The fae tune in to Helena in a Handbasket to see who'll win their bet--will Lysander move in along with Hermia?

To read the full scripts, check out the show notes at: https://a-midsummers-quarantine.captivate.fm

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Episode Two:

Serpent’s Tongue

Cast

(In Order of Appearance)

Puck -- JOE CRUZ

Oberon -- TREVOR SCHECHTER

Helena -- AMELIA KINCH

Demetrius -- TONY WOODS

Hermia -- JACI SZILAGYI

Lysander -- GREG CARROBIS

Titania -- AVALON WILLOWBLOOM

Scene One

INT. PENTHOUSE

TITANIA

How long before it's live?

OBERON

Oh my dear, did something happen to your watch? Or your eyesight, to read the clock in the kitchen?

TITANIA

No. I merely assumed you'd be checking their status on social media every 45 seconds. Am I wrong?

OBERON

It's about five minutes less than last time you asked me.

PUCK

She's not wrong, then.

OBERON

And you, my dear? Are you not watching the road for the moving truck?

TITANIA

I am not, no.

[Guitar tuning]

I simply prefer to tune my guitar here, and this chair happens to be next to the window.

PUCK

Of course, you wanted the spot with the worst possible acoustics.

[Annoyed guitar tuning]

TITANIA

And you, my love? Was that your way of asking if I've seen the moving truck yet?

OBERON

[Starts to answer but Titania plays a guitar riff as soon as he does]

I'm merely--

[Guitar]

Titania--

[Guitar, louder]

Well, it's understandable that we both want to know the results of our wager!

[She lets him finish that sentence]

Especially since I'm going to--(win)

[Longest guitar riff]

PUCK

[giggles]

Hey, is that them?

TITANIA

That's an ice cream truck.

PUCK

You don't know what Lysander drives.

TITANIA

He doesn't drive at all, according to my friend Cobweb.

OBERON

I'm sorry, what? Cobweb?

TITANIA

Yes?

OBERON

Lysander's been communing with a muse friend of yours and you're just now mentioning this?

TITANIA

I have, in fact, mentioned it before. It's hardly my fault your memory is fading with age.

OBERON

My memory is not-- Hey! We made a bet, and you have inside information?

TITANIA

[patient and smug]

We all have inside information, we've been listening to their conversations live on air.

OBERON

You know what I mean! It's hardly a fair wager, if you have information I don’t.

TITANIA

[Dropping smugness for a moment] 

Oh, relax. All I’ve learned from Cobweb is that he’s flighty and “ethically slutty”, which you should have been able to figure out on your own. 

[Smugness back!] 

But my dear, if you fear losing to me, you need only say. We can come up with some...forfeit.

OBERON

[Sputters]

I'm NOT saying any such thing! I'm just saying...

[Doesn't know what he's saying]

I'm just saying the odds should be adjusted, and my winnings increased when Lysander doesn't move in after all.

TITANIA

The wager has been made. Robin, dearest, what do you think?

PUCK

In a way, you're both right.

OBERON

What?

PUCK

She did tell you, Oberon. About Cobweb. And you shook on the wager.

OBERON

Whose side are you on?

PUCK

But really, Titania, what would it hurt to promise more? If you're so sure of yourself?

[Threatening riff.]

PUCK

[amused]

Oh hey, looks like it's going live!

Scene Two

Setting: Mortals’ apartment.

HELENA 

Goooood morning listeners! Today’s the day! It’s move-in day! 

DEMETRIUS 

Whoa, hey, watch the ladder! 

HELENA

Sorry, sorry! Are the streamers too much? Here, take the tape. 

DEMETRIUS

Thanks. And no, not ‘too much’, so much as uhm… 

HELENA

What? What is it?

DEMETRIUS

Streamers are pretty visual. As are the balloons. And banners. And confetti rigs. 

HELENA

So? It’s been five years since I’ve seen Hermia in person, and I’ve known her since we were both 14! I want it to be a big occasion. Therefore, our audience should know we’re celebrating! 

DEMETRIUS 

No, sure, yeah, that makes sense. But… But we’re broadcasting audio only, right? 

HELENA 

Right. 

DEMETRIUS

So… 

[beat, as Demetrius realizes Helena is not following] 

Y’know what, never mind! I’m sure it’ll make the occasion feel extra special. 

HELENA

Exactly! Plus, when she sees this dashing man putting up banners? She’ll be all over you. C’mere I’m going to roll up your sleeves. There, better. You’ll want to flex a little bit. Carrying textbooks everywhere paid off! Show her you’re not some nerd! 

DEMETRIUS

I feel objectified. 

HELENA 

Dimi, you trust me, right?

DEMETRIUS 

With all my heart.

HELENA 

Then trust me. Now, for conversation topics, you can check the chart I made for you. It’s in your email. Otherwise, just r