Lauren and Chanler are back, and the delusion is in-season. From Golden Bachelor heartbreak to Kardashian conspiracies, the girls spiral through the week’s most unserious chaos — with morally corrupt pranks, PR flops, and billionaire birthday parties galore.

Lauren kicks things off with a sick-in-the-head deep dive into Gerry Turner’s memoir (yes, the Golden Bachelor himself) and her impassioned “Justice for Theresa” movement. The sisters unpack Lauren’s morally bankrupt auntie era and Pookie & Jett’s Hermès-themed first birthday party for Paloma. Lastly, the sisters break down Kris Jenner’s 70th bash — complete with appearances from Jeff Bezos, Meghan Markle, and Kim K’s TikTok vlog.

They also dive into the All’s Fair premiere, Kim’s alleged bar exam failure, Shay Mitchell’s controversial kids’ skincare line, and a Taylor Swift wedding theory that might just send the internet into cardiac arrest.

(00:00:00 ) — Tuesday confessionals, NYC weather updates, and prepping for the Layla interview.

(00:03:42 ) — Lauren’s Golden Bachelor memoir deep dive + the “Smoothies for Theresa” merch moment.

(00:09:15 ) — The $20 prank that turned Lauren into a morally bankrupt auntie.

(00:14:50 ) — Pookie & Jett’s Hermès birthday: the influencer-industrial complex strikes again.

(00:22:11 ) — Kris Jenner’s 70th birthday: Jeff Bezos hosting, Harry & Meghan’s attendance, and Kim K’s party vlog.

(00:27:39 ) — Meghan Markle pregnancy rumor + Kim’s post-party photo dump drama.

(00:33:08 ) — Kim fails the bar exam: ChatGPT-coded announcement + “future lawyer” jokes gone wrong.

(00:40:25 ) — All’s Fair review: Kim’s camp masterpiece + the unrealistic “ass-out” suit.

(00:52:19 ) — Shay Mitchell’s kids’ skincare line and the unhinged influencer logic behind it.

(00:59:34 ) — Taylor Swift’s rumored bridesmaids list + wedding speculation spirals.

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