DiscoverAsk A Sex Therapist with Heather ShannonEP. 126 Why You’re Distracted During Sex—And How Mindfulness Can Help.
EP. 126 Why You’re Distracted During Sex—And How Mindfulness Can Help.

EP. 126 Why You’re Distracted During Sex—And How Mindfulness Can Help.

Update: 2025-04-14
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Apply for a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call to learn about Heather’s Pathway to Passion coaching method. https://heathershannon.co/new-clients/

Mindfulness, Presence & Pleasure: A Conversation with Naomi Rawitz

In this episode, Heather is joined by fellow AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and Sexuality Educator Naomi Rawitz, LCSW, CST, CSE, for a warm, honest, and deeply insightful conversation around the role of mindfulness in sex.

Naomi opens up about her journey into sex therapy, how her upbringing shaped her perspective, and why our culture makes it so difficult to stay present in our bodies. Together, they explore the real reasons we get distracted during sex, how internal “parts” (à la Internal Family Systems therapy) can hijack our pleasure, and why mindfulness doesn’t mean you have to “clear your mind.”

 

Whether you’ve ever felt pressured to perform, overwhelmed with distractions, or just curious about how to deepen your connection to yourself or a partner—this episode offers practical tools, validating insights, and a ton of “aha” moments.

 

00:00 Welcome & Intro to Naomi

02:00 Naomi’s Path to Becoming a Sex Therapist

04:00 Growing Up with Open Sex Education

05:00 Presence, Distraction & the Sexual Mindset

09:00 How Mindfulness Actually Works (It’s Not “Clearing Your Mind”)

12:00 Communicating with Your Partner About Where You're At

14:00 Mindfulness, Emotional Intimacy & Data Points

17:00 What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?

19:00 Common Parts That Show Up During Sex

23:00 Productivity, Energy, and “Sex as a To-Do”

26:00 Reconnecting with Play & Joy (Yes, Improv Counts!)

30:00 Expanding Definitions of Sexual Touch

33:00 The Pressure to “Go All the Way”

34:00 How Stories and Anticipation Impact Desire

38:00 Polyvagal Theory & Shifting Nervous System States

41:00 Creating Space to Explore Without Judgment

43:00 Where to Find Naomi

WORK WITH HEATHER

Apply for a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call to learn about Heather’s Pathway to Passion coaching method. https://heathershannon.co/new-clients/  

LET’S CONNECT! Find warmth HERE ⤵️:


Heather’s Website: https://HeatherShannon.co 


Heather’s Instagram: https://instagram.com/AskASexTherapist 


Heather’s YouTube: Check out the video version of this podcast & more! - https://www.youtube.com/@AskASexCoach  


Heather’s Pathway to Passion: https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/pathway 


Heather’s Courses: https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/store


Heather’s Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/heathershannonlcpc 


Connect with Naomi Rawitz

naomi@rawitzcounseling.com

Learn more: https://www.rawitzcounseling.com


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EP. 126 Why You’re Distracted During Sex—And How Mindfulness Can Help.

EP. 126 Why You’re Distracted During Sex—And How Mindfulness Can Help.