If you’ve ever felt like buying a house is some mysterious, unattainable, "adultier adult" milestone... I get it. It took me ages to do it, and the process was like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded — while signing 37 forms.

Which is exactly why I dragged my real-life bestie and first-time homebuyer expert, Alli Moore, onto the pod today. (Dragged lovingly, obviously.)

Alli is here to walk us through WTF a loan officer actually does, how the home buying process works, and what you need to know if you’re self-employed and still want your white-picket-fence moment.

TOPICS & TANGENTS

— Why buying a house as a self-employed girly is not as scary as TikTok makes it sound

— The crucial thing you need to tell your accountant before you even start stalking Zillow

— Why your rent vibes do not translate to mortgage vibes

— How not to accidentally kill your pre-approval status while you're in limbo

— Our unhinged homebuying stories: bullying, bad math, and a Cape Cod side quest

POINT OF THE STORY

Find a house you can afford, live your life in, and not cry every time a bill shows up. That’s the dream.

ALLI LINKS

— Follow Alli on Instagram here and here

— Subscribe to her newsletter to for home-buying tips

— Alli’s walkout songs: song 1, song 2

BTL LINKS

— Use code "MILLIONAIRE" for $100 off my website copywriting course, Site Series Sprint.

— Join the Point of the Story community on Slack.

— Leave feedback or episode requests in our Suggestions Box.

— To stay up to date with all things Point of the Story, follow on Instagram and Substack.

— Follow me on Instagram, Threads, and Substack.

— Subscribe to my newsletters Tuesday Table of Contents for one marketing tip, once a week and Millionaire Moment for the insider tea on how I plan to make $1 mil in sales by my 31st birthday.

— Check out my website betweenthelinescopy.com.

OTHER LINKS

— Bookkeepers: Peach Perfect Financials, Madison Dearly, Coyne Bookkeeping

— Sara’s high-yield savings account

— Annual Credit Report website

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 Intro

00:26 Meet Allie, the First-Time Homebuyer Whisperer

03:26 Rapid-Fire Squirrel Brain Questions

18:27 What Even Is a Loan Officer?

22:42 Buying a House as a Self-Employed Squirrel

29:18 The Homebuying Process, Step-by-Step

41:01 Our Homebuying Stories

54:14 How Equity Works (and Why You Should Care)

57:55 Debt, Credit, and Other Capitalist Nonsense You Still Have to Deal With

01:05:46 Closing

This episode was edited by Adrienne Cruz.