Episode 12: Routines, Chaos Buffers, and Why Your To-Do List Is a Hydra
Update: 2025-09-26
Description
Matt and Erin dig into the everyday architecture of autistic life — routines, habits, systems, and the sacred chaos buffers that keep us from falling completely apart when the coffee runs out. We unpack why neurotypical “just make it a habit” advice fails us, how to tell the difference between Herculean and Sisyphean tasks, and why living well often means burning the rulebook (and maybe the lawn mower).
We cover:
- The fragility of “The Order” and how a missing step can nuke your whole day
- Menu vs. strict-sequence systems (and why both are valid)
- Externalizing executive function with whiteboards, magnets, and chaos-time planning
- Rejecting useless expectations (separating laundry by color, wearing socks, ironing, etc.)
- Sensory preferences as valid life-design choices
- Internalized ableism and the lie that you “should” try harder
- Settling for good enough, baby steps, and wobbling toward your goals
Also: Dino nuggies as the pinnacle of predictable joy, clover lawns for zero mowing, Peppa Pig house tours, and why Marie Kondo changed her tune after having kids.
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