beautiful way to borrow someone else's nervous system to regulate."

"Sensitivity is nothing to apologize for. It's how you're wired. You have the right to take up space."

SENSITIVITY IS NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR; IT'S HOW YOUR BRAIN IS WIRED

You are not broken. You were shaped by systems that weren't built for you. You deserve rest, joy, and support exactly as you are.

 

TOPICS COVERED (please adjust for addition of introduction)

00:00 Navigating Community Dynamics

08:42 The Impact of Silence and Rejection

17:06 Rupture, Repair, and the Complexity of Relationships

23:52 Finding Joy in Everyday Moments

29:13 Gratitude and Perspective on Life

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young (she/her) was a Licensed Clinical Social Worke