In episode 4 I told you guys how I had been working on a free course I had created and then authenticity slapped me in the face and punched me in the stomach. Well I’ve learned even more from doing that one project that I wanted to share.

So I’ve been working on it more and I’m pretty sure I have rewritten it about 3 times now. I just keep on thinking of things and when I’m reading the finished draft it just still doesn’t sound quite right. It’s just been quite the process and the other morning I was feeling pretty defeated like I was failing and maybe I just wasn’t meant to do this.

So I stopped working, changed my clothes and started working out. I really like to exercise every day, it makes me happy and this last year I’ve been focusing on getting strong instead of just loosing weight. I just work out from home so I’m not throwing around big giant weights but I’m making due with 20s being my heaviest. And each workout I try to focus on a muscle group and then work it to muscle failure.

So I’m lifting these weights and I’m starting to really struggle. At first it wasn’t too hard, I was feeling pretty good. But man, by the end of the second round of the exercises I was really sweating and I’m huffing and puffing. I guess I was clearly showing the struggle in my face because my 5 year old, Emma started asking me why I exercise if its so hard.

I was so excited because I love when they ask me and I get to teach them about taking care of our bodies and being strong women. So I got all happy and answered saying that the harder it is for me to do, the stronger I’ll get. And if I keep going then one day I’ll be really good at it and it won’t be hard anymore. 

Being 5 of course she just gave an “oh cool” shrugged her shoulders a little bit and was on her merry little way, but I was feeling so proud of myself for planting that seed and teaching her that pushing through the hard makes us stronger. So I’m back up standing already working on the next exercise, feeling so good, had a little pep in my step. And then I realize. Uhhh, Michelle, you want to say that one more time and just look in the mirror?

Emma clearly didn’t internalize the lesson. It’s not like that 20 seconds forever shaped her life and now she will never back down from anything hard. I’d be very surprised if she could even tell me the lesson, and it was just a few days ago. But I had a very distinct thought that if I wanted her to learn and know that lesson, then I needed to LIVE it.

Talking the talk was only going to get so far, and I really really want my girls to be strong women. I want them to know that they are capable and can do anything. I don’t want them to ever feel the pains I have felt because of situational and self imposed limitations.  So I finished my workout strong, and now it’s time to work again and I am fighting those negative thoughts. I’m pushing those inadequacies.  And you know what? I’m on the 5th rewrite but I think I’ve actually got it this time! My course creation, and even just writing muscles are getting stronger! I’m really excited about it.

I do think the BEST part of this whole lesson learned was when that night Austin and I were watching an episode of the Office and it was when Michael Scott started his own paper company, and they had done a pancake breakfast to get some new customers and during the pancake breakfast Michael and Ryan were goofing off but Pam actually talked to a guy who came, gave him the companies information and then later that day made the companies first sale! And then they cut to a scene with Michael relaxed in his chair and he says, “who would have thought that the thing to save this business would be hard work”

I just started DYING! Because it seems like such a big “well duh” when you hear him say it like that, but in the moment it’s hard. It’s so much easier to back away from the hard, just avoid it and do all the fun stuff. But that’s not what gets real success. That’s not what saves companies.

That’s all I have for you today. Hopefully that helps someone keep pushing and just don’t be too hard on yourself when you aren’t super awesome at every aspect of your business! You’re not a failure, you just need to strengthen the muscle! So keep pushing yourself, get every last bit you can out of that weak skill, and you’ll get better. I can tell it’s happening for me

Until next time! You’ve got this!

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