Episode Overview

What if everything you thought you knew about relationships was just... one option? Join Kristen as she sits down with Dr. Rachael Meir, a clinical psychologist who's been helping people navigate the beautiful complexity of ethical non-monogamy for over two decades. From her own journey into a polyamorous triad to the nitty-gritty of managing three people's deodorant preferences, Dr. Meir breaks down the real talk about love beyond the traditional box.

This isn't your typical relationship advice—it's a deep dive into how radical honesty, intentional communication, and knowing your "why" can transform not just your love life, but how you show up in your body and the world.

What You'll Learn

• The difference between ethical non-monogamy and cheating (spoiler: it's all about consent and communication)
• Why traditional monogamous couples could learn a thing or two from polyamorous communication strategies
• How big emotions like jealousy are actually signals worth exploring, not feelings to avoid
• The surprising ways relationship structures can impact your pelvic health and embodiment
• Why "knowing your why" is the most important conversation before opening any relationship
• Real talk about navigating societal judgment, family acceptance, and professional consequences

Episode Highlights

From Fantasy to Reality: Dr. Meir's Personal Journey

Dr. Meir opens up about her 25-year relationship with her husband Aaron and how they transitioned from the swinging lifestyle to forming a closed triad with their partner Casey. She shares the raw truth about moving in together during COVID, dealing with family death, and having "book club" meetings twice a week for two years to navigate their new dynamic.

Communication That Actually Works

Forget "we need to talk" conversations that go nowhere. Dr. Meir breaks down structured relationship check-ins with actual agenda items, action plans, and follow-ups. She explains how this level of intentional communication could revolutionize any relationship—whether you have one partner or five.

The Pelvic Floor Connection You Didn't See Coming

In a fascinating twist, Kristen and Dr. Meir explore how relationship dynamics directly impact pelvic health. From the liberation of consensual choice reducing "duty sex" tension to how unprocessed emotions create physical holding patterns, this conversation bridges the gap between emotional and physical wellbeing.

Navigating the "Zone of Chaos"

Dr. Meir doesn't sugarcoat the challenges. She talks honestly about societal stigma, family rejection, workplace fears, and the reality of living a "double life" for many people in non-monogamous relationships. But she also shares the beauty of finding chosen family and authentic community.

Medical Care in a Monogamous World

From emergency contact forms with only one line to birth certificates and hospital decisions, Dr. Meir reveals the practical legal and medical challenges facing non-monogamous families and the creative solutions they've developed.

Episode Chapters

00:00-10:00 : Introduction and Dr. Meir's Background
From clinical psychology to relationship coaching specializing in ethical non-monogamy

10:01-18:30 : Defining Ethical Non-Monogamy
The umbrella of options: swinging, open relationships, polyamory, and everything in between

18:31-25:45 : Communication Superpowers
How non-monogamous relationships demand next-level communication skills—and why monogamous couples need them too

25:46-32:20 : The Practical Stuff Nobody Talks About
Shared calendars, sleeping arrangements, and yes, where the deodorant lives

32:21-38:15 : Dr. Meir's Triad Journey
The real story of meeting Casey, moving during COVID, and building a life together

38:16-44:30 : Overcoming Barriers and Stigma
Dealing with family reactions, workplace concerns, and societal judgment

44:31-48:45 : The Mind-Body Connection
How relationship dynamics impact pelvic health, sexual empowerment, and physical embodiment

48:46-52:00 : Know Your Why
The essential first step for anyone considering non-monogamy

52:01-55:30 : Resources and Wrapping Up
Books, communities, and next steps for curious listeners

Connect with Dr. Rachael Meir

Website: drrachaelmeir.com
Instagram: @drrachaelmeircoaching
Facebook: @drrachaelmeircoaching
LinkedIn: Dr. Rachael Meir Coaching
YouTube: @drrachaelmeircoaching
Triad Instagram: @triadandtrue

Book: 50 Questions to Ask Before Opening Your Relationship (available for pre-order)

Dr. Meir's Recommended Resources

Essential Reading: Martha Kauppi's Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists and Their Clients—packed with relationship wisdom that applies to any partnership structure

Communities: Search Facebook groups, local meetups, and munches for ethical non-monogamy to connect with like-minded people and learn from diverse experiences

Connect with The Hole Shebang

Instagram: @blueberrytherapypelvichealth
Website: blueberrytherapy.ca

Upcoming Events

The Pleasure Principle Conference
May 8th, 2026
Join us for a groundbreaking event featuring distinguished healthcare professionals exploring the intersection of health, pleasure, and wellbeing.

Dr. Meir's Theme Song

"Be Who You Are" by Michael Franti—because authenticity isn't just a buzzword, it's a way of life.

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Ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about love and relationships? This episode isn't just about non-monogamy—it's about the courage to live authentically, communicate with radical honesty, and create the relationships that actually serve you.

Subscribe to The Hole Shebang Podcast for more conversations that break taboos and change lives.