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Ep71 Gossip at the Corpse Cart
Update: 2024-11-18
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This month, Christine Schiefer of And That’s Why We Drink joins the gals for a chat about a real-life Coffin Flop, ill-conceived holiday candles, bad Honey, hot priests, a horrific oven death, and its polar opposite. Tune in for November’s Gossip at the Corpse Cart!
For a full list of show sponsors, visit https://wineandcrimepodcast.com/sponsors
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Transcript
00:00:00
Gossip at the Corpse Cart contains graphic and explicit content that may not be suitable for some listeners.
00:00:06
Hello,
00:00:24
and welcome back to Gossip at the Corpse Cart Gag, where Amanda and I welcome a very special guest to talk about some weird shit you've seen in the news,
00:00:38
some of the worst things that you've ever done, and get a new fear or two.
00:00:47
And we have a very special guest joining us today.
00:00:51
Welcome to the stage, Christine Sheeper!
00:00:55
Hello!
00:00:56
Oh my, hold on, let me do my little bow, okay, oh, I hear them screaming on-core, on-core, I know.
00:01:06
Wow.
00:01:07
I love an on-core at the top of an episode, you know.
00:01:09
I know.
00:01:10
Right away.
00:01:11
I'm sorry, I haven't done anything yet.
00:01:12
Right away.
00:01:13
Thank you for having me, I, it's so funny when, so my brother did an episode with you guys and he just went on and on about how fun it was, and then M was like, oh, I just did an episode, like a couple of months ago,
00:01:23
and I thought, oh, that's weird, I would really love to do, and maybe they're like mad at me or something, and then I, like, scrolled back through my text and I was like, oh, I just actively avoided a man, by accident, but I'm just so bad at my phone that I was like,
00:01:36
maybe they hate me now, anyway, and then we didn't hear back from you, and we were both like, maybe she's losing us, and now I've just created a problem that didn't exist.
00:01:47
Yeah.
00:01:48
No, this happens, I do this all the time.
00:01:51
I'm such a bad textur.
00:01:53
It's bad.
00:01:54
Overwhelmed, I have like 500,000 group chats, I just closed my phone and I'm like, well, now I don't need to think about it, you know?
00:02:00
Yeah.
00:02:01
Yeah.
00:02:02
Sorry, I took emotional offense when none was intended, and then I, in turn, ignored you by accident.
00:02:08
Listen, first file projected, and now we have, first fake fight that no one was actually upset at all.
00:02:14
We should put that in the tabloid, you know?
00:02:16
Okay.
00:02:17
Yeah.
00:02:18
Can we sell that story to, what is it?
00:02:20
Page six.
00:02:21
Page six.
00:02:22
Yeah, we need a lot of online stuff, we need more podcast tabloids, and I'm like, I think I'm just wants to be on a magazine, but I'm like, I don't know,
00:02:32
I mean, I'd love to read it.
00:02:35
I don't know if there'd be a big audience for that.
00:02:36
I'm should be like the new Perez Hilton.
00:02:39
The podcast.
00:02:40
Perez Hilton.
00:02:41
The podcast.
00:02:42
Perez Hilton.
00:02:43
The on-problematic podcast, Perez Hilton, and would thrive in that role.
00:02:48
I feel like we don't really need podcast tabloids because Reddit exists.
00:02:52
I was going to say that already exists, exactly.
00:02:55
It's on Reddit.
00:02:56
Yeah.
00:02:57
So, y'all just go to Reddit.
00:02:58
Yeah, it talks like enough over there.
00:03:00
Oh, there.
00:03:01
I, you know I'm on Reddit.
00:03:02
We're all guilty of scrolling through there every now and then and going, oh my god.
00:03:04
Every now and then, every night, that's part of my bedtime routine.
00:03:08
I had to, I had to stop, same with the text, I just have to put my phone down, I'm like, I can't do this.
00:03:13
All over the love is blind, subreddit last night, after watching the season seven reunion.
00:03:19
You got it.
00:03:20
It's like everybody becomes like the biggest internet sleuth all of a sudden.
00:03:23
Everyone's just digging.
00:03:25
I have my thoughts, but anyway, we don't need to share all of those now, but you can text me and I will probably not respond.
00:03:33
Okay, excellent.
00:03:34
And then I'll be mad at you and you'll be mad at me.
00:03:35
It'll be great.
00:03:36
That's perfect.
00:03:37
I love this relationship.
00:03:38
Oh, healthy.
00:03:39
So welcome, thank you so much for joining us, thank you guys, I can't wait.
00:03:45
We've got a heck of a show coming up, Christine is going to cold read some insane confessions and I can't wait to get to that, but first, we have some crazy headlines from Amanda.
00:03:57
Mm hmm.
00:03:58
Care to take it away.
00:03:59
Yeah, my section today is pure chaos, it's all over the place.
00:04:06
I couldn't help myself.
00:04:09
We're just going to dive in.
00:04:10
We're going to start with an update on the shrimp heist, sorry, if we recall like 50,000 something pounds of frozen shrimp on root to a Costco was hijacked and stolen.
00:04:26
This is Andy's episode, yes, clearly I haven't listened to it, which I, that's on me.
00:04:31
I shouldn't done my research.
00:04:33
That's fine.
00:04:34
Someone just stole a fuck ton of frozen shrimp.
00:04:36
You're like, what are you going to fucking do with that?
00:04:39
How are you going to make money off this?
00:04:41
And now there's a, right, and they're frozen, so it's like the clock is ticking, the clock is ticking.
00:04:46
Oh, shit.
00:04:47
Okay.
00:04:48
We have an email real bad, too.
00:04:49
It's going to reek.
00:04:50
And where are you going to like casually offload slash, like, launder, right, it's not the most subtle.
00:04:56
Uh, frozen side shrimp, there's an update though.
00:05:00
There is an update.
00:05:02
This is an article from seafoodsource.com.
00:05:04
They're finally having their big moment.
00:05:07
They really are.
00:05:08
I don't think that website has gotten as many clicks ever, except for so much traffic, so much.
00:05:14
So happy for the sites down the cookies are going to the SEO is out of control.
00:05:21
I want older man is in charge of the website maintenance is like, ah, it's like, I don't know.
00:05:29
I'm out of my depth.
00:05:30
Get it depth.
00:05:31
Same guy maintaining the heaven's gate call to say it's like one of those old angel fire websites that haven't gave you, angel fire or IP.
00:05:41
No one heard my joke.
00:05:42
That's okay.
00:05:43
Well, some people that listen are millennials, so someone will get that joke.
00:05:48
I missed the joke.
00:05:49
What's the joke?
00:05:50
No, neither have you heard my joke.
00:05:52
Oh, I thought you were talking about the angel fire joke.
00:05:53
What did you say?
00:05:54
Did you hear my joke?
00:05:55
I thought it made it was just like, Lucy, there's no time for your joke.
00:05:58
No.
00:05:59
That's usually how it happened.
00:06:00
Okay, back it up.
00:06:03
What was your joke?
00:06:04
It's not funny anymore.
00:06:05
I know now we're forcing you to say the website maintenance guy was like, I'm out of my depth because it's a seafood.
00:06:13
Seafood.
00:06:14
Oh my god.
00:06:15
Okay, wait.
00:06:16
Okay, I did hear it.
00:06:17
I just didn't hear it.
00:06:18
Correction.
00:06:19
I also did hear it.
00:06:20
So sorry, let's see.
00:06:21
We just didn't get it.
00:06:22
We are not.
00:06:23
Oh, that joke.
00:06:24
Okay.
00:06:25
Oh, that.
00:06:26
Got it.
00:06:27
Well, I've started this episode really on a fine note.
00:06:34
What a pun.
00:06:35
You're nailing it.
00:06:36
All right.
00:06:37
Well, here we go.
00:06:38
Crime ring responsible for USC food thefts busted.
00:06:42
New Jersey State Police arrested four men.
00:06:45
They say are responsible for the theft of $305,000 worth of shrimp bound for a New Jersey Costco outlet.
00:06:55
And JSP New Jersey State Police arrested four men from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
00:07:00
New Jersey Seafood Police looks like someone took the slow train from Philly, anybody watching the office as part of Operation Beef Bandit and organized criminal ring responsible for a series of nine burglaries at service areas along the Jersey turn fight.
00:07:20
That is the classiest thing I've ever had.
00:07:32
It's on the turn, Pike boys, Philly, Jersey, Chip, Beef, Seafood, it's all it's all perfect.
00:07:37
It's like, this is divine.
00:07:38
I couldn't have been written that unbelievable.
00:07:41
I feel real.
00:07:42
Yeah.
00:07:43
It's like reality.
00:07:44
Stranger than fiction.
00:07:45
I don't know if my brother mentioned this when he was on, but I'm assuming he did.
00:07:48
But he goes to a Costco in New Jersey for his, his meds.
00:07:51
Maybe he didn't bring this up, but he goes to his specific Costco in New Jersey.
00:07:55
And I'm like, is this, you know, it's a little fishy.
00:07:59
So to speak that he didn't bring this up when he was on your podcast because I live in New Jersey.
00:08:04
He lives in New York now, like as of a few months ago.
00:08:07
But he has to like, I guess the Costco in New Jersey is the only one that has his specific medication.
00:08:12
But yeah.
00:08:13
So I'm like, why didn't he bring that up?
00:08:14
It feels like maybe something shady is happening, and he part of Operation Beef Bandit.
00:08:21
Very well could be is what I'm thinking.
00:08:23
We did accuse him of a lot of random things in that episode.
00:08:27
I do that all the time.
00:08:28
Being a misogynist.
00:08:29
Yeah.
00:08:30
Oh, he told me about that.
00:08:31
Yeah.
00:08:32
We really came for him.
00:08:33
We tried to get him canceled.
00:08:34
I love that.
00:08:35
It didn't work though.
00:08:36
Everyone just loved him.
00:08:37
He was like, frustrating.
00:08:38
I know it.
00:08:39
You know what?
00:08:40
As his sister, I totally understand how you feel.
00:08:41
Yeah.
00:08:42
We're going to give you a lot of space to just.
00:08:44
Yeah.
00:08:45
Just lay it all out there.
00:08:47
We want you to feel seen.
00:08:49
Yeah.
00:08:50
We want you to feel seen.
00:08:51
We want you to have your moment.
00:08:52
So on September 17th, police arrested Sean Coleman, 23, Saludine Reddy, 37, Honeyf Tucker, 31, and Rashon Clark Reddy, 26,
00:09:02
after they've broken to a parked occupied tractor trailer at the Molly Pitcher Service area on the New Jersey turnpike.
00:09:09
For the past three years, the crew broke into parked, often occupied trailers, and stole millions of dollars worth of high-value goods, including meat, alcohol,
00:09:20
and seafood.
00:09:21
Wow.
00:09:22
Quote, they've been targeting tractor trailers overnight in our service areas while the truck drivers are sleeping.
00:09:28
Mmm.
00:09:29
That's scary.
00:09:30
Mmm.
00:09:31
Well, they're in a totally separate compartment.
00:09:32
Right.
00:09:33
Right.
00:09:34
But what if they just like slept among the shrimp?
00:09:36
Yeah.
00:09:37
They're going after the car door.
00:09:39
And the hot sleeper.
00:09:40
I sleep in the back.
00:09:41
I sleep in the refrigerator.
00:09:42
The refrigerator truck.
00:09:43
But okay.
00:09:44
But here's my question.
00:09:45
Do you think that they know when they're opening the tractor trailer, like what's inside?
00:09:49
Because what if they're like, "Oh, well, this is clearly going.
00:09:52
This clearly has some valuable, massive quantity of stuff inside its head at a Costco?"
00:09:57
And they open it, and then they're like, "Guess we're taking shrimp today."
00:10:00
Or do you think they like to eat?
00:10:01
I think if they're targeting...
00:10:02
It sounds like they're targeting food, and so they're likely targeting refrigerated trucks, which are pretty easy to identify.
00:10:08
And then a lot of those trucks will have advertising on them that are like, "Great, AB for those like McDonald's trucks or whatever the most shrimp."
00:10:17
Yeah.
00:10:18
Yeah.
00:10:19
There's 300 grand worth of shrimp right here, boss.
00:10:21
Clip this, clip this lock off, you're going to get your bag of shrimp.
00:10:25
That's crazy.
00:10:26
That's crazy.
00:10:27
That's crazy.
00:10:28
But also if they're just kind of breaking into the back and no one's hearing, like it's pretty like a fly-by-night operation, maybe if they open it and it's like, you know, fucking bananas that are that value of 300,000 pounds of bananas.
00:10:42
Maybe they can just kind of be like, "But this is not worth it."
00:10:46
And then just lock it up.
00:10:47
Just shut it.
00:10:48
Right, right, good point.
00:10:49
Good point.
00:10:50
No one has to know.
00:10:51
Because if it's not worth it, if they get caught for something that dumb.
00:10:54
Right.
00:10:55
Just walk away.
00:10:56
Great point.
00:10:57
Great point.
00:10:58
Yeah.
00:10:59
Two of the suspects allegedly intentionally rammed and occupied unmarked police car at three troopers sustained minor injuries during the arrest.
00:11:08
Wow.
00:11:09
They were really fighting for that shrimp.
00:11:11
Fighting for that shrimp.
00:11:12
NJSB Sergeant Charles Marshmarshan, Marchan, confirmed to seafood source the 12th of September theft of a truck from a warehouse in Middlesex,
00:11:23
New Jersey, is linked to the Operation Beef Bandit crime.
00:11:26
Beef Bandit is so good.
00:11:28
In that case, the truck contained, this is our shrimp, $305,000 worth of shrimp that was bound for a Costco in Monroe, New Jersey.
00:11:37
I wonder if that's your brother's spot in Costco.
00:11:39
I'm not sure.
00:11:40
I should look.
00:11:41
The reported value of the stolen tractor trailer was $50,000.
00:11:44
So they took the trailer itself, bringing the total loss from the theft to $355,000.
00:11:53
The four men were charged with receiving stolen property possession of burglar tools, conspiracy to commit a cargo theft and criminal decisions for possessing burglar tools.
00:12:04
I guess you can.
00:12:05
Yes.
00:12:06
What is a, I mean, like a, okay, a bobby pin?
00:12:08
No, probably not.
00:12:09
I mean, I have a feeling this is one of those things that they tack on when they get you.
00:12:13
Oh, right.
00:12:14
Yeah.
00:12:15
And so that is like, if you get the actual burglary and get caught with a bobby pin, you're stuck in charges.
00:12:20
You're fucked.
00:12:22
You're fucked.
00:12:23
You get it now.
00:12:24
NJSP said they do not know whether the arrest suspects were responsible for two recent Philadelphia cargo thefts that have involved valuable loads of seafood.
