#268 - Mindset Monday: Scared of Failing or Scared of Succeeding
Description
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In this episode Matt breaks down why people struggling with addiction and people in relationships with addicts keep their standards low and stay stuck in the same cycles. He explains why so many men fear success more than failure, why sobriety feels terrifying even when you know you can do it, and how comfort becomes the enemy of long-term recovery.
Matt shares his own story of keeping the bar on the floor for years and how Paige’s unrelenting standards for honesty, integrity, and showing up as a good man forced him to confront the life he was hiding in. He talks about burning the boats on the old life that was easy but destructive, raising the bar, and finally committing to the hard work that recovery requires.
This episode also speaks directly to spouses and partners of addicts, explaining why they lower expectations, avoid enforcing boundaries, and silence themselves to avoid conflict, abandonment, or disappointment. Matt shows the parallel between men avoiding effort and spouses avoiding expectations, and how both create long-term pain and resentment.
If you are trying to get sober, rebuilding trust, fighting for your marriage, or trying to find yourself again after years of addiction-related chaos, this episode will give you clarity, direction, and a push toward the higher standards that lead to real change.
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