When we explain to our partners and families that we need them to pitch in around the house, we sometimes hear back that the real problem is our too-high standards. That if we actually think "doing the laundry" means FOLDING the laundry, instead of leaving it in the dryer, that that is just too high a bar.

Eve Rodsky, author of FAIR PLAY, suggests that partners establish a "minimum standard of care" for household duties. But how does that get set? And is that really all it takes?

In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

• How to use "community standards" to determine minimum standards of care


• The tired old idea that women have impossible standards


• Why it might be your system that's the problem, and not your partner

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

• Sheila Wray Gregoire for Bare Marriage: EMOTIONAL LABOR SERIES: HOW DO WE DECIDE WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE?
  


• Listen to our Fresh Take with Eve Rodsky


• Eve Rodsky's FAIR PLAY: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943
  


• Leslie Goldman for The Cut: The Marriages Hanging On by a $19 Deck of Cards
  


• Buy Lyz Lenz's book THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127
  

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