00:12:32
I love a valuable load.
00:12:33
Valuable loads.
00:12:34
I love that they're like, it could be a different bandit who's targeting this other seafood truck.
00:12:41
You're saying this is a lot of, many of these gangs running around New Jersey.
00:12:44
This is a hot frozen item.
00:12:46
I guess so.
00:12:47
On September 4, in Philadelphia, thieves stole an estimated $42,000 worth of crab.
00:12:52
From a parked tractor trailer, according to a Philadelphia police department report, quote, a 49 year old male reported to police that while he was asleep inside his tractor trailer, he felt movements coming from the rear of the vehicle upon checking.
00:13:05
He observed approximately six males stealing boxes of crab meat, the names of the seafood supplier and its customer or not provided.
00:13:14
They are being protected for their safety on August 8, one pallet of tuna with an undisclosed value.
00:13:22
We're stolen from a parked tractor trailer in the same city, according to a separate Philadelphia police department report.
00:13:27
Again, no information on the seafood supplier or customer was provided.
00:13:32
What's happening?
00:13:33
It's just, I don't know.
00:13:36
What is he doing with it?
00:13:37
I don't know, but it's so perplexed.
00:13:40
It's not great.
00:13:41
It's not great.
00:13:42
I just feel so uncomfortable that I don't know what the point is.
00:13:46
I just hope now we're going to see a drop in food theft because we caught the Operation Beef Bandit crime ring.
00:13:56
I can't believe that they've been stopped.
00:13:59
Women and children and people can sleep soundly in their beds this Eve or in their refrigerator.
00:14:07
No, we're not going to beef bed.
00:14:08
It's our behind bar.
00:14:09
Yes.
00:14:10
Thanks to the New Jersey seafood police, NJSP, stop them in their tracks.
00:14:19
That is wild.
00:14:21
If Costco was their victim, I don't really care.
00:14:25
They'll be fine.
00:14:26
They'll be fine.
00:14:27
You know they have hella insurance on all their frozen shrimp.
00:14:29
Right.
00:14:30
And imagine what's the biggest hurt to customers?
00:14:32
They can't get their little shrimp platter.
00:14:34
I mean, it's rough.
00:14:35
I understand.
00:14:36
It was frozen shrimp.
00:14:37
It wasn't even like the good fresh cocktail shrimp.
00:14:41
They wouldn't dare.
00:14:42
The bandits wouldn't dare.
00:14:43
The fresh.
00:14:44
I mean, think of how this scrunched the timeline of turnover would be if you got fresh shrimp.
00:14:51
Ooh.
00:14:52
That'd be terrible.
00:14:53
That's too stressful.
00:14:54
You'd be, talk about clock ticking.
00:14:55
Yeah.
00:14:56
Frozen is where I drop the line.
00:14:58
Yeah.
00:14:59
In a slightly related headline that also involves food and fuckery.
00:15:06
Yeah.
00:15:07
We have a headline that might have been our most sent headline for this month from WeAreGreenBay.com.
00:15:15
So this is out of Wisconsin.
00:15:17
Ooh.
00:15:18
Famous pizza place in Wisconsin issues apology after serving pizza contaminated with THC.
00:15:24
No.
00:15:25
Health officials provide guidance.
00:15:28
Oh.
00:15:29
Wisconsin-based pizza restaurant has issued an apology after it was discovered that some of its pizza served to customers was contaminated with THC.
00:15:39
What?
00:15:40
Officials with public health Madison and Dane County stated in a release that famous Yeti's pizza in Stouten had an unintentional THC contamination in the dough of some of its pizzas sold between Monday,
00:15:54
October 21st and Thursday, October 24.
00:15:58
So this just happened.
00:15:59
We just missed our window.
00:16:00
Of course.
00:16:01
Okay.
00:16:02
I was just in Madison like two weeks ago.
00:16:03
I was like, I missed the window up and we also didn't need any pizza, but it sure sounds like a place M would eat.
00:16:09
So kind of got a free buzz.
00:16:11
I was going to say, man, I'm just not partake.
00:16:14
No, I'm just not partake.
00:16:16
I would have loved to see.
00:16:17
Any of the substances.
00:16:18
I would have loved to see that.
00:16:19
I'm slipping into psychosis.
00:16:20
I want to order you a pizza and see what happens.
00:16:24
Grow to the hospital.
00:16:27
Health officials are warning anyone who may have purchased pizza during that time frame from famous Yeti's to throw it away.
00:16:34
What happened?
00:16:35
How do you get T.C.
00:16:36
in your dough?
00:16:37
Let's see what they say.
00:16:39
Around 5.30 p.m.
00:16:40
on October 24th, famous Yeti's pizza addressed the incident on its Facebook page with an explanation and apology.
00:16:48
The full statement can be read below Yeti's community.
00:16:52
It is with deep regret that we inform you of a potential contamination involving pizza sold between Tuesday, October 22nd and 4.30 p.m.
00:17:01
and Thursday, October 24th, 12 p.m.
00:17:03
I want to know how they got the timeline so tight.
00:17:06
Yeah, that's actually very precise.
00:17:09
After receiving reports from staff, Yeti's owner and employees of unexplained physical reactions.
00:17:15
Oh no.
00:17:16
We underwent an investigation with the Stoughton Police and the local health officials.
00:17:22
Today, it was confirmed that pizza had been sold with dough mistakenly prepared with Delta 9 contaminated oil, the olive oil or whatever,
00:17:33
more vegetable oil that was in there was weed oil, which is like expensive though.
00:17:40
How are you getting that mixed up with just like restaurant-grade oil that had to be right now?
00:17:52
The oil accidentally used in the product originated from a shared storage space in the on-site cooperative commercial kitchen.
00:18:03
They might prep their dough in a co-op commercial kitchen, which we have a bunch of these in Minnesota too.
00:18:09
I'm sure every state has them because people have smaller businesses and they have they want to sell stuff.
00:18:14
Yeah, and hot sauces, all kinds of stuff.
00:18:17
You have to under like food regulations.
00:18:21
You have to prep in a commercial-grade kitchen.
00:18:24
Right.
00:18:25
Right.
00:18:26
Not everybody has access to that.
00:18:27
So, is Delta 9 legal in Wisconsin?
00:18:30
It's like federally legal, I believe.
00:18:33
So yeah, maybe someone is making oils, gummies, textures, things like that for their first store at the wrong bottle.
00:18:40
And someone grabbed the wrong bottle?
00:18:42
No.
00:18:43
I mean, it seems like it would be a tough thing to mix up by accident, but what do I know?
00:18:50
We want to assure you that all affected products have been destroyed.
00:18:54
Destroyed.
00:18:55
Oh, I know.
00:18:56
Well, maybe they were destroyed by being eaten by the staff.
00:19:00
We don't know how they were destroyed.
00:19:02
We don't know how they were destroyed.
00:19:03
We don't know how they were destroyed, right?
00:19:04
Famous.
00:19:05
I fucking destroyed.
00:19:06
I just wrote it out.
00:19:07
That beat piece.
00:19:08
Famous.
00:19:09
And then it destroyed me.
00:19:10
And then it fucking destroyed me.
00:19:12
Yes, I might ate something made with weed oil.
00:19:15
I was high for three days.
00:19:16
Oh, my God.
00:19:17
I had to cancel recording.
00:19:18
And then that's what I can't read.
00:19:19
And then that's what I can't read.
00:19:20
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
00:19:21
You were just like, I'm still affected.
00:19:23
I literally can't get my shit together.
00:19:25
I can't read.
00:19:26
What kind of food?
00:19:27
I made popcorn with weed infused coconut oil that my husband had made, like super strong.
00:19:33
And I did not.
00:19:34
I had no idea what the measurements were.
00:19:36
Oh, yeah.
00:19:37
That's dangerous.
00:19:38
These spoonfuls just plopped them in the pot, poured the popcorn over it, popped it right in the oil.
00:19:45
Three days later.
00:19:46
Oh, it was so good that I watched a double feature of Fall and the day after tomorrow.
00:19:51
Oh.
00:19:52
I mean, it sounds like you're quite an experience.
00:19:54
Thoroughly fucked yourself out.
00:19:55
And then went to bed.
00:19:56
And I don't even remember this, but I guess I told my husband that I thought I needed to go to the hospital.
00:20:00
And he was like, no, you don't.
00:20:01
You need to go to bed.
00:20:02
And then he went straight to bed.
00:20:03
Anyway, then the next day I was like, I can't, I can't do this.
00:20:09
I can barely look at my phone.
00:20:11
Like I couldn't read.
00:20:12
Oh, that's the worst.
00:20:14
That's what you really know.
00:20:15
You've done it.
00:20:16
It was rough.
00:20:17
Yeah.
00:20:18
I was like, well, maybe I'll feel this way forever.
00:20:20
And then by the end of the day, I was like, okay, I'm starting to come around and then one more good, nice sleep.
00:20:25
But I was to be fair.
00:20:26
That's a long time.
00:20:27
That's a key.
00:20:28
Yeah.
00:20:29
That's quite a quiet.
00:20:30
But I was like, I could drive.
00:20:31
I could read.
00:20:32
I can function.
00:20:33
I just can feel that there's THC in my body.
00:20:37
Yeah.
00:20:38
It makes me wonder, like, how high people got after, like, I don't know, after eating the pizza, is it like you eat a slice and it's like, oh, I feel buzzed or is it like, oh, you have to eat the whole thing.
00:20:48
It's soft, too, because pizza's fatty, so it's going to like delay and imagine you forget your left hand.
00:20:53
Then we're like, yeah, then you're high and shitting through a screen door.
00:20:58
Yeah.
00:20:59
You're bad to have room, and it's just rough times.
00:21:02
The walls are closing in on your sweat and you can't find the bathroom.
00:21:06
It's all a thing.
00:21:07
Just ride my own personal hell.
00:21:09
That's it.
00:21:10
You're in there for 49 minutes, your friends come looking for you.
00:21:14
Are you okay?
00:21:15
I live here now.
00:21:16
I live here now.
00:21:17
Wade is working closely with local authorities to improve our storage and security protocols to prevent this from happening again,
00:21:28
and to guarantee the safe.
00:21:30
We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience or harm cause.
00:21:34
If you were affected or have any questions, please reach out to kale@famousyetis@gmail.com.
00:21:42
Wow.
00:21:43
There are those emails.
00:21:44
I wouldn't pay good money to see those emails from them.
00:21:46
Right.
00:21:47
The comment section on the Facebook page is quite funny.
00:21:50
It's mostly people being like, damn, I missed the window.
00:21:53
Yeah.
00:21:54
It's a pizza.
00:21:55
It's very predictable commentary.
00:21:58
That seems exactly correct.
00:22:00
Stoughten EMS reportedly notified public health that they had transported multiple people with symptoms who all reported eating at Famous Yeti's Pizza.
00:22:08
Oh my God.
00:22:09
Straight to the source.
00:22:11
I mean, if you didn't know, and you ate this, that's true.
00:22:16
And then a few hours later, you're like, fucked up.
00:22:20
I'd probably be like, I need to go to the hospital too.
00:22:22
Well, and if you think like you're eating at a dinner time, maybe you have a few beers and you're like, something's really like- So it's off.
00:22:28
Yeah.
00:22:29
Yeah.
00:22:30
Yeah.
00:22:31
That would be probably really confusing.
00:22:32
And potentially dangerous if you were like by yourself, or if you were driving or if you were like biking to drive.
00:22:38
Yeah.
00:22:39
This is certainly a funny story, but that would be straight up terrifying and potentially very dangerous.
00:22:45
You don't know people's allergies or reactions.
00:22:48
Right.
00:22:49
I mean, this is not an okay thing to have had happen.
00:22:53
Right.
00:22:54
It's not good.
00:22:55
It's not likely that anyone's going to die from accidentally eating weed, but it's still not a good situation.
00:23:01
Yes.
00:23:02
Yes.
00:23:03
The release also notes that Famous Yeti's Pizza operates in a building with a shared industrial kitchen where many businesses make food and other products, quote, public health sanitarians are currently investigating the building with help from the Sutton Police Department and the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture,
00:23:17
Trade and Consumer Protection.
00:23:19
The owner of Famous Yeti's Pizza is cooperating with the investigation.
00:23:23
Thank you, Kale.
00:23:24
Kale.
00:23:25
Health officials are also asking anyone who ate the pizza and is experiencing THC related symptoms to contact their health care provider or call 911 if their symptoms worsen.
00:23:34
Oh, no.
00:23:35
Don't call 911.
00:23:36
Yeah.
00:23:37
I mean, maybe too much you need to do like that.
00:23:40
I feel told me you don't need to go to the hospital.
00:23:43
Right.
00:23:44
You need to go to bed.
00:23:45
Yeah.
00:23:46
Go to bed.
00:23:47
Not drive your car and go to sleep.
00:23:48
You need to have a small plate of scrambled eggs and get a nice big blanket and a weighted blanket.
00:23:55
A weighted blanket.
00:23:56
A weighted blanket and just put on brown noise.
00:23:58
Relax.
00:23:59
Just chill.
00:24:00
Close your eyes and the spinning will stop.
00:24:02
Oh, no.
00:24:03
I hate that.
00:24:04
All right.
00:24:05
I've got a couple more for you today.
00:24:06
I know that at least one person, Lucy, on this call is a fan of the acclaimed comedy sketch show.
00:24:15
I think you should leave.
00:24:16
Oh, yeah.
00:24:17
Oh, yeah.
00:24:18
And you are also also.
00:24:19
Yes.
00:24:20
Okay.
00:24:21
Well, when I got this in my inbox, I literally yelled on the toilet while I was putting these together.
00:24:27
They say coffin flop is not a show.
00:24:31
I almost included this in mind.
00:24:33
No way.
00:24:34
No way.
00:24:35
I didn't.
00:24:36
This is from apnews.com funeral home in Poland apologizes after a course falls out of a curse in traffic.
00:24:45
Oh, my God.
00:24:47
This is both like my dream and my nightmare.
00:24:51
Right.
00:24:52
Right.
00:24:53
It's my dream.
00:24:54
It is definitely losing.
00:24:55
Dream.
00:24:56
Yes.
00:24:57
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:24:59
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:00
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:01
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:02
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:03
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:04
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:05
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:06
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:07
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:08
I want to write this into my like end of life plans.
00:25:09
Like pulls a chain just like opens, yeah, yeah, I want this and I want to come out of the hers and flop, coffin flop into traffic.
00:25:19
Yeah.
00:25:20
I love that.
00:25:21
And filled the coffin with frozen shrimp while we're at it.
00:25:22
The soul.
00:25:23
The soul.
00:25:24
The soul.
00:25:25
The soul.
00:25:26
The soul.
