Dear Swiss Cheese,

I am writing you today because there is something I must ask of you. Now, I know that you and I have had our differences in the past. We haven't always gotten along. In fact, of all the cheeses, you just happen to be my very least favorite, with your awkward holes and your mildly nutty flavor. So, you can imagine how difficult it is for me today to swallow my pride and ask of you a favor. You see, Swiss Cheese... I love my Ham. No, I mean, like, I REALLY love it... and lately, I've been getting this vibe from you that you might be trying to come between me and my Ham. Truth be told, Swiss Cheese, I just don't know if I can compete. If push came to shove, I don't know for sure if my Ham would pick you over me. I couldn't take it, Swissy, I just couldn't TAKE it if my Ham were to leave me! I'd die inside! Living a life without it's salty meatiness... bologna would just never suffice. So please, Swiss Cheese... I'm begging of you... please don't take my Ham.

Sincerely,
Annie

Musical Guest:

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes performing "Jolene" and "End of the Road"

Impromptu Songs:

* Swiss Cheese
* Danny's Song, as sung by Abe Lincoln and Jimmy AF Venable (deleted from actual show due to terrifyingness)

Tales of Wonder:

* Annie and Colleen share their families' favorite traditional ways to stuff themselves silly during the holidays
* The PARROT BAG!
* The Cranberries' "Linger"- true meaning exposed!
* Cool new fan art!

Most Memorable Lines Taken Out of Context:

* "Matchmaker, matchmaker give me a Mikey Give him big hair, make it all spikey!"
* "Even though your nose is runny, I'm so in love with ya honey..."
* "That's a great way to start your Christmas... with clam gas."