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Holiday Boundaries & Protecting Your Peace

Holiday Boundaries & Protecting Your Peace

Update: 2025-12-23
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This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit stayorgo.substack.com

Two days before Christmas can feel especially heavy when you are quietly considering divorce. The holidays have a way of magnifying everything: the grief, the pressure to perform, the old family dynamics, and the fear of being asked questions you are not ready to answer.

In this episode, I pull you in close with warmth and honesty. I share a story I had forgotten until I found it in my journals: a Christmas with my in-laws when something deeply personal about my faith journey was shared before I was ready. What followed was a long, well intentioned but deeply dysregulating family conversation that left me feeling exposed, overwhelmed, and pushed into the familiar role so many of us know well: explaining, caretaking, and managing everyone else’s emotions.

That experience brings us to the core message of this episode: you do not owe anyone answers.

Not about your marriage. Not about your timeline. Not about the parts of you that are still tender and unfolding. It is not your job to make your life make sense to other people, especially during the holidays when old patterns of people pleasing and codependency are at their loudest.

We talk about how these patterns tend to show up this time of year: staying with family even when it makes you feel trapped, overcommitting to keep the peace, avoiding alone time, overexplaining, staying quiet to avoid conflict, and prioritizing everyone else’s comfort while your own nervous system is stretched thin.

I offer language you can use when conversations turn invasive, along with permission to let others feel uncomfortable without rushing to fix it. We also spend time on nervous system support and practical ways to protect your peace, from creating small pockets of solitude to rethinking logistics like where you stay, how you travel, and how long you remain at gatherings.

Most of all, this episode is a reminder that you matter during the holidays. Your peace matters. You are allowed to choose yourself, even imperfectly, even quietly, even when it disappoints others. You do not have to explain your way into being understood. You are allowed to protect what is sacred while you are still becoming.

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Holiday Boundaries & Protecting Your Peace

Holiday Boundaries & Protecting Your Peace

Britta Jo