00:25:27
The soul.
00:25:28
The soul.
00:25:29
Like pulls a chain.
00:25:30
Just like opens.
00:25:31
Yeah.
00:25:32
Yep.
00:25:33
I want this and I want this and I want to come out of the hers and flop, coffin flop into traffic.
00:25:34
Yeah.
00:25:35
I love that.
00:25:36
And filled the coffin with frozen shrimp while we're at it.
00:25:37
The soul.
00:25:38
Yeah.
00:25:39
Very very confusing for the unknowing public, very unbranded for the people who know me.
00:25:45
The uninitiated won't know what's happening, but a funeral home in Poland issued an unusual apology on Saturday after a corpse that it was transporting fell out of our hers and in due traffic.
00:25:57
Oh my gosh.
00:25:58
Polish media reported that a man was driving down to St.
00:26:02
Freddy in Stalowa, Wola, a city in southeastern Poland, Stalowa, Wola, when he first saw a sheet on his car window.
00:26:13
Oh no.
00:26:14
A shroud.
00:26:15
You see?
00:26:16
When the sheet slid down, he saw a body on the road.
00:26:25
This is crazy.
00:26:27
This is like the final destination.
00:26:29
And then he said he thought he hit a person for a moment, the driver feared that he would hit the person.
00:26:35
It's very scary.
00:26:36
That is my nightmare.
00:26:37
The range of a mo- that would be- The rollercoaster, shitting, crying, screaming, just, just expiring on the spot.
00:26:44
A regular Thursday morning, basically.
00:26:45
I had an old man in a tux.
00:26:47
Oh my god.
00:26:48
And it tuxed and he was wearing a sheet around his head for some reason.
00:26:52
Or it's their bare butts like in the sketch.
00:26:55
Oh.
00:26:56
Local media published an image of the corpse lying on a white striped pedestrian crossing and he wore it tumbled out of the hers.
00:27:04
Tumbled.
00:27:05
AP news.
00:27:06
Come on.
00:27:07
Tumbled.
00:27:08
The company transporting the hers, Hades funeral service.
00:27:14
Stop it.
00:27:15
Like the country?
00:27:16
H-A-D-E-S.
00:27:17
No, like the guy who like- Oh.
00:27:20
Like the god of hell or whatever?
00:27:22
The underworld.
00:27:23
Yeah.
00:27:24
God of the underworld.
00:27:25
No wonder.
00:27:26
Hades.
00:27:27
The Hercules movies where his hair, blue, flames, blue fog, why the fuck would you call it Hades funeral service?
00:27:35
It might be like Hades.
00:27:38
It's gotta be somebody's name or something, but it's spelled Hades.
00:27:41
So that's how I feel a little on the nose.
00:27:43
It's too much.
00:27:44
I also visited my grandma at her new apartment recently.
00:27:49
Okay.
00:27:50
It's like an assisted living place.
00:27:52
It's on like sundown boulevard or something.
00:27:56
It's like a really suggestive street name.
00:27:58
It's like sundowners boulevard.
00:28:00
Wow.
00:28:01
Yeah.
00:28:02
I don't like that.
00:28:03
Yeah.
00:28:04
Again, on the nose.
00:28:05
Just the memory care ward is very rough.
00:28:08
Very rough.
00:28:09
Specific.
00:28:10
They have like an event space on the first floor, and you know when it's happy hour because there is just a row of like wheelie walkers parked in the hallway.
00:28:19
Oh my god.
00:28:20
I actually kind of want to go there now.
00:28:23
Yeah.
00:28:24
What a happy hour.
00:28:26
Yeah.
00:28:27
They only have beer and wine.
00:28:28
That's fine.
00:28:29
I can make that work.
00:28:30
Can you bring your own, bring your own Panifera Coolidge and EYO Panifera?
00:28:33
It's fine.
00:28:34
It'll be a good time.
00:28:35
So Hades Food Rule Services issued a statement Saturday taking responsibility for the incident and blaming a technical failure of the hearse.
00:28:43
Quote.
00:28:44
It is with deep regrets that we inform you that as a result of an unexpected technical failure of the electric tailgate lock in the hearse during the transport of the body of the deceased,
00:28:55
an unfortunate event occurred, which does not reflect the high standards of our company, our deep empathy towards the families of the deceased and the respect we always show to the deceased.
00:29:08
It apologized to all those who were disappointed and upset by this event.
00:29:13
Disappoint.
00:29:14
I'm just.
00:29:15
I'm not about those.
00:29:16
I'm not mad.
00:29:17
I'm just disappointed and excited by that.
00:29:21
Where's my apology for getting me horny out of Thursday, where's your apology for Lucy like flying to Poland to just say what happens next so much money on tickets to Poland?
00:29:35
Oh my God.
00:29:36
And that's all on you, Hades Food Rule Service.
00:29:38
I mean, I like parogies, but I came to see a corpse fly under my windshield.
00:29:44
I was my honest to show the shock of the shock of all my God.
00:29:51
There's a sheet on my windshield.
00:29:53
I can't see anything.
00:29:54
And then the sheet blows away and there's a corpse in the road, just like, I mean, I thought the eyes would have been glued shut, yikes, never in my fucking life,
00:30:06
never in my fucking life.
00:30:08
Okay.
00:30:09
I have one more that I just, I read the headline and I clicked it because I was curious.
00:30:16
And then when I saw the picture, which I'm popping in that, that shared drive that I sent to you guys, so you can see it.
00:30:26
I kind of want you to look at it and tell me what you see before I read the headline.
00:30:31
Uh oh.
00:30:32
Uh oh.
00:30:33
Uh oh.
00:30:34
I see.
00:30:35
Is candle?
00:30:36
Plansman.
00:30:37
Yes.
00:30:38
Oh, big time.
00:30:39
Yeah.
00:30:40
Sorry.
00:30:41
I was like a candle.
00:30:42
Okay.
00:30:43
I get a candle.
00:30:44
Yeah.
00:30:45
Yeah.
00:30:46
Yeah.
00:30:47
It's bad.
00:30:48
No.
00:30:49
No doubt.
00:30:50
I read the headline and I was like, wait, no way.
00:30:52
And then I saw the picture and I was I actually had to like close out of the tab.
00:30:57
It was getting me like freaked out.
00:30:58
It looked so I write I can't see that as it gets past so many rounds of people.
00:31:08
So many fucking people.
00:31:09
Yeah.
00:31:10
Bath and body works of all things.
00:31:12
Yikes.
00:31:13
Y'all.
00:31:14
Bath and body works upologizes for candle with label resembling KKK.
00:31:19
Crazy.
00:31:20
Crazy.
00:31:21
It's supposed to be like a cut one of those cut out snowflake right with a paper cuts but but like no, no, no,
00:31:31
no.
00:31:32
It's a candle indeed.
00:31:45
This is the worst fucking thing.
00:31:50
A candle that should have been known for its cozy notes of buttermilk musk and vanilla has quickly become a viral blunder by one of the cut out of vanilla.
00:31:52
Elon Musk and vanilla.
00:31:53
Yeah.
00:31:54
Yeah.
00:31:55
That's more accurate.
00:31:56
Oh god.
00:31:56
By one of the country's most popular home fragrance chains.
00:31:59
Bath and body works pulled its snowed in candle from shelves last week.
00:32:04
After online critics at the label included imagery resembling garb worn by Ku Klux Klan members.
00:32:11
Yeah.
00:32:12
Yeah.
00:32:13
Yeah.
00:32:14
It fucking looks exactly like their pointed hoods with eye holes.
00:32:16
Literally.
00:32:17
And like just in a row.
00:32:19
Yeah.
00:32:20
Yeah.
00:32:21
The design which was meant to be a paper snowflake looks similar.
00:32:23
No.
00:32:24
It looks exactly.
00:32:25
We get it.
00:32:26
Like we get what it was supposed to be but it doesn't negate what it looks like.
00:32:29
Yeah.
00:32:30
We hear you.
00:32:31
We do hear you.
00:32:32
But we also see it.
00:32:33
We also see it.
00:32:34
Yeah.
00:32:35
We also see it.
00:32:36
We also see it.
00:32:37
We also see it.
00:32:38
Yeah.
00:32:39
We also see it.
00:32:40
We also see it.
00:32:41
Yeah.
00:32:42
We also see it.
00:32:43
We also see it.
00:32:44
Yeah.
00:32:45
We also see it.
00:32:46
Yeah.
00:32:47
We also see it.
00:32:48
Yeah.
00:32:49
We also see it.
00:32:50
Yeah.
00:32:50
We also see it.
00:32:51
Yeah.
00:32:52
We also see it.
00:32:53
Yeah.
00:32:54
We also see it.
00:32:55
Yeah.
00:32:56
We also see it.
00:32:57
Yeah.
00:32:58
did this, why people approve this, why people put this on shelf?
00:33:01
- There's no other, possibly.
00:33:03
- No, there's no other possible way.
00:33:05
- There's no other fucking way.
00:33:07
This was, this is our fault.
00:33:08
- It's like pretty shocking to look at.
00:33:10
- It's so shocking.
00:33:11
It's so shocking, I couldn't believe it.
00:33:13
- This feels like something that would have happened in like 2003 when the internet was first like, when people were like, but nowadays, like you think people would be a little more on their game.
00:33:22
- This is why diversity and inclusion, corporate programs.
00:33:27
- We are legit.
00:33:30
- One of the many reasons.
00:33:32
- Oh my God.
00:33:33
- A spokesperson for the Columbus, Ohio-based, well, there you go.
00:33:37
- Hey.
00:33:37
- Retailer.
00:33:38
- Hey.
00:33:38
(all laughing)
00:33:41
- No comment.
00:33:42
- Sorry, it's only all the comments.
00:33:44
- Oh boy.
00:33:45
(all laughing)
00:33:46
- Retailer said the resemblance was unintentional and the company is committed to listening to our teams and customers and committed to fixing any mistakes we make.
00:33:57
We apologize to anyone we've offended and are swiftly working to have this item removed and are evaluating our process going forward.
00:34:07
We hired a person of color.
00:34:10
There's one now.
00:34:12
We're gonna put them on all the pamphlets and brochures.
00:34:14
- Yeah, blue salt.
00:34:16
- Everything's fine, you guys.
00:34:19
The gap comes during a crucial quarter for Bath & Body Works, which leans on the holidays to make up more than a third of its annual sales.
00:34:26
- Oh my God.
00:34:27
- The company also leverages its special collections to retain existing customers and maintain interest levels.
00:34:33
I'm literally gagging.
00:34:34
Whatever, fuck you Bath & Body Works, I don't care.
00:34:38
Bath & Body Works has seen sales decline over the past few years.
00:34:41
Yeah, because you get a headache walking by their store.
00:34:43
- It's like painful to even be in the vicinity sometimes.
00:34:46
Bath & Body Works and I'm sorry to say it lush.
00:34:50
- It's really strong.
00:34:51
Like it's made of mall.
00:34:52
- I ain't a mall.
00:34:52
- I won't go in a mall.
00:34:54
- Yeah.
00:34:55
- It's like a holester.
00:34:56
- Yes, yes, what is the sense at all these places?
00:34:59
- 'Cause at least, like, holester and Avrocrombie at least back when we were used able to fit in those clothes.
00:35:05
It was like their signature scent.
00:35:07
It was like their cologne or whatever it was used.
00:35:09
- Right, so sucked, but places like Bath & Body Works, it is a bombardment.
00:35:14
- We've got like 40 different things.
00:35:16
- Oh, 1000 cents.
00:35:18
And everyone's like testing with each other.
00:35:20
- So it's like adding to it.
00:35:22
- Oh, I can't.
00:35:23
- If you work there, I can't.
00:35:24
Every time I see people working there, I'm like, you must just have a migraine every fucking day.
00:35:28
- Yeah, yeah.
00:35:29
- Every day.
00:35:30
- Yeah.
00:35:31
- It's latest earnings released in August showed a 2% decline in total revenue, but sales are back to matching pre-pandemic levels.
00:35:37
- Thanks to this.
00:35:38
- Congratulations.
00:35:39
- Yeah, I didn't know who love Bath & Body Works.
00:35:42
- Maybe they have like a new, like, following in the white supremacy groups.
00:35:45
They're like, oh, we're actually really into this.
00:35:47
We're gonna start financing your business.
00:35:50
- Okay, thank you.
00:35:51
Again, shout out to Reddit.
00:35:53
- A Bath & Body Works employee posted on Reddit that the company is instructing workers to remove the labels and place them in opaque trash bags.
00:36:01
So they can't be seen in-- - Oh, opaque trash.
00:36:03
Candles purchased before they were removed from shelves are being resold on eBay.
00:36:10
With listings, I can't you guys.
00:36:12
What we are fucking depraved with listings ranging from 125 to 360 dollars.
00:36:21
If some matter, my people, why would you want that?
00:36:25
- Well, some people are fucking discussing.
00:36:28
Some commenters on Twitter and Reddit are dubbing the Snowden candle.
00:36:32
There you go, the clandle and the cland Christmas candle.
00:36:35
- Lucy called it.
00:36:36
- There's been a resurgence in Clansman Garb as a popular hate symbol among white supremacists according to the Anti-Defamation League.
00:36:44
A recent report from the FBI showed that hate crimes against black people are African-Americans accounted for 30% of incidents in the last year, the highest for any group.
00:36:54
- Hmm.
00:36:55
- So delightful.
00:36:56
- Yeah, it's like great fucking timing.
00:36:59
Bath and body work.
00:37:00
- I think they had to present the information to the Bath and Body Works team.
00:37:04
- Yeah.
00:37:04
- And they were like, oh.
00:37:05
Stoking the candle flames of division and white supremacy.
00:37:10
One Snowden candle at a time.
00:37:13
- Oh my God, they're $300 on eBay, I can't.
00:37:17
- People are sick.
00:37:18
Those are my headlines.
00:37:19
- Wow.
00:37:20
- If I had to be shocked by that, I had to bring y'all along with me.
00:37:24
- Thank you.
00:37:24
- And if you stumble upon something wild like any of the above, you can go to our website, winencrimepodcast.com, and at Contact Us, we've got this cute little drop down menu where you can pick funny headline.
00:37:37
Drop in your link and send it away.
00:37:40
- I like how you're telling the audience, and I'm like, oh, love that, I'm gonna drive.
00:37:43
- I'm gonna go to your website.
00:37:44
(laughing)
00:37:45
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00:42:56
Oh, welcome back.
00:42:58
That was, that was a lot.
00:43:01
I told you it was your chaos.
00:43:03
Yeah, it was.
00:43:04
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.
00:43:06
I had a freaking like IBS flair this morning.
00:43:09
I'm putting together all my headlines on the toilet and I'm bombarded with this stuff.
