If you've ever sought to change another, you know it's not as simple as having ONE conversation and expecting them to change. Progress and the process take a lot of time. Nature is of the highest order in the decision to change even one thing about yourself. In particular, when it comes to another person, self-acceptance will allow you to understand that their transformation need not be part of your struggle. If you want to change another person and think a conversation or scripted formula will do the trick, it won't...unless that person wants to change. 

And changing ain't easy for anyone, no matter what the wish or motives. 

Changing requires diligent effort and open communication. It's about recognizing negative habits, creating consequences for re-evaluation and re-training one's thinking through acknowlegement and ongoing effort. We train dogs by ringing bells, giving treats and petting. Humans need similar efforts of acknowlegement, yet we don't change from the simple desire for a treat. 

Our habits and conditioning are like sticky gum. Once it gets into the tread under the soles of your feet, it takes A LOT to get it out/off. Once you're out of childhood and your personality has been molded, change doesn't come easy--most of the time desire comes from pain or suffering. Even if pain and suffering are there, getting all that gum out will take time. 

Give time time and BE loving to yourself and others.