Forget a lump of coal. Trump put Democrats’ coal on a conveyor belt and fed it directly into their stockings like he’s firing up a steel mill. This is industrial punishment, OSHA-approved, with a grin that says, you earned every ounce of this.

Honestly, did I miss a sequel to Die Hard? One where Santa swaps the sleigh for tactical boots and starts muttering about consequences? Because Santa is on a rampage. Somewhere between Rambo: First Blood and Silent Night, Santa and Rambo must have signed a mutual aid agreement. Red suit. Green beret energy. And yes, Santa has issued a full-blown fatwa on Democrats and their political minions.

Democrats know it too. You can see it in their faces. This is the look of people who know they’re skipping Christmas this year. If you were a Democrat, would you even bother putting up a tree? Why waste the ornaments when the whole thing is going to get shaken down for evidence? Hanging stockings feels optimistic, like leaving milk and cookies for the repo man.

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