00:43:14
You're reading about like shrimp and like the KKK.
00:43:17
It's really a back KKK candles.
00:43:19
Bodies falling out on the street.
00:43:21
Oh yeah, the fucking body.
00:43:22
I already forgot about the corpse.
00:43:24
The sheet.
00:43:25
The sheet on the windshield.
00:43:27
It was a popery.
00:43:28
A disturbing popery.
00:43:30
Yes.
00:43:31
A hellish pop.
00:43:32
Hades funeral services.
00:43:34
It's like so smelly.
00:43:35
Think about the shrimp.
00:43:36
Think about the dead body and then think about the candle.
00:43:38
It's like all the smells.
00:43:39
The stenches.
00:43:40
Is it the weed pizza?
00:43:42
The weed pizza.
00:43:43
Oh, you've made.
00:43:44
Oh, you've made a jeep.
00:43:46
You said it for dean.
00:43:48
You know what?
00:43:49
I did.
00:43:51
Well, that's your turn, bitch.
00:43:53
That was your turn, bitch.
00:43:54
Great, yeah, I'm totally going to live up to the high bar you just set for me.
00:44:02
Let's see if I can.
00:44:03
It's okay.
00:44:04
No one ever does.
00:44:05
What do I do?
00:44:06
I just read these confessions from people.
00:44:07
Yeah.
00:44:08
You sure do.
00:44:09
They have been.
00:44:10
We haven't read them.
00:44:11
Okay.
00:44:12
Our professor Andrea pulls them and tries to pull confessions that will resonate with you as a guest.
00:44:19
Oh.
00:44:20
Intriguing.
00:44:21
Okay.
00:44:22
She did a little bit of light research on you.
00:44:24
And personally, so hopefully you feel like Targett is a quick background check.
00:44:31
Targett.
00:44:32
Yeah.
00:44:33
That's exactly what I was hoping to feel today.
00:44:34
Yeah.
00:44:35
Welcome to "Widen Cry."
00:44:37
Oh, I knew what I was getting into, who am I kidding?
00:44:40
You know we're bad people.
00:44:41
We've known each other for a while.
00:44:43
That's true.
00:44:44
We've been on this roller coaster.
00:44:46
We sure have.
00:44:47
All right.
00:44:48
So this one is called blasphemous barista.
00:44:51
Uh-oh.
00:44:52
You could say I was going through a stage in life I like to call religious rebellion.
00:44:57
Wow.
00:44:58
I already do feel targeted, thank you.
00:45:01
At the time I worked at a popular coffee chain as a barista and who would come in every other day but father M.
00:45:07
Oh.
00:45:08
Yikes.
00:45:09
Oh.
00:45:10
Not father M.
00:45:11
Not father M.
00:45:12
Not really behavior.
00:45:13
Not father M.
00:45:14
Shultz.
00:45:15
To be fair, it's the letter M, which, sure, still confusing, sure it is.
00:45:18
But I'm going to like put a pin in that and see what happens.
00:45:20
I'm only picturing M in a little priest collar with a little, yeah, white collar thing.
00:45:25
Yeah.
00:45:26
With like their hair, but you know how like sometimes during like special holidays, like Easter, whatever, they'll have these like crazy robes that they pull out with like, oh, yeah.
00:45:36
So M is sure like glammed out in the Easter robes.
00:45:40
Full Catholic glam.
00:45:42
Full Catholic glam.
00:45:44
I'm like glam, that's honestly sick of it, that you just said, I'm changing my Halloween costume.
00:45:53
That's a hot dog.
00:45:54
No, no.
00:45:55
Hot Pope.
00:45:56
Hot.
00:45:57
Full Catholic glam.
00:45:58
Catholic glam.
00:45:59
Well, okay.
00:46:00
We are going to the Vatican next week.
00:46:02
We are.
00:46:03
Oh my god.
00:46:04
I love Catholic glam.
00:46:05
Hey, you could dress.
00:46:06
You could all do Vatican bounding, you know, like Disney bounding, but like Vatican bounding.
00:46:11
I don't know what that is.
00:46:12
Oh, it's like where you like subtly dress.
00:46:14
Like, I think Disney bounding is where you like, yes, because you're not allowed, you're not allowed to go to Disney like in a costume in a house because they have eight actors.
00:46:25
But people will do Disney bounding where they will put together an outfit that is like representative.
00:46:31
Right.
00:46:32
So it's like more subtle than like a full on costume and it like represents a certain character.
00:46:36
I'm going to Pope Pope bounding.
00:46:37
Yeah.
00:46:38
Vatican bounding.
00:46:39
Vatican bounding.
00:46:40
I do have like kind of a thick chain gold necklace where the thing is like, it's like a subtle little like emblem, I'm bringing it.
00:46:49
Now we're talking.
00:46:50
Just drop a cross on that thing and I bring two bags.
00:46:54
You better.
00:46:55
Is that crazy?
00:46:56
Is that insane?
00:46:57
When in Rome?
00:46:58
When in Rome?
00:46:59
We'll see.
00:47:00
I'm finishing packing today.
00:47:01
We'll see.
00:47:02
I'm going to have to text you guys because I have a lot of questions about your upcoming film.
00:47:05
And also by the time we, this episode comes out, we'll have been back for like two weeks.
00:47:08
Right.
00:47:09
Sounds completely ludicrous.
00:47:10
Yeah.
00:47:11
I'll be or I'll be still in like Italian prison because I've got arrested for.
00:47:16
Oh right.
00:47:17
Maybe never come back.
00:47:18
We'll see.
00:47:19
Vatican bounding.
00:47:20
Because you were Vatican bounding.
00:47:21
Right.
00:47:22
I showed my shoulder.
00:47:23
I think they probably frowned upon that.
00:47:24
Yeah.
00:47:25
Probably do.
00:47:26
Well, incidentally, guys, Father M was hot AF.
00:47:27
So, you know, it really is kind of tracking here.
00:47:30
And then it says, and I could sense a bit of flirtatious friendliness on his part.
00:47:33
He was young.
00:47:34
And in my eyes, the perfectly hot answer to my conundrum, the first of all, this feels like smut, like kindle smut, like where they were.
00:47:41
Ooh, priest.
00:47:42
Yeah.
00:47:43
I feel like I should be reading this on passengers right now.
00:47:44
Yeah.
00:47:45
On the toilet.
00:47:46
Like, yeah.
00:47:47
I like that they said conundrum.
00:47:48
Like, conundrum.
00:47:49
Conundrum.
00:47:50
It's a big old conundrum.
00:47:51
Ooh.
00:47:52
Conundrum.
00:47:53
Oh.
00:47:54
Oh, I didn't even get it.
00:47:55
Lucy.
00:47:56
No, but it's getting in my ear.
00:47:57
You're a humorist.
00:47:58
It's just so niche.
00:47:59
And like.
00:48:00
It's too smart for us.
00:48:01
Not funny.
00:48:02
Education.
00:48:03
Yeah.
00:48:04
Our humor is so niche.
00:48:05
It's so subtle.
00:48:06
It's just like a butt.
00:48:07
I'm just so proud of you for, you know, not a, you'll wear anything, you know.
00:48:11
That's like, like, you'll joke about it.
00:48:15
Oh, my God, you're so brave.
00:48:17
You're so brave to make jokes like that.
00:48:19
You look so comfortable.
00:48:20
Wow.
00:48:21
You look so comfortable.
00:48:22
Um, anyway, conundrum is good.
00:48:24
You're just comfortable in anything.
00:48:26
I really admire that about you, especially in Catholic glam.
00:48:30
That is when you really shine.
00:48:32
For the record, I'm really glad that you're here.
00:48:35
The record.
00:48:37
Don't listen to anyone else.
00:48:39
Don't listen to what I'm really, what everyone else is saying.
00:48:42
This is when I love to talk to other Midwest people.
00:48:44
I'm like, oh, yeah, we've all internalized these, these like passive aggressive insoles.
00:48:49
Uh-huh.
00:48:50
Okay.
00:48:51
Conundrum.
00:48:52
Conundrum of proven my point that all organized religion was a great big lie.
00:48:56
One night happened to be out having a few drinks with friends and guests who shows up to the local pub, but father M.
00:49:02
Hey, they're allowed to drink, they're allowed to drink those Catholics.
00:49:05
The sacrament.
00:49:06
That's right.
00:49:07
They're drinking blood.
00:49:08
Jesus blood.
00:49:09
Blood.
00:49:10
Blood.
00:49:11
Blood.
00:49:12
We locked eyes.
00:49:13
I used a few tricks I had up my sleeve.
00:49:16
Oh, God.
00:49:17
And the night ended with father M in my bed rolling around in my sinful she's holy shit.
00:49:24
This, this.
00:49:25
It's actually good.
00:49:26
It's my, it feels like it's gonna be this crazy father M.
00:49:31
I cannot believe that the story in the second paragraph, they're already fucking father M.
00:49:36
Like that happens so fast.
00:49:37
Yeah.
00:49:38
I don't even care if this is my life.
00:49:39
I don't even care if this is my life.
00:49:40
I don't even care if this is my life.
00:49:41
I don't even care if this is my life.
00:49:42
What else is there to say?
00:49:43
Oh, my God.
00:49:44
He gave her an SCD.
00:49:45
Oh.
00:49:46
Imagine.
00:49:47
Oh.
00:49:48
Imagine.
00:49:49
When it was over, father M had a panicked look on his face, yeah, I fucking bet.
00:49:53
He gathered up his clothes and as I watched with a mixture of surprise and suppressed laughter, he proceeded to dress hurriedly.
00:50:01
I got up in all my naked glory and leaned against the wall in front of him just to make him more uncomfortable.
00:50:09
He made a bunch of apologies and went running into the night.
00:50:12
His long black coat flying behind him as it was only half on.
00:50:16
Oh, regret.
00:50:17
A poor father M.
00:50:18
I wonder if he was good like you clearly regret this.
00:50:22
I couldn't help but laugh at the picture of him running down the street in the rain while I was trying to wrap his head around the fact that he had capital S sinned.
00:50:39
A few weeks later, he came into my coffee shop, sat me down and profusely apologized for his behavior and told me they were shipping him out to Washington state.
00:50:48
Is that where they go?
00:50:49
And they've like, is that out to pass you out to pass you going to to time out?
00:50:55
Like I don't know what that means, Washington state.
00:50:58
To this day I have no idea where father M is or what he's doing, but in the meantime I would say that was some great sex between his heavenly God and mine.
00:51:07
Oh my god.
00:51:08
Wow.
00:51:09
So Christine, how does that connect to a time when you're like, wait a minute, what did Andrea dig up on me?
00:51:18
Were you a barista?
00:51:19
I was not a barista, but I did go to Catholic school for many, many years and I've known a lot of priests and none of them were hot AF, unfortunately.
00:51:27
I think that connection and father M, the M actually also really nails it.
00:51:33
Yeah.
00:51:34
That also feels right.
00:51:35
Yeah.
00:51:36
Wow.
00:51:37
I will say I was deeply uncomfortable saying some of those sentences because I was thinking you could clip this and make it sound like I fucked a priest.
00:51:43
Oh, and we will.
00:51:45
You can't annual and that's that's part of the plan here that John that was consent.
00:51:50
Yeah.
00:51:51
R.I.P.
00:51:52
Christine's marriage.
00:51:55
Just kidding.
00:51:56
We imagine though, imagine blaze being like and with a Catholic priest of all people.
00:52:01
I think the Catholics really think about forgiveness, so I think that you guys will be okay.
00:52:08
That's a big thing for them.
00:52:09
They like to drink wine, just go say some Hail Mary's and all is forgiven.
00:52:14
Easy.
00:52:15
Easy peasy.
00:52:16
He has a lot of guilt in there.
00:52:17
Yeah.
00:52:18
We love our guilt.
00:52:19
It's like the Jewish folks and the Catholic folks, the guilt is like the big Venn diagram in the middle.
00:52:25
Yeah.
00:52:26
A shared experience.
00:52:27
We Lutherans don't give a fuck about anything.
00:52:28
Yeah.
00:52:29
I know.
00:52:30
I'm so jealous of you guys.
00:52:31
God bless.
00:52:32
This one's called Lucy Spooky Little Bitch.
00:52:35
Oh.
00:52:36
Oh.
00:52:37
Hi, gals.
00:52:38
I'm a huge fan and I'm sending so much love to y'all from Ohio.
00:52:41
Woo.
00:52:42
Again, relatable.
00:52:43
Mm-hmm.
00:52:44
I'm writing in this very morbid confession on behalf of my dog because she doesn't have thumb, so how could she be expected to send in her own story?
00:52:50
Oh, okay.
00:52:51
Stop pressuring her.
00:52:52
Are you guys?
00:52:53
Yeah, we are.
00:52:54
My name is Honey and I'm a one-year-old golden retriever.
00:52:57
Oh my God.
00:52:58
First, first, first.
00:52:59
No.
00:53:00
It's your first dog.
00:53:02
It feels like this can't be the connection, but one time Alexander did give me a challenge on beach to Sandy to read reviews written from the perspective of someone's pet.
00:53:12
And it was like the most cringeworthy, like, painful episode because I didn't like incredible.
00:53:17
My name is Roof.
00:53:18
And my mommy, like, it was-- No.
00:53:20
Then there were real reviews that people left on behalf of their pet.
00:53:23
Oh, really?
00:53:24
Yes.
00:53:25
And like, the negative ones were the craziest because it's like, it gave my tummy an owie.
00:53:28
And I was like, ah!
00:53:29
Like, it's-- Ew.
00:53:31
I hate the internet.
00:53:32
You guys.
00:53:33
It's untenable.
00:53:34
It is.
00:53:35
It's untenable.
00:53:36
It's untenable.
00:53:37
This show is unsustainable.
00:53:39
It's untenable.
00:53:40
I can't live like this anymore.
00:53:41
So anyway, now here I am doing it again.
00:53:45
Interesting.
00:53:46
Okay.
00:53:47
My name is Honey, and I'm a one-year-old golden retriever.
00:53:50
My owner and I live across the street from a very beautiful and well-maintained cemetery in Ohio.
00:53:55
Oh, I also lived on a cemetery in Ohio.
00:53:58
So this is starting.
00:53:59
How much research is going on in these deep dots?
00:54:02
The entry is creepy.
00:54:03
Do you have a golden retriever named Honey?
00:54:06
No.
00:54:07
Maybe I was a golden retriever named Honey.
00:54:09
It sounds like I'm taking this identity over past life.
00:54:13
We often take walks there because we enjoy the piece, and I'm allowed to run off leash because of the seclusion of the park.
00:54:18
On our evening walk a few nights ago, I stumbled upon a smell I enjoyed very much, and I simply needed to roll in it.
