Where is the line between healthy support and co-dependence? Can we reasonably put restrictions on our partner's behaviour? Can we expect our partners to care for us, including our own 'inner children'? How do we become a team and work together well?

These are some of the questions we explore in this episode of the podcast (in rough order, so you can skip through and find them)

- Dangers of labels and diagnosis

- Wise Kind Adult vs Triggered Child

- Taking time outs in difficult conversations, with a clear re-connection time

- The power of eye contact and touch

- Valuing vulnerability and empathy

- Three key questions to bring us back into our Wise Kind Adult (Fear, Desire, Love)

- Supporting each other's inner children

- Boundaries as part of care and love (halfway through podcast)

- The role of anger

- Trust, dependence and support

- Agreements and Restrictions

- Traumatsing vs discomfort

- Protecting our partners like a beast

- Promoting safety and communicating discomforts isn't weak

Things and people we referenced in the podcast

• Esther Peral: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Esther_Perel


• Stan Tatkin: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stan_Tatkin


• The Yes Brain Book: https://drdansiegel.com/book/the-yes-brain/


• Jamie's Work: https://www.jamiecatto.com/


• Neil's 8-Week Online Course: Building Secure Attachments: https://www.positively-mindful.com/groups.html


• Neil's blog about re-parenting: https://www.positively-mindful.com/blog/reschooling-and-reparenting-heal-and-train-yourself-like-a-kitten