Digest

Brittany Loose interviews writer Carvelle Wallace about his new book, "Another Word for Love." Wallace explores the concept of "Found Wallet Syndrome," a perspective shift that allows individuals to find gratitude in everyday life. He discusses his own journey of recovery from alcoholism, substance abuse, and a difficult childhood, emphasizing the importance of healing and changing perspectives. Wallace also shares his experiences with parenthood and the joy it brings, reflecting on his own childhood and the impact of love on a child's development. He delves into the complexities of his evolving relationship with his ex-wife, highlighting the importance of communication and understanding in navigating separation. Wallace emphasizes the transformative power of embracing queerness, discussing how it allows for more fluid and authentic relationships. He also explores the complexities of sex and its potential for both hurt and healing, emphasizing the importance of care and connection in sexual intimacy. The episode concludes with a discussion on the fragility of life and the importance of recognizing our own humanity, leading to a deeper understanding of love and care for others.

Outlines

00:00:00

Dignity Memorial Advertisement

This Chapter is an advertisement for Dignity Memorial, a company that provides funeral and memorial services. The advertisement emphasizes the importance of pre-paid funeral arrangements and the peace of mind it provides for families.

00:00:19

Introduction and Guest Introduction

This Chapter introduces the podcast, "It's Been a Minute," and its host, Brittany Loose. The episode's guest, writer Carvelle Wallace, is introduced, and his new book, "Another Word for Love," is mentioned. The book explores the complexities of love and recovery from trauma.

00:00:40

Found Wallet Syndrome and Perspective Shifts

This Chapter delves into the concept of "Found Wallet Syndrome," a perspective shift that allows individuals to find gratitude in everyday life. Carvelle Wallace shares his personal experiences with this phenomenon and how it has impacted his outlook on life.

00:11:47

Sex, Trauma, and Healing

This Chapter explores the complexities of sex and its potential for both hurt and healing. Carvelle Wallace discusses how sex can be a site of both trauma and recovery, emphasizing the importance of care, connection, and authenticity in sexual intimacy.

Keywords

Q&A

• What is "Found Wallet Syndrome" and how does it relate to recovery?

  Found Wallet Syndrome is a perspective shift that allows individuals to find gratitude in everyday life. It's like finding a wallet with money in it and feeling like you've been gifted something. This perspective can help individuals appreciate the mundane aspects of life and cultivate a sense of gratitude. In the context of recovery, it can help individuals shift their focus from past trauma to the present moment and find joy in the simple things.

• How does Carvelle Wallace's experience with parenthood inform his understanding of love and recovery?

  Wallace's experience with parenthood has helped him understand that it's possible for people to feel loved and cared for, even if they didn't experience that in their own childhood. It also makes him consider why he didn't feel loved growing up and the importance of helping children feel loved. This understanding informs his perspective on love and recovery, emphasizing the importance of creating a loving and supportive environment for children.

• What are some of the key lessons Carvelle Wallace learned about relationships and recovery?

  Wallace learned that genuine love can exist even in challenging relationships. He also learned the importance of communication and understanding in navigating separation and the need to process emotions with someone other than the person involved. He emphasizes the importance of healing and changing perspectives in order to move forward in a healthy way.

• How does embracing queerness contribute to a more fulfilling life, according to Carvelle Wallace?

  Wallace believes that embracing queerness allows for more fluid and authentic relationships, challenging the traditional heteronormative expectations of relationships. It allows individuals to express themselves freely and build relationships based on genuine connection. This freedom and authenticity can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

• What is Carvelle Wallace's perspective on sex and its potential for healing?

  Wallace acknowledges that sex can be a site of both hurt and healing. He believes that sexual intimacy under circumstances of authenticity, care, and connection can be transformative and contribute to overall well-being. However, he also recognizes the potential for abuse and emphasizes the importance of treating sex with care and respect.

• Why does Carvelle Wallace believe that recognizing our own fragility is a good thing?

  Wallace believes that recognizing our own fragility can lead to a deeper understanding of love and care for others. It reminds us that we are all interconnected and that our actions have an impact on others. This understanding can foster a sense of responsibility and compassion, leading to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.

• What is the main takeaway from Carvelle Wallace's conversation with Brittany Loose?

  The main takeaway is that love and recovery are complex and multifaceted processes that require a willingness to change perspectives, embrace vulnerability, and cultivate genuine connection with others. It emphasizes the importance of healing from trauma, finding gratitude in everyday life, and building relationships based on authenticity and care.

Show Notes