00:54:24
Oh, god.
00:54:25
I was a few paces ahead of mom, so I took the liberty of rolling my happy-ass in some unidentified liquid at the foot of a tomb.
00:54:33
Oh, my god.
00:54:34
Oh, my lord.
00:54:36
Oh, my lord.
00:54:37
Oh, my lord.
00:54:38
Oh, my lord.
00:54:39
My owner cut up to me.
00:54:40
Honey, you're disgusting.
00:54:41
You're disgusting.
00:54:43
This is horrible, honey.
00:54:45
A sweet golden retriever.
00:54:47
I'm so gross out.
00:54:49
This reminds me of those carpet cleaning commercials with the lady that's screaming at her golden retriever for dragging his ass on the carpet.
00:54:58
You just hear her screaming.
00:54:59
Toby!
00:55:00
Toby!
00:55:01
What?
00:55:02
I think I've seen that.
00:55:03
I don't think I've seen it either.
00:55:07
What?
00:55:08
I think this is iconic.
00:55:11
You don't even need to show us, I feel like whatever you just did was like exactly...
00:55:15
Toby!
00:55:16
Toby!
00:55:17
Tony or Toby?
00:55:18
Toby!
00:55:19
Toby's new trick.
00:55:20
Toby!
00:55:21
Toby's new trick.
00:55:22
Toby!
00:55:23
It's the Stanley Seamer commercial.
00:55:24
You guys see this?
00:55:25
I'm sorry.
00:55:26
Mom!
00:55:27
I know.
00:55:28
Big hands.
00:55:29
Hey, Mom!
00:55:30
Check out Toby's new trick.
00:55:32
Oh, my!
00:55:33
Toby!
00:55:34
Oh, holy shit.
00:55:35
That was like a real, that audition process to find the perfect...
00:55:45
Toby!
00:55:46
Wow, she really nailed it.
00:55:48
That's all.
00:55:49
Oh, my.
00:55:50
It's a happy dog.
00:55:51
Just scratching.
00:55:52
It's the last.
00:55:53
Toby!
00:55:54
It's so over the top.
00:55:55
It's like my favorite commercial of all time.
00:55:58
I got to go.
00:55:59
We're having a family emergency.
00:56:01
I'm texting this to our group chat so you have it later.
00:56:04
Because it's fucking iconic.
00:56:06
Bath and body works needs to take a page out of Stanley Seamer's work.
00:56:10
Seriously!
00:56:11
That's how you mark it.
00:56:12
That's how you fucking do it.
00:56:14
Mark and body works.
00:56:16
Jesus Christ.
00:56:17
I love how Lucy turned it into Tony.
00:56:19
Like that version too.
00:56:20
Tony!
00:56:21
Tony!
00:56:22
Tony!
00:56:23
Tony!
00:56:24
Tony!
00:56:25
Honey!
00:56:26
Honey's just rolling around in body fluids.
00:56:29
Oh, that's rough.
00:56:30
That is.
00:56:31
Let's see.
00:56:32
I was a few pages ahead of Mom.
00:56:34
So I took the liberty of rolling my happy ass in some unidentified liquid at the foot of a tomb.
00:56:39
My owner caught up to me and gave me a horrified look.
00:56:41
I felt like I went from Mom to my owner.
00:56:43
It's like she no longer identified as my mom after she broke it up with you.
00:56:47
She's really separated herself from me.
00:56:49
And she drops me off at the kennel when I haven't seen her so much.
00:56:53
I have a new family now.
00:56:56
She squealed, "OMG!
00:56:58
Honey!
00:56:59
No!
00:57:00
Honey!
00:57:01
Honey!
00:57:02
I feel like in the moment you would just channel the Tobey, the Stanley Stemer commercial.
00:57:11
As I kept rolling around in the liquid, she exclaimed, "No!
00:57:15
As I was indeed rolling in leaking dead body for mound-a-hide."
00:57:19
Ooh!
00:57:20
Wow.
00:57:21
I smash my face and neck.
00:57:22
Oh, you know how they do this?
00:57:24
Like with their heads.
00:57:25
You notice that when he finds like a sad animal, he'll like dive into it almost.
00:57:28
Oh my.
00:57:29
So nasty.
00:57:30
I smash my face and neck into that leaky tomb juice with a smile on my face, ear to ear.
00:57:38
I approached my owner and began to rub myself against her leg and apology and she gagged and whore.
00:57:44
We went home and I got hosed off in the yard and got a stern talking to.
00:57:47
I won't be allowed off leash in the cemetery ever again.
00:57:50
Good.
00:57:51
Good.
00:57:52
Oh my.
00:57:53
Wow, that was a lot.
00:57:54
Keep your legs and a leash.
00:57:55
There's a lot of reasons to keep your legs and a leash.
00:57:58
I don't even think it ever occurred to me that there would be just like fluids in a cemetery, like loose fluids.
00:58:04
I suppose it could happen.
00:58:05
I mean, except that this is like...
00:58:06
What do they know what's that?
00:58:07
What do they know?
00:58:08
Do they know it's not rain?
00:58:09
What?
00:58:10
I don't know.
00:58:11
Like it smelled really bad.
00:58:12
Well, it probably did.
00:58:13
I don't know.
00:58:14
So I don't know.
00:58:15
Regardless?
00:58:16
Nasty.
00:58:17
Regardless.
00:58:18
Not great.
00:58:19
A little spooky little bitch.
00:58:20
Yeah.
00:58:21
I love that.
00:58:22
That was just for you, Lucy.
00:58:23
Oh, yuck.
00:58:24
Oh, Kelly was such a roller.
00:58:36
Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:58:38
Kobe.
00:58:39
I know what happened.
00:58:40
And he just like dives and it's like, oh, it smells so bad.
00:58:42
Okay.
00:58:43
Myths of motherhood is this next one, which I'm assuming is, you know, because of my...
00:58:49
Yeah, motherhood.
00:58:50
You got one of them kids, Lucy got one of them kids.
00:58:54
Yeah, got one of the kids.
00:58:55
My spawn.
00:58:56
Thank you.
00:58:57
This isn't scintillating and it doesn't involve a crime or bodily fluids other than the ones required to make a baby.
00:59:04
Oh.
00:59:05
No.
00:59:06
Nice.
00:59:07
In 2014, at the age of 25, my husband and I welcomed our first son, Henry.
00:59:11
We conceived easily.
00:59:12
Pregnancy was easy.
00:59:13
Labor was not so easy, but we knew one thing.
00:59:16
We could easily make babies.
00:59:18
We dreamed of a sibling first, sweet boy and picked out names.
00:59:21
We moved into a larger apartment, which is no easy feat in Vancouver, B.C.
00:59:25
I worked part time on the weekends once Henry turned one and threw myself headfirst into motherhood.
00:59:31
Fast forward baby is 18 months and the sweetest, busiest little guy.
00:59:35
We decide to try again for baby number two.
00:59:37
We try and we try and we try IP on every stick.
00:59:40
We never see two lines, slowly but surely we start to worry.
00:59:44
It had been so easy.
00:59:45
What changed?
00:59:46
I see my OB-GYN and she decides I'm not ovulating properly after running some tests.
00:59:51
She tells me to lose weight and prescribes me medication to make me ovulate.
00:59:55
Three months and one chemical pregnancy later, we decided to see a fertility specialist.
01:00:00
My husband and I are both thoroughly checked over.
01:00:03
I'm diagnosed with PCOS.
01:00:04
This literally, this is what happened to me.
01:00:07
I was diagnosed with PCOS and I took, like, man, whoever's doing this research, I feel like I need to hire for some other alternate projects.
01:00:14
You said Andrew, you're doing this?
01:00:16
I'm like this is uned a canny, really terrifying we love her.
01:00:19
She's been scary for years.
01:00:21
I'm like a little scared.
01:00:23
Oh my lord.
01:00:24
Okay.
01:00:25
Yeah.
01:00:26
It feels like it.
01:00:27
I'm diagnosed with PCOS.
01:00:28
My husband with low sperm motility.
01:00:29
We're told we will need IVF to conceive again, but there is a catch, a horrible catch called BMI.
01:00:35
Fucking BMI.
01:00:36
Fucking BMI, first of all.
01:00:38
Racist bullshit.
01:00:40
Real.
01:00:41
It's whatever.
01:00:42
Well, yeah.
01:00:43
I agree.
01:00:44
Yep.
01:00:45
Throwing it back to one of my tall lady idols, Julia Childs, I'm just two tall at six foot one and with the frame of a Viking shield made in.
01:00:53
I love them.
01:00:54
By the way, that's who should be procreating, like, let's get some Viking women on this Earth, okay?
01:01:01
Serious.
01:01:02
Tall.
01:01:03
Come.
01:01:04
Broad.
01:01:05
Just strong.
01:01:06
Ready to fight the battles.
01:01:07
Straight up.
01:01:08
What's that?
01:01:09
Oh, she's like really famous.
01:01:10
U.S.
01:01:10
women's rugby team captain, like Alina Alina.
01:01:15
Yeah, I forget her name, Alana.
01:01:18
She's so fucking cool.
01:01:19
It's just, it's just like, there's a power to it, you know?
01:01:22
I think she was on, like, I think she was in sports illustrated, but, or some magazine, but she's wearing like really like sexy stuff and her body is just like incredible.
01:01:33
Amazing.
01:01:34
Like athletic.
01:01:35
Yeah, slamming bitch, she's just strong and she owns it.
01:01:39
I love it.
01:01:40
She could just like pick me up with one hand.
01:01:42
Anyway, I'll think about that one.
01:01:45
Anyway, so I'm six foot one and with the frame of a Viking shield made in.
01:01:50
I was told I morbidly obese, okay, I need to lose 35 pounds to be considered for IVF.
01:01:56
That may not sound like a lot.
01:01:57
No, it does.
01:01:58
Yeah, that's a lot.
01:01:59
But for someone who struggled with body image issues, as well as bingeing and restricting their whole life, it was a huge blow to my mental health.
01:02:04
Yeah, I mean, two months later, after severely destroying my mental health and restricting my eating, I had lost the weight.
01:02:12
We start the IVF cycle and I'm lucky enough to get pregnant on the first go.
01:02:16
My confession, I felt nothing.
01:02:18
No joy, no elation, absolutely nothing.
01:02:21
I walked through my life for the next few months, feeling like I was watching a movie of some random woman.
01:02:25
I didn't recognize myself.
01:02:27
I didn't feel joy.
01:02:28
I knew I loved my son fiercely and my world revolved around him in those hazy out of body months.
01:02:33
My life had been so mentally and physically drained by the process of getting pregnant that I just had nothing left.
01:02:38
I was so focused on getting pregnant and now I was, so why wasn't I happy?
01:02:43
When we had our first ultrasound, nothing.
01:02:45
When I first felt that baby kick, nothing.
01:02:48
My husband was so excited and I learned how to fake the reactions.
01:02:52
People wanted/expected from me.
01:02:54
I was numb.
01:02:55
Oh, this is heartbreaking.
01:02:56
Yeah, it is.
01:02:57
I mean, I get it and I remember like, when I was pregnant too, I had the same feelings because I was like, I don't want to get attached in case something goes wrong.
01:03:05
Right.
01:03:06
And I remember googling like, how to be happier.
01:03:10
I was like, is this normal?
01:03:11
But I have to imagine there's got to be, this person has to be dealing with some resentment for what they've had to put their body through to force yourself in that mold.
01:03:24
And that's fair.
01:03:25
Totally.
01:03:26
Totally.
01:03:27
And everyone in the fucking world is telling you that you should be experiencing all this joy and excitement and it is so fucking worse because you don't.
01:03:35
And then you've right.
01:03:36
Then the shame is like, oh, well, now I don't feel like there's a shame of, I should feel happier and excited.
01:03:42
Yeah.
01:03:43
Especially if you already have a kid so you've already kind of gone through that first one that's like, those are all a lot of emotions.
01:03:51
It's like new.
01:03:52
Yeah, although I went through IVF2 and just like all that, all the needles, all the medicine, all the calendars.
01:04:00
You're like counting days out of it.
01:04:02
It does take a lot.
01:04:04
It's a lot of like science and practicality and timing strategy.
01:04:08
Like Christine said, if something goes wrong, you don't want to be so devastated.
01:04:13
Like I remember being nervous when we painted the nursery.
01:04:16
Yes.
01:04:17
Same.
01:04:18
I pushed everything to like the last minute.
01:04:19
I was like, same thing.
01:04:20
I was like, I just don't feel excited overjoyed.
01:04:25
I don't think that this is an uncommon thing.
01:04:27
I don't think so either.
01:04:28
It makes me so glad that Andrea pulled this confession.
01:04:31
Agreed.
01:04:32
Agreed.
01:04:33
It's very relatable.
01:04:34
Talk about this shit.
01:04:35
Yeah.
01:04:36
I totally agree.
01:04:37
I totally agree.
01:04:38
There's nothing wrong with you.
01:04:39
No.
01:04:40
Yeah.
01:04:41
No, no, not at all.
01:04:42
And it's honestly very relatable and it does not make you a bad parent.
01:04:43
No.
01:04:44
I know this might sound like, might not sound like a confession, but for a mother it is.
01:04:48
Society expects us to act a certain way and have certain responses to wanted pregnancies.
01:04:52
This baby was so wanted.
01:04:53
We moved financial mountains and I endured the extremely invasive and uncomfortable IVF process all while being the primary caregiver for a toddler.
01:05:00
Oh my god.
01:05:01
Oh.
01:05:02
Don't worry.
01:05:03
No wonder you were disassociating from that.
01:05:05
Oh my god.
01:05:06
I would have disassociated.
01:05:07
And compartmentalized.
01:05:08
So hard.
01:05:09
Yeah.
01:05:10
This is an unimaginable pregnant and watching a toddler.
01:05:13
Like.
01:05:14
You need a lot of space to feel like joy like that.
01:05:18
Yes.
01:05:19
Agreed.
01:05:20
She doesn't have a lot of space, right?
01:05:21
Especially when everyone's pushing in on you.
01:05:22
Aren't you happy?
01:05:24
Yeah.
01:05:25
Eventually, I told my midwife and thank goodness for her.
01:05:28
She referred me to a reproductive mental health center.
01:05:31
They have changed my life and helped me be the mother I want to be.
01:05:35
Baby Charlie was born in 2018 surrounded by love.
01:05:38
He is a tiny mini me with big brown eyes and red hair.
01:05:41
Woo hoo.
01:05:42
That's so sweet.
01:05:43
He's a cheeky three-year-old now and keeps us all on our toes, especially his big brother.
01:05:47
He is our wild child.
01:05:48
The moral of my confession is normalize mental health struggles for pregnant folks.
