DiscoverSecurely Attached343. Q&A: What should I do when empathy and connection doesn’t calm my child down?
343. Q&A: What should I do when empathy and connection doesn’t calm my child down?

343. Q&A: What should I do when empathy and connection doesn’t calm my child down?

Update: 2025-09-18
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Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

 

  • Why your child may not calm down, even when you lead with empathy and connection.

  • How to redefine what it means for a strategy to “work” in the heat of the moment.

  • The role of patience and presence when your child’s nervous system just isn’t ready to shift.

  • Why successful co-regulation doesn’t always mean a calm child.

  • How to disengage without disconnecting—and why that can sometimes be the most effective approach.

  • Practical ways to support yourself so you can stay regulated when your child isn’t.

 

If you’ve ever tried "all the right things" and still found yourself stuck with a child who can’t calm down, this episode will help you feel validated, supported, and grounded in what you can (and can’t) control.

 

 

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

 

👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!

 

 

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology of dysregulation with Cara Goodwin

 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom

 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising emotionally resilient children with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

 

 

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

 

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

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343. Q&A: What should I do when empathy and connection doesn’t calm my child down?

343. Q&A: What should I do when empathy and connection doesn’t calm my child down?

Dr. Sarah Bren