How to Get Out of a Toxic Shame Spiral
Description
We all experience shame from time to time, but when it becomes toxic, we can end up in a shame spiral from which it's difficult to escape. When we’re called out on something about which we feel shameful, it can make us defensive. And so often, no-one can punish us as harshly as we punish ourselves.
In this quick dip episode, Rachel shares her strategy to break free from shame spirals and cultivate a healthier mindset; by sharing our shame, taking some perspective, and seeking support from others. She unpacks her SHAME model that was inspired by a recent spiral, which is a simple five-step framework for working through the sensations of shame and finding a way to be kinder to ourselves.
Shame doesn’t make us better people – it only makes us harder on ourselves and leads to us being defensive. So this episode offers a chance to break free of that spiral, remember that we’re human, and remind ourselves we’re doing our best.
Listen to this episode to
- Discover how shame can impact our internal mindset and contribute to burnout
- Learn about the complex nature of shame and how it shows up
- Explore strategies and techniques to break free from shame spirals and cultivate a healthier mindset
Episode highlights
- [00:02:09 ] What's on your pop bottle label?
- [00:03:14 ] When our actions clash with our values
- [00:07:30 ] What our ingrained stories tell us
- [00:13:20 ] Share your shame
- [00:14:35 ] Hang outwith useless friends
- [00:15:37 ] Awe
- [00:16:42 ] Multiple identities
- [00:19:17 ] Empathy and understanding
Resources
- THRIVE Weekly Planner
- Watch the video version on YouTube
- How Do You Say No When Someone Might Die? – Episode 193
- Why Can’t I Say No? – Episode 163
- How Perfectionism and Shame Lead to Stress and Burnout – 152 with Sandy Miles
- How to Avoid Becoming the Second Victim – Episode 92 with Dr Caraline Wright & Dr Lizzie Sweeting
- Tara Brach leads a Guided Meditation: The Practice of RAIN
- Download the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.
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Connect with Rachel
Have any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:
- LinkedIn: @Dr-Rachel-Morris
- Twitter: @DrRachelMorris
- Email: hello@youarenotafrog.com
Find out more about our training
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