01:05:52
Give folks going through infertility, the resources and support they need when they come out the other side of an often traumatic medical process and normalize mothers and all parents still being good parents when their mental health is wavering.
01:06:04
I was worried if I confessed my struggles.
01:06:05
I'd be labeled a bad mother and not worthy of my children.
01:06:09
The narrative of mothers being superheroes, though it's true.
01:06:11
We are.
01:06:12
What it says.
01:06:13
And it's also true on my account.
01:06:15
Needs to shift.
01:06:16
A high five when you're drowning in quicksand doesn't do shit.
01:06:20
Start the mothers around you and those struggling to become mothers hold space for all emotions and normalize mothers and all parents being able to vent openly about their struggles without stigma.
01:06:28
Hell.
01:06:29
Yeah.
01:06:30
Wow.
01:06:31
Wow.
01:06:32
That's very powerful.
01:06:33
I love that.
01:06:34
Yeah.
01:06:35
I love that too.
01:06:36
Yeah.
01:06:37
I was just talking to Lucy about this like a week ago that not a small part of my choice not to have children obviously my medical circumstances like really do limit my capacity to have kids.
01:06:52
And I had never really had a strong desire to be a mother.
01:06:55
So it wasn't like a challenging choice for me to make.
01:06:58
But the amount of love for this thing that is outside of you and the things that can happen is when that thing is inside and outside of you and the potential of loss and illness and accident and feel like I'm and the responsibility like oh and I'm the one who needs to make sure nothing happens.
01:07:26
Yeah.
01:07:27
It's too much for me.
01:07:28
It's too sorry.
01:07:29
And maybe you get hurt.
01:07:30
It breaks your heart.
01:07:31
Yeah.
01:07:32
I can't.
01:07:33
I am already a fucking emotional lunatic mess on any given day.
01:07:39
I look at my cat and I was going to send it to tears because I love her so much.
01:07:43
You should just cry about my dog.
01:07:45
Just about like I love my dog and I knew someday he will die and I would just sit there and solve about it.
01:07:50
And I'm like how am I ever going to have a job?
01:07:52
I have so much respect for you people who can take care of something so much to not only put your body and your health and your life at risk just to bring them into the world but then to be responsible for them and beyond the 18 years,
01:08:08
I mean, you have that love forever.
01:08:10
Right.
01:08:11
Right.
01:08:12
Right.
01:08:13
It's a big commitment.
01:08:14
No.
01:08:15
No.
01:08:16
Terrifying.
01:08:17
Yeah.
01:08:18
Good luck, ladies.
01:08:19
Yeah.
01:08:20
I don't blame you, man.
01:08:21
I don't blame you one bit.
01:08:22
Yeah.
01:08:23
Thank you so much.
01:08:24
So much.
01:08:25
I will be over here.
01:08:26
Great auntie and you have a lot of really cute babies and kids around you.
01:08:31
I love how this you just called you super old because you said a great, great auntie.
01:08:35
I'm a great, great auntie.
01:08:36
Great, great.
01:08:37
You're great.
01:08:38
Great, great auntie.
01:08:39
And I would truly take a bullet for any of those children, but still it's like I tend to be willing to take that bullet every fucking day from the moment your eyes open until the moment you pass out.
01:08:50
It's too much.
01:08:51
No, I can't.
01:08:52
I handle it.
01:08:53
My friends, I don't think playing to have kids and I feel like a lot like at least close friends from childhood.
01:08:58
And I feel like the ones who are most staunchly like, I don't think so are the most like emotionally vulnerable and like, what do you call it, um, introspective people and I'm like,
01:09:09
oh, okay, they really like, I know myself enough.
01:09:12
Yes, exactly.
01:09:13
Exactly.
01:09:14
So I think that's a power move.
01:09:15
I don't know if it's self.
01:09:16
Yeah.
01:09:17
Yeah.
01:09:18
I feel seen.
01:09:19
All right, well, those are our main feed confessions and if you want to experience Christine's bonus confession, you can join us over on our Patreon.
01:09:30
It'll be exciting because it looks like it has a beach to Sandy twist, whatever that means.
01:09:36
So head on over to Patreon to check that out.
01:09:39
Very well done, Christine.
01:09:41
Very well done.
01:09:42
Beautiful.
01:09:43
Beautiful red.
01:09:44
I was merely the channel, you know, that was a conduit.
01:09:48
I was a conduit through which these beautiful sagas were told, well, you fucking nailed it.
01:09:53
And now we're going to take one more quick ad break before we get to Lucy's usually terrifying and devastating coroner, coroner.
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01:13:05
Let's fucking do this.
01:13:06
Welcome back, Lucy.
01:13:09
I know that while you were in the Berkshires, we got bombarded with stuff for core and record.
01:13:18
It was wild.
01:13:19
So I'm curious to see if you included any of that.
01:13:22
Why was it in the Berkshires?
01:13:25
Okay, so full transparency, I haven't gone through all of the ones that came in when I was...
01:13:33
Okay.
01:13:34
So that might be...
01:13:35
Some of them might be for next.
01:13:36
Yeah.
01:13:37
I have a sneaking suspicion that most of those were for the obituary.
01:13:40
I'm about to read.
01:13:41
Yeah.
01:13:42
I think it was definitely an obit.
01:13:43
Okay.
01:13:44
Okay.
01:13:45
Cool.
01:13:46
All right.
01:13:47
All right.
01:13:48
Because I also...
01:13:49
I'm going to start with a story that my sister-in-law alerted me to last night and I went on twerk or tic-tac.
01:13:56
She know what I'm talking about.
01:13:57
I think I do.
01:13:58
Just like rhyme with "blawblart."
01:14:01
Paul Blas.
01:14:02
No.
01:14:03
No.
01:14:04
Sure does.
01:14:05
Okay.
01:14:06
So fuck.
01:14:07
I was unaware of this, but then I went down a goddamn rabbit hole.
01:14:11
And this just happened like a week and a half ago as we're recording this.
01:14:15
So we don't have a lot of details yet.
01:14:17
Hopefully you listener by the time this airs.
01:14:21
We have more answers.
01:14:22
We have more answers because it's fucked up.
01:14:26
And there are a lot of conspiracy theories on tic-toc.
01:14:28
So let's get into it.
01:14:30
This is an article from The Washington Post because I haven't unsubscribed yet.
01:14:33
Oh, LOL.
01:14:34
Yeah.
01:14:35
Same.
01:14:36
God.
01:14:37
Police.
01:14:38
I didn't realize that Jeff Bezos owned The Washington Post.
01:14:41
It's like one of those things that I knew in the back of my mind.
01:14:45
But then when I read it, I was like, "Oh, yeah."
01:14:47
Yeah.
01:14:48
Yeah.
01:14:49
We don't need that.
01:14:50
Police in Eastern Canada are investigating after a 19 year old woman was found dead inside a large walk-in oven.
01:15:01
Why that exists?
01:15:03
Like I get a walk-in freezer.
01:15:05
They have them in a lot of like Wal-Mart's with groceries, have a bakery section.
01:15:10
You put the trays.
01:15:11
Yeah.
01:15:12
Oh, I see.
01:15:13
I see they get a makeup off red.
01:15:14
Yeah.
01:15:15
But it's airy.
01:15:16
When Amber first told me this, I was like, "Why?"
01:15:18
That fucking regulation red tape prevented this from like existing.
01:15:26
But yeah.
01:15:27
When you have those big racks of bread, like an industrial scale bakery, like a Walmart bakery.
01:15:34
It's not necessarily meant for you to walk into it.
01:15:36
It's just large enough that a human being could walk into it.
01:15:39
So what's the big racks?
01:15:40
Gotcha.
01:15:41
It's tall.
01:15:42
But they keep referring to it as a walk-in oven and I'm just like, "Yeah, that, woo, walk-in oven."
01:15:48
But it's a large, it's not the size of a walk-in cooler.
01:15:53
Okay.
01:15:54
It's maybe like the ceiling shorter.
01:15:55
Like Amanda said, you're not supposed to actually walk into it.
01:15:58
It's not like it meant to be like in there for a walk, right?
01:16:01
But it's a big ass oven.
01:16:02
Okay.
01:16:03
So this happened in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
01:16:06
Never trust a Canadian.
01:16:09
No.
01:16:10
So the woman, an employee at the store who in this article was not publicly identified by police.
01:16:16
We do have her name now.
01:16:17
We'll get to it.
01:16:18
Was discovered inside the bakery department's oven on Saturday, October 19th, after police responded to a call around 9.30 p.m.
01:16:26
local time.
01:16:28
The exact cause of her death is still unknown.
01:16:31
Still as of today, Halloween, they have not released her cause of death.
01:16:37
Oh, God.
01:16:38
What?
01:16:39
So we still don't know if maybe she was put in there after an untoward event.
01:16:46
Or if she got trapped in there, but she was she was burnt up.
01:16:53
Oh, my fucking God at a Walmart at a Walmart.
01:16:58
Oh, it gets worse.
01:17:00
Had you not heard about this?
01:17:01
No, I haven't.
01:17:02
I'm like totally new to this story.
01:17:04
I intentionally avoided this under the suspicion that you were going to cover it.
01:17:08
I got you back.
01:17:09
I'm getting all this information, other than like the headline.
01:17:14
So the Halifax Regional Police also said the investigation quote is complex and involves several partner agencies and may take a significant amount of time to actually release some sort of facts.
01:17:25
Right.
01:17:26
That makes me think it's a murder situation.
01:17:32
Like they're investigating it as foul play.
01:17:35
Well, we don't know what they're investigating it as, but because because I think the body was so damn fucked that it might take a little while to to well,
01:17:46
and you also have like thinking about where it happened, like Walmart for sure has the money and power to be like, Oh, we want to keep this quiet.
01:17:55
You know, I mean, I'm sure they don't want this getting out either.
01:17:58
So I'm sure there's a lot of like to wait, this Walmart, I probably smell too.
01:18:04
Okay.
01:18:05
So this, this Walmart is closed until further notice.
01:18:08
I believe it is currently still closed.
01:18:10
And then two days after that Washington Post article, Fortune published this article.
01:18:16
The 19 year old Walmart employee who was found dead inside a Canada store bakeries walk in oven has been identified as a Gersimron core, according to a GoFundMe page created by a member of the Maritime Seek Society in Halifax.
01:18:31
So Gersimron was really involved with her faith and the Seek community.
01:18:38
And her mother had emigrated from India.
01:18:41
Well, I'll just keep reading this article.
01:18:44
Core's body was discovered October 19th at the Walmart a lot.
01:18:47
The woman who was an employee of the store was located in the large walk-in oven belonging to the bakery department.
01:18:53
It's important to note that the investigation has not yet reached a point where the cause and manner of death have been totally confirmed.
01:19:00
But you're right.
01:19:01
I mean, if her remains were so damaged, it could take a while to figure out.
01:19:08
So what the actual like legitimate cause of death.
01:19:12
Right.
01:19:13
I mean, hopefully they can figure it out.
01:19:14
I hope so too.
01:19:15
Because this family fucking deserves answers for what the fuck happened here.
01:19:19
So the worst part in my opinion is that Core's mother also worked at the Walmart and she was the one who found her daughter in the oven.
01:19:29
What?
01:19:30
Oh, no.
01:19:32
So she was, she kept calling her for like over an hour, could not reach her daughter over the phone.
01:19:38
That was very unlike her.
01:19:40
She couldn't find her in the store.
01:19:42
So oh shit.
01:19:43
Oh, I'm going to fucking cry.
01:19:45
Her GoFundMe page says quote, mother started panicking as it was unusual for her to switch her phone off during the day.
01:19:53
She reached out to the onsite admin for help.
01:19:55
As you all know now, her charred remains were found inside the walk-in oven in the bakery after a few hours.
01:20:01
They were looking at for her for a few hours.
01:20:04
That moment when you're like, oh, there's one place we haven't checked and it's like the worst place.
01:20:08
Oh my god, I can't think about it.
01:20:11
So they had both worked at this location for two years.
01:20:14
They had emigrated from India to Canada two or three years ago.
01:20:20
Core's father and brother are still in India and the Sikh society is working to bring them to Halifax as soon as possible.
01:20:27
That's good.
01:20:28
So she's alone right now as far as like immediate family.
01:20:31
Oh my god.
01:20:32
That's terrible.
01:20:33
Even that she has family with her now because this was published on like, this was published like a week ago.
01:20:40
Okay.
01:20:41
Okay.
01:20:42
And it said the online fundraiser has brought in over a hundred and forty thousand dollars in two days.
01:20:46
Good.
01:20:47
Good.
01:20:48
Good.
01:20:49
She needs that support.
01:20:50
Yeah.
01:20:51
So someone commented quote, no one should ever die at work and no one should ever see their child in that state.
01:20:54
Certainly not.
01:20:55
Yeah.
01:20:56
Walmart's closed, the maritime Sikh society is helping the local Sikh community grieve the loss and Walmart also offered like counseling services to their employees.
01:21:10
They don't know what happened.
01:21:12
So when I went down the TikTok rabbit hole, there are a whole bunch of Walmart employees showing their bakery ovens and how difficult it is to close the door if you were already inside and wondering that they were saying like,
01:21:30
you can't turn it on from the inside.
01:21:34
You can't.
01:21:35
It would be really difficult slash impossible to close it on yourself.
01:21:40
And you it's hard enough to open and close it even from the outside.
01:21:45
Like the three creators whose videos I watched were all female like kind of smaller frame but they but they were like, you have to like really jerk it open.
01:21:55
It just it really makes me think that she somebody hurt her.
01:21:59
I just put her in there to destroy evidence.
01:22:03
Yeah.
01:22:04
We don't know at this point.
01:22:05
So that is horrifically disturbing.
01:22:08
That's either way.
01:22:09
Yeah.
01:22:10
Terrific.
01:22:11
Oh my God.
01:22:12
This fucking poor family.
01:22:13
I can't even imagine.
01:22:14
It's just so.
01:22:15
I mean, like every death, every loss, especially when they're young is unimaginably awful and painful but when the circumstances turn and turn this dark and yeah,
01:22:29
grief is hard fucking enough as it is.
01:22:31
Exactly.
01:22:32
This kind of trauma.
01:22:33
Next level.
01:22:34
Yeah.
01:22:35
This is just like an explosion in your face.
01:22:37
Like I just don't know how I don't know if it's shocking enough to us to listen to.
01:22:41
I mean, I can't imagine having it happen.
01:22:44
Looking at it.
01:22:45
Yeah.
01:22:46
Yeah.
01:22:53
Again, hopefully by the time this airs, we have some more answers because as of today, this is the most that we know.
01:23:00
Mm-hmm.
01:23:01
Yeah.
