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What does it mean to grieve the mother-daughter relationship we’ll never have? 

Growing up, we all have an image of what a mother should be — nurturing, loving, and a source of unwavering support. Yet, for many, this ideal remains just that: an ideal. Instead, reality can be far from it, leaving a void that shapes our lives in profound ways. As children, we instinctively seek comfort, guidance, and affirmation from our mothers. However, when these foundational needs go unmet, it sets the stage for a journey marked by longing, introspection, and ultimately, grieving the absence of the mother we never had.

Many of us hold onto the hope that our mothers will change, but in reality, trying to get her to be different only hurts us more. It prevents us from truly healing. Grieving this loss is hard, but it’s necessary. It’s like opening a door to a new life where you can find more love and peace. This process involves acknowledging and feeling your emotions, taking care of yourself, and finding freedom in acceptance. Remember, this journey is about healing your relationship with yourself, not just with your mother.

In this episode, I will guide you on the journey of grieving the mother you'll never have and finding solace in nurturing your own unmet needs. 

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00 ) Episode Snippet

(00:01:54 ) Grief doesn't have a fixed timeline

(00:03:00 ) Moving past the shame response

(00:05:34 ) Show up for yourself

(00:07:44 ) Finding freedom in focusing on oneself

(00:09:20 ) The true role of mothers

(00:11:19 ) How does forgiveness play into grieving the mother that we'll never have?

(00:14:12 ) Accepting your mother’s limitations

(00:16:41 ) Build a healthy relationship with yourself

(00:19:07 ) Build a support system around you

(00:20:58 ) Hold yourself in high regard

(00:22:48 ) Move beyond manipulation

(00:24:30 ) Be easy with yourself

Key Takeaways: 

“When you can grieve the mother you've never had, you can also grieve the person you've pretended to be. From there you can begin to live authentically. – Jennifer Arnise

“The grieving process is like a birthing ground for something else to come.”– Jennifer Arnise

“The hardest pill you're ever going to swallow is the acceptance that you were treated poorly, neglected, abused.”– Jennifer Arnise

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

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