Can you believe all this capitalist bs started with people butt-f*cking in the streets?! The original war on Xmas was forgetting to douche. Learn why Mistletoe is the ultimate f*ck herb, ways to brighten your holidays (and menses) with "God Semen," how Jesus is actually an Aries, the truth about Mary Magdalene, and the only time you should ever eat fruitcake. Can't believe it took me this long to go werewolf-truther, but here we are. Happy Yule, ya filthy pagans! 

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