01:23:02
And I mean, I don't, I don't fucking know if people in this area even really listen to this show, but like, I feel like this is a situation where someone fucking knows something.
01:23:12
So don't withhold information so that this family can get some fucking piece.
01:23:20
Mm-hmm.
01:23:21
Yeah.
01:23:22
Like, for her to die accidentally in this way, even if she for some reason intended to do this, it doesn't seem like she would have been able to.
01:23:31
Yeah.
01:23:32
It's the turning it on from the outside that so bizarre to me also.
01:23:36
Like, there's some pictures in that folder.
01:23:38
If you want to see some pictures of the oven, you can see how big it is.
01:23:42
And like the different, like, handles.
01:23:46
Interesting.
01:23:47
Oh, it's so sad.
01:23:49
Anyway, so that's that, and that is-- Thanks, Lucy.
01:23:55
That was great.
01:23:56
That was definitely the worst part of my segment.
01:23:58
Okay.
01:23:59
Mm-hmm.
01:24:00
Good.
01:24:01
Because-- Yeah.
01:24:03
Hi.
01:24:04
Now, I have a story of the exact opposite of that.
01:24:08
Okay.
01:24:09
I'm trying to think of what is the exact-- okay.
01:24:11
Tell me what you think the exact opposite of that story might be.
01:24:15
Somebody was born inside a freezer.
01:24:18
Yeah.
01:24:19
Something with a freezer.
01:24:22
Somebody gave birth in a freezer?
01:24:23
I don't know.
01:24:24
Well, there's a-- there's a parent child dynamic here as well.
01:24:30
And a freezer.
01:24:31
All right.
01:24:32
And then in Arizona, I told detectives he put his deceased father's body in a freezer and moved it around the state for four years.
01:24:41
What?
01:24:42
All to keep a roof over his head.
01:24:44
Oh, was he stealing like his social security checks or some shit?
01:24:48
It had to do with the house, the deed of the house, and the social security case.
01:24:53
Always.
01:24:54
Fucking always.
01:24:55
We see stories like this all the time.
01:24:57
Yeah.
01:24:58
Mm-hmm.
01:24:59
It shouldn't be so easy to just stash a dead relative and cash their social security check.
01:25:06
I'm so stupid.
01:25:07
I meant like a roof over the dad's head like in the freezer and I was like, oh, that's thoughtful.
01:25:13
Okay.
01:25:14
I get it.
01:25:15
Apart from the freezer itself, there was no roof over dad's head.
01:25:18
Gotcha.
01:25:19
Okay.
01:25:20
Gotcha.
01:25:21
Joseph Hill was arrested last week on multiple charges, including concealing a body in his backyard.
01:25:27
And it was just in the yard.
01:25:30
It was not plugged in.
01:25:32
Come on.
01:25:33
We'll get to it.
01:25:34
Oh.
01:25:35
I'm going to fucking puke.
01:25:36
Okay.
01:25:37
Yeah.
01:25:38
That defeats the whole point of a freezer, but sure, I guess it does.
01:25:39
Sure fucking does.
01:25:40
So be it.
01:25:41
And also failing to report the death of someone not under the care of a health care provider.
01:25:52
Yeah.
01:25:53
A bond of 25 grand was set for his release.
01:25:55
Preliminary hearing is scheduled for November 4th, so that will have happened by the time this airs.
01:26:00
Mm-hmm.
01:26:01
I can't wait.
01:26:02
The court documents obtained by CNN, Tempe police received an online tip on October 22nd alleging the 51-year-old Arizona native was keeping his dead father.
01:26:14
Ooh.
01:26:15
Wait.
01:26:16
It was an unplugged freezer outside in Arizona in the desert.
01:26:22
Mm-hmm.
01:26:23
I have to go.
01:26:25
It's really rough.
01:26:27
Thank you so much for having me today.
01:26:30
I'm fucking done.
01:26:32
It's been real.
01:26:33
Also, I read this as a period, it's definitely a comma.
01:26:37
So he was keeping his dead father, Joseph Hill senior, in a freezer in the backyard of his residence.
01:26:43
Whoa.
01:26:44
Whoa.
01:26:45
The tip describes the freezer to be covered in a tarp and blankets.
01:26:50
Like to what?
01:26:51
To conceal it.
01:26:52
I would imagine.
01:26:53
Pose here?
01:26:54
Yeah, I guess covered.
01:26:55
And the tarp could maybe help the smell or the tarp and look at the blanket.
01:26:59
Yeah.
01:27:00
I'm gagging.
01:27:01
Yes.
01:27:02
Whoever had to lift that first blanket.
01:27:04
Ooh.
01:27:05
We'll get.
01:27:06
Oh, we'll get that great.
01:27:07
We'll get.
01:27:08
Look at it.
01:27:09
Police visited Hill at his home that same day because they were like we should probably fucking address this.
01:27:14
But Joe didn't let him inspect the freezer because they just swung by and they were like, "Hey, can we like check out your yard?"
01:27:23
And he was like, "Nope."
01:27:24
Nope.
01:27:25
So then they filed like a thing, but that was the probable cause.
01:27:31
The statement that was stated because he was like, "No, you can't look at this freezer."
01:27:37
The defendant claimed his father passed away in Oregon four years ago.
01:27:40
I, he's in Oregon.
01:27:43
Detectives on the case attempted to verify the father's record of death, but were unable to do so.
01:27:49
They instead found records showing that the father was still the owner of the home and that he was collecting social security benefits up until March of 2023.
01:27:58
Y'all, this shit never fucking knows.
01:28:01
It's a sustainable long term.
01:28:02
No.
01:28:03
But I got away with it for a few years if you're lucky.
01:28:05
Mm-hmm.
01:28:06
But.
01:28:07
I'll catch up to you.
01:28:08
I have to.
01:28:09
Give it up.
01:28:10
So the cops went away.
01:28:11
Got a search warrant from a judge.
01:28:12
Came back a couple days later upon explaining the terms of the warrant.
01:28:19
So once it was explained to him that they can, indeed, go look at whatever the fuck they want.
01:28:24
It says, "Hills," quote, "demeter began to change."
01:28:27
You don't say, you know, I bet.
01:28:29
And he revealed that their quote would be something in the freezer.
01:28:34
Yeah, we know.
01:28:35
My God.
01:28:36
Yeah.
01:28:37
We, we kind of guessed that.
01:28:38
Bye.
01:28:39
Bye.
01:28:40
Oh, my God.
01:28:42
Yeah.
01:28:43
So after being read his Miranda Knights, Miranda writes, "Hill told police his father passed away at that residence four years ago.
01:28:51
The next day he said he bought a freezer with the intention of eventually burying his father in a plot of land he purchased in Strawberry, Arizona."
01:29:02
So the freezer was just a temporary thing.
01:29:06
Holding box.
01:29:08
Yeah.
01:29:09
Hill told police he didn't want to report his dad's death because he was not on the deed of the Tempe home and was afraid to just lose his house.
01:29:18
So he didn't report the death.
01:29:20
Over the past four years, oh my God.
01:29:23
Hill said he intermittently lost power in both his strawberry home and the Tempe residence due to fires, causing him to move the freezer around.
01:29:34
No.
01:29:35
Imagine being like, hey, on like next door or Facebook, like your local neighborhood thing.
01:29:41
Can anyone have a generator?
01:29:43
Yeah.
01:29:44
Like, oh, do you have like important like medical stuff?
01:29:47
You need.
01:29:48
Sure.
01:29:49
Yeah, my insulin.
01:29:50
100%.
01:29:51
I have a deep freezer full of insulin.
01:29:52
Yeah.
01:29:53
I can't look inside of it, but just don't check.
01:29:55
But also like, will you help me move it?
01:29:57
Yeah.
01:29:58
Really heavy.
01:29:59
Really heavy.
01:30:00
It smells a little funky, but that's just, but insulin does smell bad.
01:30:03
That's what insulin smells like.
01:30:05
Don't worry about it.
01:30:06
I mean, insulin smells like band-aids, like insanely intense band-aids smell.
01:30:09
Yes.
01:30:10
Really chemical.
01:30:11
It's a very specific smell, yeah.
01:30:12
Oh, yeah.
01:30:13
And I've gotten it on my tongue before and it sucks.
01:30:16
Ew.
01:30:17
But yeah, I was like, I was using insulin pens and you have to prep the needle of the pen.
01:30:22
A little dot of insulin on the end and I like shook it the dot off.
01:30:25
And it was like slow motion.
01:30:26
I was like, I never fucking close my goddamn mouth.
01:30:30
That's my own fucking problem.
01:30:31
I like saw it come at me like in slow motion.
01:30:34
And I was like, flew it in.
01:30:35
No.
01:30:36
No.
01:30:37
Yeah.
01:30:38
I didn't drink a lot of Diet Coke to wash that out.
01:30:42
You have something.
01:30:43
Anything.
01:30:44
Yeah.
01:30:45
Yeah.
01:30:46
Anyway, back to this.
01:30:47
I'm just going to eat this toothpaste.
01:30:48
Yeah.
01:30:49
I'm going to eat this too of this clandle, this really smell like the body works clandle.
01:30:55
Ew.
01:30:56
Oh, I hate it so much.
01:30:57
Okay.
01:30:58
I love this part.
01:30:59
Okay.
01:31:00
So he's moving the freezer around to these two different residences because they keep losing power.
01:31:03
Right.
01:31:04
On several occasions, he'll also attempted to bury the freezer in the desert.
01:31:09
But he claimed that there were quote, always people out there.
01:31:13
Won't they go away?
01:31:15
Don't they see him trying to bury my dead father?
01:31:17
They go further into the desert.
01:31:20
Yeah.
01:31:21
My man.
01:31:22
I call bullshit.
01:31:23
There's a lot of desert out there, guy.
01:31:27
You're in Arizona.
01:31:28
It's kind of desolate in like a lot of the only place where you could find a big chunk of desert with no people in it.
01:31:36
This man is an idiot.
01:31:38
Yeah.
01:31:39
Yeah.
01:31:40
So the freezer had been in his backyard without power for roughly four to six months.
01:31:46
No.
01:31:47
So he wrapped the freezer out on the outside, put the tarp over it and the blanket over there.
01:31:52
What?
01:31:53
He wrapped it with saran wrap and duct tape and then the blankets and then tarp.
01:32:14
This is so disturbing.
01:32:15
Okay.
01:32:16
They found human skeletal remains in the freezer as well as quote, an extensive amount of biological matter.
01:32:26
All the juice, all the sludge.
01:32:29
Don't tell honey the one-year-old golden retriever honey would be all over this.
01:32:34
He's open, honey.
01:32:36
The dog probably went to the backyard and was like, he's got something cool in that freezer.
01:32:41
I can smell it.
01:32:42
Honey was the tipster.
01:32:43
Honey brought me out.
01:32:44
Oh my God.
01:32:48
I'm trying not to throw up.
01:32:50
So they have yet to release an autopsy report that would determine this cause of death.
01:32:55
Again, we do not know what the actual cause of death was.
01:33:00
Isn't that weird that it is like the polar opposite of that?
01:33:03
Yes.
01:33:04
This is definitely one of those situations, though, where I fully believe the father died of old age natural causes and the son stashed him.
01:33:12
Like, if he's keeping him to keep his house and to keep his social security checks, that's not really motive for murder.
01:33:20
He had a good situation living with his dad in the first place.
01:33:23
Yeah.
01:33:24
That isn't what a lose.
01:33:25
This is almost like at a certain point you're like, uh, I've gone too far with this.
01:33:29
Like, I don't know what else.
01:33:31
Here's maybe like, oh my God, my ADHD time blindness.
01:33:34
I just stuck him out there and totally forgot he was there.
01:33:36
I'm sure it's been four years.
01:33:37
Four years?
01:33:38
That's not possible.
01:33:39
That's not possible.
01:33:40
I can't be right.
01:33:41
Just talk to him like two weeks ago.
01:33:43
Just face time with him the other day.
01:33:45
Oh.
01:33:46
Oh, God.
01:33:48
Okay.
01:33:49
So now I have the, what I'm assuming is the epic obituary for obituary area.
01:33:56
Uh-huh.
01:33:57
Okay.
01:33:58
I swear that I've read this already, but I think maybe I just read it on my phone while I was in the brochures because that was the email that kept getting coming through.
01:34:05
But anyway.
01:34:06
Here we go.
01:34:07
Robert Adolf, another fucking Adolf.
01:34:09
Boom.
01:34:12
In accordance with his lifelong dedication to his own personal brand of decorum, muttered his last unintelligible and likely unnecessary curse on October 6th, 2034,
01:34:23
shortly before tripping backward over a quote, some stupid motherfucking thing and hitting his head on the floor.
01:34:29
What?
01:34:30
This man is clearly beloved.
01:34:32
He died because he had, he fell in his head and they found him dead like later.
01:34:38
But apparently he was a real crank.
01:34:40
Yeah.
01:34:41
Sounds like it.
01:34:42
Some stupid motherfucking thing.
01:34:45
It's probably a clandle.
01:34:46
Probably was.
01:34:47
He probably was the guy who bought it for $360.
01:34:50
It's like $360.
01:34:51
Yeah.
01:34:52
Probably.
01:34:53
Robert was born in Winters, Texas to the late Walter Bome and Betty Smith on May 6th, 1950.
01:35:00
Imagine giving your child the middle name Adolf in 1950.
01:35:05
I had that exact same thought.
01:35:07
What the fuck?
01:35:08
Who at the hospital was like, sure, we're not going to ask questions.
01:35:12
No.
01:35:13
Jesus.
01:35:14
I didn't think about that.
01:35:15
Come on.
01:35:16
It's like I would understand like 1935 and it's like the war's kind of just ended.
01:35:22
Yeah, it's like a little bit more like people are still coming home.
01:35:26
I'm pretty sure you could still maybe go to jail for naming your child Adolf or something that feels like you're not okay.
01:35:32
Wow.
01:35:33
We heard.
01:35:34
May 6th, 1950 after which God immediately and thankfully broke the mold and attempted to cover up the evidence.
01:35:42
What?
01:35:45
Race Catholic.
01:35:46
There we go, another fucking Catholic.
01:35:49
Robert managed to get his wife Diane pregnant three times, fast enough to just barely miss getting drafted into the Vietnam War by fathering Michelle, John,
01:35:59
and Charlotte between 1967 and 1972.
01:36:04
Wow.
01:36:05
He was having kids just to stay out of the wheelchair.
01:36:09
Much later with Robert possibly concerned about the brewing conflict in Grenada, Charles was born in 1983.
01:36:16
Oh, we need another one.
01:36:20
Way later, that was in the first year, the first kid was born in '67, their last one was born in '83.
01:36:28
Wow.
01:36:29
That's what?
01:36:30
16 years.
