Think your sex drive has disappeared in midlife? You might be surprised to learn that “sex drive” isn’t even real.

Visit Menopause Care for more info on navigating menopause and sex & relationships: https://bit.ly/4mLlrT3

In this episode of Is It Hot In Here?, Dr Naomi Potter sits down with Dr Karen Gurney, a clinical psychologist, psychosexologist, and bestselling author to reveal what women in their 40s, 50s and beyond really need to know about improving their relationships.

From how much sex you should actually be having, to what we've all got wrong about desire, Karen shares practical advice that every midlife woman should hear.

If you’ve ever worried your sex life is 'broken', this episode will change how you think — and help you rediscover confidence and enjoyment in the bedroom. And it doesn't even have to be tricky! Listen along, take some notes, and be prepared for an almost-instant improvement!

Stay up to date with Is It Hot In Here? podcast on Instagram: @podcast_naomipotter

Follow Dr. Karen Gurney below:

Karen's Instagram: @thesexdoctor

Karen's clinic: https://thehavelockclinic.com/

Follow Dr. Naomi Potter below:

Naomi’s Instagram: @dr_naomipotter

Naomi’s TikTok: @dr_naomipotter

00:00 – Intro to Dr Karen Gurney

00:49 – What a clinical psychologist / psychosexologist actually does

05:06 – How we learned sex wrong: media myths & the standard script

07:21 – The 'three times a week' myth

09:58 – What we get wrong about desire

11:05 – “Sex drive” isn’t a thing: desire redefined

17:22 – Pain, pressure & routine as desire killers

18:48 – Does less sex harm relationships? What the data says

22:40 – The orgasm gap & why the script fails most women

31:18 – The keys to rebuilding desire in long-term relationships

32:34 – Building “sexual currency”: flirting, touch & zero pressure

36:16 – When attempts don’t lead to sex (and why that’s OK)

39:16 – How to start “the talk” without blame

42:23 – Intentional effort: the couples who keep desire alive

47:29 – New relationships in midlife: a chance to reset

49:56 – Lube & toys: why they’re not “cheats"

52:04 – Is culture improving?

53:41 – Listener Question: “I’m happy not having sex — is that OK?”

54:16 – Listener Question: Body confidence after menopause

1:00:01 – Final thoughts

#karengurney #naomipotter #relationshipadvice