Ep. 43: Why 90% of Networking Fails? 

Lindsay  00:00

I'm Lindsay Mustain and this is the career design podcast made for driven ambitious square pegs and round holes type professionals who see things differently and challenge the status quo. We obliterate obstacles and unlock hidden pathways to overcome and succeed where others have not stagnation feels like death. And we are unwilling to compromise our integrity and settle for being average in any way. We are the backbone of any successful business and those who overlook our potential are doomed to a slow demise. We do work that truly matters aligns with our purpose and in turn, we make our lasting mark on the world. We are the dreamers, doers, legends and visionaries who are called to make our most meaningful contribution and love what we do. 

Lindsay00:42
I just give you finger guns. It's Friday. Yeah. Friday, so those that are watching or watching on the replay. Happy Friday. We call this in my community. Happy FriYay. So yeah, it's been forever since I've hung out with you.

Abby  00:59

I know. I'm so excited. Welcome back.

Lindsay  01:01

You've been busy, busy. I gave you some work to do. Um, maybe you may not like me as much now.

Abby  01:09

Just a few things. It seems simple. And then you get into it. It's like, it's a lot 

Lindsay  01:14

The part here where it seems simple like it the thing is, we all kind of know, it's kind of like, um, yeah, we all know how to get to Florida, right? Like, for me, for me, that's very far southwest. So there's direction. But I don't know the turn by turn directions. Like that'll get me there. And that's kind of the the pathway that we're going through. So we're talking today, and I named this one, why 90% of networking fails. And this one, this one is really like it's near and dear to my heart, because it's the thing that you guys tell me is what you struggle with the most is networking. So I am so happy to be back. If you guys are joining me live, like give me a little shout out here. I have been to Florida, which is not that big a deal. Except that came back with COVID. So I finally have recovered from COVID, where I my kids are still having some after effects with sleeping. But I am at the point where I think the only thing I have left is a little bit of congestion. And then I can't smell it as well.Oh no, the taste it's longest to get that back like smell and taste, I think, well, I didn't lose it until about I got COVID too. And I'm working from home. So like thanks to my husband for bringing that back to me. But um, but yeah, I lost my taste and smell for like eight days straight, like no smell, no taste for eight days. But it happened after like, maybe a week, week and a half of having COVID.  OMG it's 10 later. Oh my gosh, that's craziness. Yeah, the that's how I knew I had it was like I was sitting here and I'm like, What is going on? I was eating and I tested at home, which, you know, like there's an incubation period. I just went home and it wasn't anything but I was thinking I'm like, I can't taste this. And I'm like, well, I took that test and yeah, I came back. Yeah. So not as fun as I would like to say it would be so we're talking about today about networking. And so the first thing I want to get into like why networking fails. Okay, so I'm just going to tell you, I'm not always captain obvious, but when I am I make it obvious. You know that networking is the secret to uplevel in your career. Okay, so stay with me, your network equals your net worth. Okay, now, I'm going to break down some of the things that happen. Why networking sucks. I mean, it sucks is the first 20 hours it's going to happen. Some people are getting bad networks. In fact, I had to call somebody out the other day on our comments, and they're like, Can I have a job and I go, you need to go look at the post. I just wrote about bad networking. Like, like you're doing it wrong. Okay, great.

Abby  03:46

Oh, boy, it sucks. Don't worry. 

Lindsay  03:49

It sucks for everybody bikes. Abbi, let me just ask you here in the time that we've been together, how and you've had some of these shifts beforehand, but how was the conversations changed?

Abby  03:59

Um, you know, I think I've just slowed them down a little bit. Um, I think that's for me the biggest change and it's not that I was not personable before but I think in in you even say like, it's kind of awkward at first to reach out to someone you don't know, because like, what do you say to them? Um, so for me, it's a little I'm sure we'll get into it. So I don't want to say too much ahead of time. But I'm just really like, understanding who I'm connecting with and why I'm connecting with them. And then directing my conversation based on those things and making sure that I'm not just saying, oh, this person looks interesting. Click Like, let's connect. But hey, like, mentioning something that drew me to them in the first place to start the conversation and just being like, a person of interest.

Lindsay  04:44

Sorry, did not mean that we're switching back a little bit here. But talk to me about that. You're having connections already having conversations because of the branding work that you're doing. Yeah, so those conversations, how are those going It's really what I want to know

Abby  04:56

Ggood um, so I mean, there's starting off a little slower, right? So and in some cases, I'm like getting a lot of organic requests myself coming in, which is cool. My views on my profile have increased a lot. My SSI has gone up. 

Lindsay  05:14

Yeah, social selling index for the wind, right, which shows up how much we shot inside the feed, and how well we're doing on branding ourselves. So that's really awesome. And I know that people, so I'm gonna tell you what it comes from the person who's here just working with Abby here, is people tell me how much they love her. And they're like, I've been following and I've been listening. I can't believe it, like, rock star you are. And so I'm guessing people watch, I won't say to you what your brand is face to face like they will or they won't, right. But most of the time, we have an impression like I don't go in. I'm like, I really like live. Okay, I'm gonna give you a bad example. I'm embarrassed to say I really like Olive Garden, fettuccine alfredo. So they don't know I'm a super fan. But that is my impression. Now however you feel about it. The other day if you guys if anybody here is loving fettuccine. Let's hear about it. We know, Rich says they love me. So inside of my community, they love. They love you. Like you haven't even interacted with a lot of these people. I want you to know, your brand is what we're trying to use. We're increasing your power position through. And then we're able to have conversations and what I mean by this talk about networking. So I want you to take networking, like do not feel icky. Like, oh,

Abby  06:29

Oh, yeah. It's so awkward.

Lindsay  06:35

It is awkward. I'm the most networked person. I know. I'm also the most outgoing person like that. I know. Like the idea of going to a networking event, I don't want to go people. I don't want to go. Alright, so give me a little feel here in the chat. If you understand what I'm saying. Like, I don't want to go I don't want to do this. Okay. And now this is where we come from, and I'm gonna look at you right in the eye. I'm gonna say, you can do hard things. You can do hard things. Okay. So the reason why the only way that you weren't going to move forward is because somebody helps you. Okay, stay with me. Somebody helps me. Somebody helps me. Yes, I know. Exactly. And so, by the way, Abby didn't ask for this. Like she This happened because of her brand. That's actually the secret here. And because I was impressed with what she wrote, I was like she is she is literally like untapped potential. Like, you know, like David came from, you know, he sculpted from a thing of marble, like, you know, I get that it's like key feeling I get that. And so I need you to reprogram the thought that How about friendship? How about a relationship and I was like, kind of get into weird things with people are like really? Like it is they're all relationships that I mean, I relationship, like, I was walking in here running, by the way, because I wanted to be nice. For this. I was not, by the way, um, and the takes care of the grounds here. He was like, Would you like some leaves? I was like, I don't and I don't have the the task of what's a pretty because we have so many in like that that's a relationship. So when I like I walked out, it's gonna sound ridiculous, silly thing. But I walked out in my hair got caught in a tree that were in my car. And I was like, oh, no, Bob, can you help me out? And you know what it was done in five minutes, that tree limb was trim? And I'm like, Why? Because I had a relationship. So just stay in the chat here for me. Relationship, okay, because then you'll understand what I'm talking about. So we're gonna stop thinking about, like, who can get me something? And I want you to think about how do I build friendships and relationships? And this is where people are like, well, nobody wants to do that. So let me give you a little truth bomb here. People are the most isolated and the most efficient on the hormone inside of our brain that friendship Kindles, so let me tell you that we are looking for friends. How many of you would like a friend? Hi, by the wa