01:36:31
Yeah.
01:36:32
I don't know.
01:36:33
Yeah, they had another kid in '72 and then won a 11 years later in '83.
01:36:37
It does feel calculated.
01:36:39
It does feel like it's nervous about Grenada.
01:36:41
Yeah.
01:36:42
As we all work.
01:36:43
I get it.
01:36:44
Yeah.
01:36:45
All of us who were very much alive in '98 were fondly.
01:36:48
Where were you?
01:36:49
What do you heard about Grenada?
01:36:51
I was giving birth to my son Edward.
01:36:55
This lack of military service was probably for the best as when taking up shooting as a hobby in his later years.
01:37:02
He managed to blow not one but two holes in the dash of his own car on two separate occasions.
01:37:09
Oh, no.
01:37:10
Which unfortunately did not even startle let alone surprise his dear wife Diane.
01:37:15
Was she in the car?
01:37:17
No.
01:37:18
I don't know where Diane was.
01:37:20
Who was much accustomed to such happenings in his presence and may actually have been safer in the jungles of Vietnam this entire time.
01:37:27
Oh my God.
01:37:28
Oh my God.
01:37:30
While the world was in conflict elsewhere, Robert made do by learning to roof maintain traffic lights in the city of Amarillo and eventually becoming a semi-professional truck driver not to be confused with a professional semi-truck driver.
01:37:48
Any additional context on what?
01:37:53
They're like figure that one out for yourselves.
01:37:55
He was just semi-professional as a truck driver, not a professional semi-truck driver.
01:38:02
Okay.
01:38:03
He's semi-professional is one of those words I feel like you could say about literally anybody about anything.
01:38:07
And what does it sound to mean?
01:38:09
Yeah.
01:38:10
It's kind of underhanded.
01:38:11
It's a dis.
01:38:12
Mm-hmm.
01:38:13
Yeah.
01:38:14
Robert's attention somewhat counterintuitively drifted to weapons of war, spanning the historical and geographical spectrum from the atalatel,
01:38:25
whatever that is, of 19,000 BC in France.
01:38:30
Oh, it's a bow.
01:38:32
A spear, a spear-thrower weapon.
01:38:36
Gotcha.
01:38:37
Okay.
01:38:38
So this is how to throw an apple atleast a hundred years old from 19,000 BC, okay.
01:38:44
To the jam-bock of 1830s, Africa, to the Mosin Nagant M1891 of World War II, Era Soviet Union.
01:38:56
Cool hobby, guys.
01:38:57
That was really hard for me to read.
01:39:00
Yeah.
01:39:01
You did great.
01:39:02
You did awesome.
01:39:03
So many examples of these mainstream hobbyist items, litter his small clarined in Texas apartment, that one of them may very well have been the item reference to the aforementioned eloquent final at the top.
01:39:13
That's what I was going to say.
01:39:14
You probably f*cking tripped over that.
01:39:16
Just atleast.
01:39:17
Atleattle.
01:39:18
Mm-hmm.
01:39:19
Some motherf*cking thing.
01:39:20
It happens.
01:39:21
It does.
01:39:22
A man of many interests, Robert, was not to be entranced by historical weapons alone, but also had a penchant for fashion, frequently seen about town wearing the latest trend in homemade leather moccasins,
01:39:36
a wide collection of unconventional hats, and boldly mismatched shirts and pants.
01:39:43
I know.
01:39:44
I'm so confused by this man.
01:39:46
I know.
01:39:47
I know.
01:39:48
Perplexing to me.
01:39:49
This is so confusing.
01:39:50
Robert also kept a wide selection of harmonicas on hand.
01:39:53
What?
01:39:54
Not to play personally, but to prompt his beloved dogs to howl continuously at odd hours of the night to entertain his many neighbors,
01:40:05
and occasionally, and occasionally to give to his many, many, many grandchildren and great grandchildren to play loudly during long road trips with their parents.
01:40:15
Oh my god.
01:40:16
That's like, you giving your nieces like drum kits and shit like that.
01:40:22
I did.
01:40:23
And a recorder.
01:40:24
Yes, so you order.
01:40:25
Sure they do.
01:40:26
Sure they do.
01:40:27
Earlier this year, in February, God finally showed mercy upon Diane, getting her the hell out of there for some well-earned peace and quiet.
01:40:35
Oh my god.
01:40:36
So Diane died.
01:40:37
Diane died earlier this year.
01:40:39
Oh my god.
01:40:40
And mercifully took her off of this plane of sometimes death is a mercy.
01:40:44
Getting her the hell out of there.
01:40:47
She's been waiting.
01:40:48
Without Diane to gleefully entertain, Robert shifted his creative focus to the entertainment of you, the fine townspeople of Clarendon, Texas.
01:40:58
What?
01:40:59
Over the last eight months, if you have not met Robert or seen his road show yet, you probably would have soon.
01:41:06
What?
01:41:07
The details on the road show?
01:41:09
No.
01:41:10
I thought there was going to be like a whole pamphlet coming up with it.
01:41:13
We are left to wonder.
01:41:17
We have all done our best to enjoy slash weather, Robert's antics up to this point, but he is God's problem now.
01:41:25
Oh my god.
01:41:28
Robert's farewell tour will be held on Monday, October 14th at Memorial Park Funeral Home and Amarillo, the family encourages you to dust off whatever outdated or inappropriate combination of clothing you have available to attend,
01:41:42
a tip jar will be available in the front.
01:41:45
Flours are also acceptable.
01:41:48
Wow.
01:41:49
Okay.
01:41:50
First of all, wear your finest homemade moccasins to funeral, whatever a homemade moccasins.
01:41:55
I imagine he's just like stitching pieces of leather together.
01:41:59
I have homemade moccasins.
01:42:00
Do you really?
01:42:01
Yeah.
01:42:02
My dad made him.
01:42:03
I'm worrying.
01:42:04
I'm worrying some right now.
01:42:05
Oh my god.
01:42:06
Okay.
01:42:07
Do you not have homemade moccasins?
01:42:08
Yeah.
01:42:09
What's wrong with me?
01:42:10
Clearly, I'm not listening.
01:42:11
I'm not wearing the ones your dad made, but a listener made us these.
01:42:13
Oh.
01:42:14
Oh yeah.
01:42:15
Well, hell yeah.
01:42:16
Those are beautiful.
01:42:17
I was picturing like just this guy in his garage, just like pretending he could sew.
01:42:22
Well, my dad's super glued together some rabbit pelts and made June some homemade moccasins and I will send you a picture of those very nice.
01:42:30
Very nice.
01:42:31
That is more in line with what you're picturing.
01:42:32
Maybe a little bit more down what I was imagining.
01:42:35
I mean, I just, this road show alone, I mean, what if this big funeral is part of the road show?
01:42:40
And it's just like this is all...
01:42:41
I mean, that would be part of the picture.
01:42:43
That would be part of the picture.
01:42:44
Yeah, exactly.
01:42:45
The picture, etc.
01:42:46
Wow.
01:42:47
I love it.
01:42:48
I can't tell if the family like hates him or loves him.
01:42:51
But what?
01:42:52
It's unclear.
01:42:53
It's unclear.
01:42:54
It's unclear.
01:42:55
It's like they get like really kind of in the, in the like details about like, no, he kind of sucked.
01:43:01
And they're like, he's God's problem now.
01:43:03
He's God's problem now.
01:43:04
Is why he finally escaped?
01:43:06
Forcibly dies.
01:43:07
Yeah.
01:43:08
Alright.
01:43:09
Here's the, and I just set you a picture of the moccasins.
01:43:13
Oh, I'm coming up to you.
01:43:15
They're raggedy.
01:43:16
That's definitely.
01:43:17
Oh, my gosh.
01:43:19
Okay, but I, okay.
01:43:21
They're cute.
01:43:22
Actually, she's really working them.
01:43:24
The butt.
01:43:25
She really is.
01:43:26
The butt.
01:43:27
Oh, those are cute.
01:43:28
Oh, those are cute.
01:43:30
I'll connect you with my dad and he can make you take back everything I said.
01:43:33
Yeah.
01:43:34
I know you want these.
01:43:35
Oh, my gosh.
01:43:36
I love it.
01:43:37
Wow.
01:43:38
Well done.
01:43:39
Yeah.
01:43:40
Well done.
01:43:41
The best obituaries are the one that like leave you with so many unanswered questions.
01:43:42
So don't give me all the details.
01:43:45
But make sure you tell me if his name is eight off because that also somehow has something to do with it.
01:43:52
But I don't know what exactly.
01:43:53
I think a peppering in of like really confusing, yeah, details, like unrelated, seemingly unrelated.
01:44:02
An excellent obituary.
01:44:03
Agreed.
01:44:04
Agreed.
01:44:05
Especially when you're like, you guys get it and it's like nobody gets it.
01:44:08
You know what I'm talking about.
01:44:10
You get it.
01:44:11
You've seen his profile.
01:44:12
Classic Adolf.
01:44:13
Classic Adolf.
01:44:14
Oh.
01:44:15
The whole town of Clarendon knows about this guy.
01:44:20
You, the dear town, people of Clarendon deck, wow, I hope certainly I hope his, oh, I found a picture of him.
01:44:29
Yeah.
01:44:30
Yeah.
01:44:31
He's kind of goofy looking too.
01:44:32
Oh, yeah.
01:44:33
I'm sure you have it in that folder.
01:44:34
Wow.
01:44:35
Service was a harmonica filled dog, howl, filled Adolf, Adolf, filled celebration.
01:44:41
Adolf.
01:44:42
I don't know.
01:44:43
The fucking thing.
01:44:44
I hope no one tripped.
01:44:45
My favorite is that he like avoided the war many times and then got really into war weaponry.
01:44:50
He's like ripped over it.
01:44:51
Yeah, right.
01:44:52
And it killed him.
01:44:53
Like I feel like he had some weird premonition that he'd be killed by like a weapon of war.
01:44:57
And then like it, so he didn't go to war.
01:44:59
It just happened in his own garage.
01:45:01
It's just so dramatic.
01:45:02
That is my favorite theory I've ever heard.
01:45:03
That's so full circle.
01:45:05
It feels correct.
01:45:07
And correct.
01:45:08
And yet four kids.
01:45:09
Oh, so many grandkids, a great, great kids.
01:45:14
So many harmonicas.
01:45:15
Oh my god.
01:45:16
Oh my god.
01:45:17
Lived.
01:45:18
To a life very much live.
01:45:19
And thank you so much for joining us today.
01:45:21
This has been such a treat.
01:45:23
I'm actually really sad that I have to leave now, but we have a group chat now, so.
01:45:29
I know.
01:45:30
Right.
01:45:31
We have a lot to keep up with.
01:45:32
And I'm for sure going to be invested in a lot of the things we discussed today.
01:45:36
Tell the people where they can find you.
01:45:38
And do you have any fun and exciting projects tours?
01:45:40
Anything that you want to.
01:45:41
It's like your producer could find me.
01:45:43
Oh, yeah.
01:45:44
Yeah.
01:45:45
And you can find fucking fun.
01:45:46
But if you don't have access to her, you can find me at X Teen Sheeper on social media.
01:45:54
You can listen to it.
01:45:55
And that's why we drink anywhere you listen to fine podcasts.
01:45:58
You can listen to beach.
01:45:59
She see any water to it.
01:46:00
That's the more, that's the less traumatic one.
01:46:02
It's more comedy focus sometimes.
01:46:07
And yeah, that's pretty much it.
01:46:08
I love it.
01:46:09
Yeah.
01:46:10
Thank you, guys.
01:46:11
This is a dream come true.
01:46:12
I love you so much.
01:46:13
Come back anytime.
01:46:14
No, it's amazing.
01:46:15
Nobody was mad.
01:46:16
Nobody is mad.
01:46:17
And I am so glad you joined us today, regardless of what everyone else says.
01:46:22
Regardless of what everyone said.
01:46:24
You look awesome.
01:46:25
You look amazing.
01:46:26
You're really owning it.
01:46:27
You're owning it.
01:46:28
It's just so proud how you use it.
01:46:30
You're so great.
01:46:31
You're so great.
01:46:32
You're so great.
01:46:33
You're so great.
01:46:34
You're so great.
01:46:35
You're so great.
01:46:36
You're so great.
01:46:37
You're so great.
01:46:38
You're so great.
01:46:39
You're so great.
01:46:40
You're so great.
01:46:41
You're so great.
01:46:42
I wish I could do that.
01:46:43
What?
01:46:44
I wish I could do that.
01:46:45
What?
01:46:46
I wish I could do that.
01:46:47
What?
01:46:48
I wish I could do that.
01:46:49
What?
01:46:50
I wish I could do that.
01:46:51
What?
01:46:52
I wish I could do that.
01:46:53
What?
01:46:54
I wish I could do that.
01:46:55
What?
01:46:56
I wish I could do that.
01:46:57
What?
01:46:58
I wish I could do that.
01:46:59
What?
01:47:00
I wish I could do that.
01:47:01
What?
01:47:02
I wish I could do that.
01:47:03
What?
01:47:04
I wish I could do that.
01:47:05
What?
01:47:06
I wish I could do that.
01:47:07
What?
01:47:08
I wish I could do that.
01:47:09
What?
01:47:10
I wish I could do that.
01:47:11
What?
01:47:12
I wish I could do that.
01:47:13
What?
01:47:14
I wish I could do that.
01:47:15
What?
01:47:16
I wish I could do that.
01:47:17
What?
01:47:18
I wish I could do that.
01:47:19
What?
01:47:20
I wish I could do that.
01:47:21
What?
01:47:22
I wish I could do that.
01:47:23
What?
01:47:24
I wish I could do that.
01:47:25
What?
01:47:26
I wish I could do that.
01:47:27
What?
01:47:28
I wish I could do that.
01:47:29
What?
01:47:30
I wish I could do that.
01:47:31
What?
01:47:32
I wish I could do that.
01:47:33
What?
01:47:34
I wish I could do that.
01:47:35
What?
01:47:36
I wish I could do that.
01:47:37
What?
01:47:38
I wish I could do that.
01:47:39
What?
01:47:40
I wish I could do that.
01:47:41
What?
01:47:42
(upbeat music)
01:47:45
(upbeat music)
01:47:47
(upbeat music)
01:47:50
(upbeat music)
01:47:53
(upbeat music)
01:47:55
(upbeat music)
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(upbeat music)
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(upbeat music)
01:48:03
(upbeat music)
01:48:06
(upbeat music)
01:48:08
(upbeat music)
01:48:11
(upbeat music)
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(upbeat music)
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(upbeat music)
01:48:18
(upbeat music)
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(upbeat music)
01:48:24
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(upbeat music)
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01:48:44
[BLANK_AUDIO]
01:48:54