In this conversation, Nick Clason (Hybrid Ministry) and Josh Boldman (Download Youth Ministry) discuss the importance of partnering with parents in youth ministry. Josh gives 10 tips from the perspective of a parent NOT working at a church. Several tips are incredibly Hybrid, and best of all, it's not going to add anymore work to your plate!

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🕰️TIMECODES

00:00 Why Partnering with Parents?

02:52 Tip #1

4:34 Tip #2

05:22 Tip #3

06:04 Tip #4

08:55 Tip #5

10:18 Tip #6

13:02 Why does starting on time honor parents?

14:26 Tip #7

15:03 Tip #8

15:47 Tip #9

17:33 Tip #10

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TRANSCRIPT

Nick Clason (00:00 .93)

Well, so here we are. And Josh, you might be the most frequented guest now on the Hybrid Ministry podcast, which with all I would, I think I sent you one actually. So, so yeah. But today I've been asking people like, what do you feel like you're kind of like an expert on? So we're in this kind of mini series called How I, and so you said, let's talk about partnering with parents. And so.

Josh Boldman (00:06 .494)

Yes Do I get a jacket like do I get a like there's like a that's true actually, you know, that's fair

Josh Boldman (00:29 .991)

Yeah.

Nick Clason (00:31 .124)

over all your different years of experience, what do you feel like uniquely positions you from a mindset or experience-wise or whatever about this idea of partnering with parents?

Josh Boldman (00:38 .9)

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah, so I mean, over the course of 20 years in youth ministry, I did the traditional route of before I had a kid, feeling like I knew everything more than any of the parents. Like I was way smarter than them. And then I had my own kid, and then I was able to actually have the blessing of having my own kid in my own ministry. And then recently have now,

Nick Clason (00:55 .712)

yeah.

Nick Clason (01:03 .937)

Mmm.

Josh Boldman (01:08 .465)

like a life stage where my kid is a part of a ministry that I do not lead. And so it's like, there, that's what I should have. Okay, those are the questions that I now have that I should have been answering.

Nick Clason (01:13 .358)

Hmm.

Nick Clason (01:19 .904)

I do actually think that's a really, really fascinating perspective and one worth exploring. So what are a couple of principles or takeaways, especially in the lane of I'm a youth pastor veteran, I work for a youth ministry company, but as a parent, as a customer, so to speak, of this youth group, like what do you wish you were getting back from the youth ministry?

Josh Boldman (01:23 .826)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Josh Boldman (01:35 .303)

Mm-hmm.

Josh Boldman (01:42 .291)

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's something that every youth minister needs to remember is that you are ministering to a family and not just to a student. Hands down, because like a student is a product, I mean, not entirely, but like they're a product of their family, right? Their parents. when you talk, you talk to a kid, half the things they say are things that they have either heard their parents say or they've

Nick Clason (01:53 .965)

Mm-hmm.

Nick Clason (02:02 .028)

Yeah.

Josh Boldman (02:11 .835)

or are in like rebellion against something that their parents have said, right? So like, so like the better that you know the parents, the better you are going to know the student. And whether that that kid has a awesome relationship with their parents or a terrible relationship with their parents or no relationship with their parents, whoever it is at home that takes care of them, that makes them feel safe. You are on the same team with that person, whether you know them or not.

Nick Clason (02:15 .598)

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Nick Clason (02:22 .446)

Hmm.

Nick Clason (02:30 .702)

Mm-hmm.

Josh Boldman (02:41 .583)

And it, it, it, I will be as blunt as I can be in saying if, you're on the same team as that, of those people and you don't know them, that is dumb. Like it just don't, don't put yourself in a position of being on a team with someone you don't even know.

Nick Clason (02:50 .563)

Yeah.

Nick Clason (02:56 .28)

So you've worked in some larger contexts, let's say. How would you recommend someone who has a youth group of 50 students with, let's say, 50 unique family units? so probably more than 50 because siblings, whatever. How do they get to know parents? Because I would imagine the pushback from a youth pastor is like, well, I try. have a well, and we have meetings and they never come to the meetings and all this stuff like what. So.

Josh Boldman (03:00 .646)

Yep.

Josh Boldman (03:08 .23)

Yeah, yeah, Uh-huh.

Josh Boldman (03:17 .757)

Yep, I can't know them all yet.

Josh Boldman (03:24 .465)

Yeah. Yeah.

Nick Clason (03:24 .812)

We've all been there, we've all experienced it. what, as a parent now on the other side, give us some tips.

Josh Boldman (03:30 .418)

Yeah, yeah, I would say one, especially if you're talking about a middle school ministry, do check in at the beginning of the night and be at the check-in station. And I know that seems so like antithetical to like, I should be hanging out with the kids. you know, yes, that's great. Go play nine square, go play gaga ball, whatever, but spend some time at check-in because especially if they're in sixth, seventh, eighth grade, their parents are going to probably walk in with them.

Nick Clason (03:42 .775)

Mm-hmm.

Nick Clason (03:51 .938)

Yeah.

Nick Clason (03:56 .471)

Right.

Josh Boldman (04:00 .274)

Like, so that's a great opportunity. but even if it's not then like clock the times that, know, like, Hey, when are my best opportunities to meet this parent? And it's, it's almost always going to be a drop-off pickup. Um, we, know, sometimes we'll do like, uh, you know, depending on like the layout of your building and how close the room is to the actual parking lot. Like, um, we used to do a thing where we'd have somebody inside with a walkie talkie and somebody outside with a walkie talkie. So what a parent would pull up.

they would say, hey, I'm here to pick up Johnny. And so the person on the radio would be like, Johnny. And so then we'd call Johnny's name inside. I was like, why am I not the person outside with the walkie talkie? Like go be that person talking to the parent. you know, that, you know, and, plus one of the best things you can do in that situation is they're like, Hey, I'm here to pick up Johnny. You can be like, dude, Johnny's awesome. Like, let me tell you about Johnny. Johnny is so stinking cool. Yup. Yeah.

Nick Clason (04:30 .774)

Hmm.

Nick Clason (04:40 .906)

Yeah, that's so smart.

Nick Clason (04:50 .902)

Yeah, and what parent doesn't want to hear that about their kid?

Josh Boldman (04:56 .562)

Oh yeah, cause think of every