Do you approach your relationships as a host or a guest? We can improve our ability to connect with others. And the attitude that helps is to think of yourself as the host or hostess rather than the guest. Or, in more biblical terms, as one who serves rather than one who is served.



Think about your daily interactions with other people—at work, at home, or church, wherever. Are you a host or a guest? For example, do you initiate the phone call that needs to be made, or do you wait for the other person to call? When you’re in a group, do you introduce yourself to someone new or wait for them to introduce themselves first? When someone seems puzzled or confused, do you offer help?



Maybe you’re thinking you can’t be the host or hostess because you’re shy or introverted. I want to encourage you to give it a try. It may take you out of your comfort zone temporarily, but once you take that first step to “host” your relationships, you’ll see it really isn’t that scary, and before long you will be comfortable doing it. It will surprise you to see the positive reactions you receive, and you’ll feel very good about connecting with others in more meaningful ways.



One of the reasons we hesitate to take the role of host or hostess in relationships is because we fear what others will think of us. I find when I am more concerned about how I will appear to others than I am about trying to connect with them, it’s because I am far too self-focused. I have to stop and remind myself it’s not all about me. I can assure you if you reach out to others in an attempt to connect in a better, more loving way, you will rarely make a fool of yourself. And so, what if you do? Does the world stop revolving? Does God stop loving you? We just have to get over our intense self-absorption.



Or maybe you hesitate to connect with others because it just takes too much effort. I know sometimes I just want to people-out—just have a quiet moment to myself. At those times I just simply make myself become interested in whoever it is around me—someone who just may need a listening ear, a kind word, a smile to encourage them or lift their burden True, it does take effort and time, but the fruit of that effort is very rewarding.



I hope you’ll consider your responsibility to be a host or hostess with the people in your life, rather than playing the role of the guest. It makes life so much richer and fulfills our God-given responsibility to do unto others as we would want them to do to us.