Loving Well When You Feel Down

Even the strongest marriages go through hard seasons. Whether you're facing emotional burnout, stress, or feeling spiritually distant, it's easy to feel like you have nothing left to give in your relationship.

So how do you love your spouse when you feel depleted?

This post is your quick “reset”—a reminder of what really matters in marriage and how to keep moving forward, even when your heart feels heavy.

Why Your Marriage Matters in God’s Eyes

Jesus gave us two commandments that anchor everything else:

1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

And your closest neighbor?

It’s your spouse.

Your marriage is a reflection of how you walk out our love for God. Even when it’s hard.

What to Do When You Feel Emotionally Empty in Marriage

We all go through tough seasons.

• Illness

• Financial stress

• Parenting challenges

• Mental health struggles

It’s in these moments that we have to boil it down to the essentials.

When you're empty, don’t try to fix everything. Just focus on God’s call to love—simply and sincerely.

Here’s what that looks like:

Essentials for a Husband: Love Her as Christ Loves the Church

What does that mean, practically?

• Make her feel safe. Don’t push, pressure, or demand. Be her steady place.

• Make her feel known. Ask her about her heart. Get curious about her thoughts, not just her to-do list.

• Make her feel cherished. Hold her. Smile at her. Take her on a walk. Celebrate her quietly and tenderly.

These don’t require a perfect mood. They require intentionality. And the reward is deeper connection—even in the middle of life’s mess.

Essentials for a Wife: Respect, Admiration, and Wholehearted Intimacy

This can feel especially hard when you’re drained. But again, focus on the essentials:

• Use respectful words. Even if you’re not in the best place emotionally, try phrases like “Thank you for working so hard,” or “I admire how you handled that.”

• Don’t argue or snap. Let kindness guard your tongue, even when emotions are high.

• Offer intimacy with a full heart. This isn’t about obligation. It’s about loving your husband in a way he receives love—with joy and generosity, even if you don’t initially feel it.

When You're Struggling—Love Anyway

This is the path Jesus modeled for us.

We don’t love our spouse because they deserve it. We love them because Jesus asks us to love—sacrificially, tenderly, in the way the other feels loved.

When you’re struggling and all you can do is offer “just the essentials,” that’s enough.

God sees your heart. And He blesses your obedience.

Final Thoughts

Next time you feel like you can’t give anything more—come back to this. Read it again. Pray again. Take just one small action.

Unity is still possible. Even when you are down.

 

With love,

The DYM Team

 

PS - If you're ready to take the next step in healing your marriage, we would love to chat with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call at delightym.com/cc

 

PPS - Here is (another) quote from a recent graduate:
"We argued constantly! Literally almost daily. The constant arguing was mentally and physically exhausting! It felt impossible to have peace or joy if my husband was around. It was affecting me so deeply that I was struggling with intense fatigue...[After Delighted Wife], we can actually enjoy each other, we can actually focus on other things. I am not experiencing such intense fatigue all the time and am feeling like I can start getting back to being a productive human. My devotional and prayer time are spent seeking God, seeking Him in the scriptures, trying to catch His heat through His word rather than lamenting and focusing on all the bad. "