On today’s episode, Toshi had a conversation with David Jay, who is the founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education network, which is the world’s largest online asexual community. Together, they had a conversation about the experience of being asexual and the expectations that society has around sexuality, as well as how David has redefined relationships and intimacy as an asexual person. They also discussed three-parent families and the importance of building a community of care, and finished the conversation talking about why conflict is actually a really good thing.

Find AVEN (Asexuality Visibility and Education Network) here:

https://www.asexuality.org/en/ 

Find David's book, Relationality: How Moving from Transactional to Transformational Relationships Can Reshape Our Lonely World, here:

https://amzn.asia/d/f7Z2uVq 

Timestamps:  

00:00 – Intro 

01:26 – What does it mean to be asexual, or ‘ace’?  

03:26 – What is compulsory sexuality? 

04:39 – David’s experience as a young ace person 

06:32 – How society has different sexual expectations for different bodies 

08:15 – The impact of asexuality on how David sees relationships and intimacy 

11:12 – The benefits of having intentional friendships 

13:33 – Why you should be thinking about creating a community of care 

16:35 – What it’s like to be in a three-parent family 

19:44 – Two things you can learn from this podcast 

23:01 – Advice if you want to be more intentional in your friendships 

24:24 – Why being asexual is so liberating 

26:39 – What David would have wanted his younger self to know 

28:20 – How the ace community has changed over time  

33:04 – Why relationships with others are so important 

37:19 – Why conflict is a really good thing 

39:34 – David’s message to ace listeners 

40:43 – Conclusion 

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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. 

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