How do we best support our ADHD kids with explosive behaviour?

In this episode of All Aboard ADHD, Claire is joined by expert guest Sarah Ockwell-Smith to discuss ADHD and explosive behaviours. 

Sarah is a well-known parenting expert and author who writes about the psychology and science of parenting. She specialises in gentle parenting - a movement she is often credited as founding - and “childism”, which is the unconscious discrimination of children in society. Sarah is the mother of four young adults, including a son with ADHD. She has ADHD and autism herself. 

Her latest book, "Raising Attention" is a compassionate, evidence-informed, and deeply personal guide for anybody who has or works with children with ADHD and explosive behaviours.

Sarah begins by defining the term ‘explosive behavior’, which can be anything from verbal aggression to physical actions, and how it relates to ADHD. She describes what drives explosive behaviour and what is going on for children on the inside in those moments. Whilst not all children with ADHD exhibit explosive behavior, and the term is not limited to children with ADHD, it can pose significant challenges, particularly at school. 

Claire and Sarah discuss the term ‘naughty’ and how it can keep children stuck in the "cycle of shame," where they feel useless and shamed, leading to more explosive behavior. Sarah also provides a challenge to the ethos of “all behaviour is communication”, highlighting the role of brain development as another potential driver of children’s behaviour, preferring to say "all behaviour has a reason".

They go on to discuss the challenges of parenting and the importance of focusing on the child's well-being and long-term development, rather than compliance. Sarah provides some insight into the benefits of understanding your child’s triggers and capabilities. She also shares some practical strategies for parents to help them manage tricky situations, particularly when out in public, along with the importance of repairing and reconnecting with your child after a meltdown.

Finally, Sarah shares her viewpoint on how schools can better support children with ADHD. Whilst many teachers understand the needs of neurodivergent children they are often limited by the educational system itself. 

Sarah encourages parents to celebrate small successes with their ADHD kids and to accept them as they are, rather than trying to change them.

If you are looking for practical strategies to better support your ADHD child with explosive behaviour, this episode is a must-listen!

You can order a copy of Sarah’s brand new book “Raising Attention” (release date 3rd July 2025):https://amzn.eu/d/0iAyXhz

To find out more about Sarah and her work:

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/

To follow Sarah on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/sarahockwellsmith

The views shared in this episode are those of the guest, based on their professional expertise and/or personal experience. This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, educational, or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personalised support relevant to your individual circumstances.