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If you’re hoping your partner will “change” once they fall more in love, get married, or become more committed, you’re not seeing the real person in front of you. You’re falling in love with their potential, and that illusion can quietly destroy intimacy and long-term trust.

In this video, Thais Gibson breaks down five powerful reasons why dating or marrying for potential leads to emotional disconnection and unmet needs. You’ll learn how to stop confusing fantasy with reality and build a relationship based on truth, acceptance, and emotional safety.

You’ll learn:

✅ Why loving someone’s potential disconnects you from true intimacy

✅ How projecting an ideal version of your partner creates emotional walls

✅ Why “helping them change” often feels like pressure, not love

✅ How to communicate your needs without blame or shame

✅ What the power struggle stage really means — and how to grow beyond it

Episode Breakdown: 

00:00 – Are You Expecting to Change Your Partner?  

00:46 – 1. You Are Seeing a Fantasy of the Person, Not the Person’s Reality

02:24 – 2. Hoping Somebody Changes Creates a Silent Pressure in the Relationship

03:46 – 3. Learn to Communicate Through Conflict in a Way That is Accepting of Others

05:35 – Ending Codependency Course Promo

06:09 – 4. Dating the Potential or Expectation of Somebody Ends Up Blocking Intimacy

07:40 – 5. Connecting With the Fantasy Keeps You From Building a Proper Foundation

08:26 – How is This Meeting A Need in Your Life?

09:13 – Summary of Building Healthy Relationships

Meet the Host

Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

Helpful Resources:

🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz

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📚 Read the Learning Love Book

https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=podcast

🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes

https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1

📝 Read the PDS Blog

https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/

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