In this episode, hosts Odette Mould and Sophia Giblin discuss the importance of including children in decision-making throughout their grief journey, starting as early as the funeral or ritual of saying goodbye. 

Losing a loved one is hard enough as an adult, but it’s especially hard for children, who don’t have a solid grasp of the concepts of death and grief. They are entering a new world where they have to live without someone precious to them and all the complicated emotions it brings. Including them in the decision-making process gives them a sense of control - which is something that they typically want, but find difficult to express.

One thing we need to understand is the way children grieve - it’s difficult for them to be experiencing those complex feelings all the time, so they will jump in and out of them by proceeding with business as usual. Whether it’s going back to school or extra-curricular activities, they hold onto normalcy as tightly as they can, because normalcy is where they have control.

When involving children in decision-making, you must consider the fact that too many choices could overwhelm them, especially if they are open-ended. It’s safe to give them two choices if they’re very young, and three or more if they’re older. 

Key Takeaways:

• Just like adults, children also want to feel a sense of control when grieving.
• Letting your child go back to school after losing a loved one may actually help them - it gives them a sense of normalcy and control.
• Too many choices can overwhelm children - stick to two if they’re very young, and three or more if they’re older.

Resources

• Harry’s Rainbow
• Odette Mould on LinkedIn
• Sophia Giblin on LinkedIn 

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