Ep 143- TFQ goes GoT on Sn 7 Premiere Day! MLB ASG, NBA Rule Changes. Initialisms!

Listen to the podcast here; also available on iTunes

Recorded Sunday, July 16, 2017

Hosts: Count Yorga & Jerkules

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Make sure you check out the All In Sports Talk Network, where you can find in depth soccer analysis with a focus on Toronto FC and Liverpool FC.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I’m trying a bit of a different approach to the posts for the TFQ Podcast, in hopes that you pricks will read it as well as listen to the episode. I bet you’re reading it now, aren’t you? Good. You’ll find that I’m giving you different content here to summarize the episode.

“Somebody gon’ die TONIGHT!”

This is one of the core sentiments throughout this magnificent, award-nominated* episode of everyone’s favourite podcast.^ No, we aren’t referring to a key line from Despicable Me 2, although one YouTube user might feel otherwise:

Image quality due to having to take a picture of my laptop’s screen…isn’t there a way to view comments on my iPhone? Help me – I’m old and I drink!

That’s right – we’re talking about the HBO hit series Game of Thrones because this episode is recorded earlier on the day of the Season 7 premiere! Hooowee! And for sure somebody’s going down tonight!

We should give you a SPOILER ALERT warning right off the bat, because for our last segment, Game of Jones, we pair off sports figures with their “corresponding” GoT character. It’s fun. Believe that.

*- Awards won by the TFQ Podcast: 0

^- Percentage of listenership for whom the TFQ Podcast is their favourite podcast: 0

There’s tennis, baseball, b-ball – all sorts of fun shit to dissect while we ingest some drugs and I toss back that there gin.

In the early going, I draw attention to a fun piece by Shea Serrano of The Ringer about Andre Roberson, and how shitty he is at free throws – especially given his wage earnings.

But before anything anywhere can continue further, we have to call attention to a photo Count Yorga found – one that blows our feeble minds, and you can find it in our final segment for this post – Here’s Thumbing at You.

David Michael Hasselhoff. He’s Michael Knight. He’s Mitch Buchannon. He’s a music god in Germany. He’s the leader of our annual NFL Shitwatch. In two words, he’s everything.* Fuck it – here’s the pic you’ll find at the end.

*- Should the “he’s” count as a word? I say yes. But only one word – even though he’s” is a contraction of two words.

You see what I mean about the everything?

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Hof’s birthday falls the day after recording this episode. Ergo, Episode 144: The Hof Tribute Episode!

The success Hasselhof enjoys in Germany reminds me of how John Tesh somehow carved out a similar niche in Japan… And, as Yorga recalls, spins a yarn about how he left his initial idea for the old NBA theme song as a voice message on his home answering machine – Tesh, not Yorga. Hard to believe that he balls-tone-voiced Tesh composed the old NBA theme song? Well, feat your eyes and ears on this baby. Tesh’s voice mail – played live during the performance – and his onstage energy are something to behold…like if you think Olive Garden is something to behold in terms of Italian cuisine. Shout-out to vests with mandarin collars!

I love how, at the end of the performance, Tesh is all physically taxed and appreciative of the audience, as though he were performing something on a level above a live concert for a video game score.

YOU WILL NEVER BE HASSELHOF, TESH! GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH THAT VEST – IT LOOKS RIBBED.

Bedshitter of the Week (12:10 )

We try (and often fail) every episode to anoint at least one person or team an award that goes to the biggest choke job, or soul-searing collapse in recent sports. This week it’s a shared distinction for two individuals who would have done Spud proud. First, we have Venus Williams, who promptly soiled her bed full when bowing out of Wimbledon this year. More on that in #PROPS & #DROPS. I also deserve a nod here, because…

Jesus, this Jerk(ules) again??

Episode 143 is Dedicated To (12:45 )

I fucked up and didn’t make a dedication. Sue me.* But last episode we paid homage to baseball great Derek Jeter, and here’s one of many sweet Jeter stats to whet your appetite. TRIVIA BOMB: Jeter is the only player in MLB history to amass 3,000 hits, 250 HR, 350 SB and 1,300 RBI in a career.

*- I suck.

To kick off the episode, we knock over a roach-filled ashtray! Ugh.

#PROPS & #DROPS (19:08 )

If you’ve already worked clicking on the fuckin websiiiiiiiiite into your routine, YOU’RE NOT DONE YET. Follow us on Twitter, where we will occasionally give a thumbs-up or –down ruling on something in the world of sports. We’ll hashtag that shit PROPS or DROPS, and then we’ll turn right around and set you all up with more of them in every episode. To wit:

I give #PROPS to…FOOTBALL!!! Yeeeaaaah!

Okay, maybe it’s a bit of withdrawal, but I pump out several sweet NFL-related TRIVIA BOMBs, several of which had me…Mullin things over, baby!

As Abe Simpson would say about Johnny Unitas, there’s a haircut you can set your watch to!

Count Yorga gives #PROPS to Roger Federer and Garbiñe Muguruza, winners of the men’s and women’s singles at Wimbledon this year. He also uses this occasion to elaborate on the bedshitting Venus Williams squirted down, losing the final in straight sets, while failing to win a single game in the second set.

Federer’s result played out on the opposite end of the spectrum, while the man continued to defy the diminishing expectations that come with aging. TRIVIA BOMB: Federer is the first men’s player to win Wimbledon without losing a single set since Bjorn Borg in 1976. Wow. That’s one hell of a way to add to your records of 9 Wimbledon titles and 19 major tournament victories.

I give – brace yourself – #PROPS to the L.A. Clippers. I know! Who knew? Maybe part of this #PROPS is because the NBA team I dislike the most has fragmented, with the Dick Puncher, Chris Paul, being traded to the Rockets, and J.J. Redick signing with the Sixers,* not to mention the one guy I do like, Jamal Crawford, heading for Minnesota. But one sure part of this #PROPS nod is for the Clip show making those moves while remaining a team of note in the Western Conference since their other decisions avoided a rebuilding, blow-up-the-roster phase. Sure, head coach Doc Rivers may have epically overpaid his son, PG Austin Rivers, but the logo – new front office exec Jerry West – has made a few good moves that keep his new team relevant.

*- Fuck Duke.

For starters, he retained the services of Blake Griffin, whose contract was up. Then, West replaced three-time Sixth Man of the Year Crawford with the man who won the award in 2015: Lou Williams. Sweet Lou must be glad to be back in Los Angeles after the Lakers traded him during last season. Some of you might remember <a href="http://tfquarter.com/2015/04/27/podcast-ep-54