Nothing brand new this time around. We’ll watch a couple from last year, “I Don’t Understand You” and “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes” (2024). We’ll go way back for a thoughtful man-monster in “The Colossus of New York” (1958) and then do a serial killer film with “Found” (2012). Finally, we’ll wrap-up the original zombie trilogy with “Day of the Dead” (1985), which for some reason, we haven’t done before.

And, as always, we’ll have five short films.

* The latest issue of “Horror Monthly,” issue #47, is on sale now! Check out all the back issues, as well as our other books, with one easy link: https://horrormonthly.com

Mainstream Films:

2024 I Don’t Understand You

* Directed by: David Joseph Craig, Brian Crano

* Written by: David Joseph Craig, Brian Crano

* Stars: Nick Kroll, Andrew Rannells, Amanda Seyfried

* Run Time: 1 Hour 37 Minutes

* Trailer:

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

This is heavy on the comedy and light on the horror elements, with language barriers and misunderstandings leading to unfortunate outcomes. It’s not very scary, but it’s a lot of fun and we really enjoyed it.

Spoilery Synopsis

Dom and Cole are a gay couple recording a video about adoption. It’s essentially a video application for the mother to choose them. It’s a lot harder than it sounds. After, they pack up and go on a vacation to Rome as credits roll.

In Rome, the two go sightseeing. Dom is clearly obsessive, and Cole is well aware of it. They stop in to visit one of Dom’s father’s friends. They are given engraved knives as gifts - Cole’s is misspelled “Cool.” Cole doesn’t eat meat, which is weird in Rome. They talk about being scammed at one adoption attempt. The family friend, Daniele, has arranged a special dinner for them tomorrow night– and tells them to “Be careful.”

The two arrive at their hotel in the country. The man at the hotel gets flustered when two men come in together and spreads their beds apart not realizing they are a couple. He soon realizes the error of his ways. Candace, the potential baby-donor, calls them on Facetime. She likes their video and has chosen them to be the fathers of her child. They’re overjoyed.

They go to a farmhouse out in the countryside, an exclusive restaurant, where an old woman has promised to make them a special dinner. When the car gets stuck, it’s clear that this isn’t where they’re supposed to be. The truck who stops to help is the owner of the property, and he’s not happy. They ride along with the man, who stops to shoot a deer. He drops them off at… a place.

They knock on the door, and a strange old woman answers. She invites them in. Turns out, this is where they were supposed to go in the first place. They have pizza and wine. When they kiss, she throws a fit about the wine being bad, and they misunderstand why she’s angry because she only speaks Italian. Cole’s a vegetarian, but it’s only polite that he try the horsemeat sausage pizza.

The old woman goes into a long story about her son dying and her closing her restaurant. It’s been wonderful cooking for these two men, and she appreciates it. It’s all very nice, but they don’t have a clue what she’s saying. Dom reminds her of the dead son. Cole gets ill and has to puke, leaving Dom alone with the creepy woman. She offers him a clean, dry shirt.

Cole finds an old man in an iron lung machine and gets freaked out. Suddenly, the lights go out, and the old woman runs to the breathing machine. In the dark, Cole accidentally pushes the old woman down the stairs, killing her. Dom tries CPR and hears bones snap.

Someone drives up in a car. The man comes in and wants Dom’s car keys. He might be trying to tow the car. The power comes back on; should they call for help? The man comes back; he’s Massimo, and he’s rescued their car. He’s the old woman’s son, and he wonders where his mama is. He thanks them for cheering up his mother, who has been very depressed.

They boys run outside to the car and run into Francesca. They have to go back inside, and Massimo wonders why Dom is wearing his dead brother’s shirt and he insists they stay for a drink. Massimo sees messages from Candace on Dom’s phone and smiles “You’re going to be dead!” although he’s just mispronouncing “Dad.” Cole runs inside and stabs Massimo in the neck, thinking it’s self defense. As he falls to the floor, he sees his dead mother under the table.

Dom’s phone rings. It’s Candace, but they’re both covered in blood. They clean up fast. She’s going into labor, right now. Francesca stumbles in and sees Cole holding a knife over Massimo. She runs outside, and he chases her. Dom gets in the car and accidentally runs her over. “This has to be the last one,” Cole points out. At some point, Cole drops his bloody “Cool” engraved knife outside.

Cole notices the big pizza oven in the kitchen. Could they use that to dispose of the bodies? Suddenly, the old woman sits up and Cole kills her again. They burn the bodies and clean up the blood. They get into their car and drive away. As they argue about seat belts, they run over the angry neighbor from earlier.

In the morning, the police arrive at the house. The detectives got a call from the neighbor’s wife. They find the bones in the oven. The old man in the iron lung dies before telling them anything useful. They find a knife with the word “Cool” on it and proclaim they can trace that.

Dom and Cole get to the airport and rush through the process as the police close in behind them. They get stopped by the police; but it’s only because Cole left his passport behind.

Back in Pittsburgh, the guys stop at the hospital and visit Candace and the baby. They decide to name the baby Giovanni after the one character in Rome they didn’t kill.

Later, Dom and Cole record another video, trying to get another child. The application asks about how it went when they picked up their first child. Happy ending!

The police arrest Daniele for murdering the old woman and her whole family.

Brian’s Commentary

Gay tourists who don’t speak the local language. What could go wrong? Worst anniversary ever! It’s all a comedy of errors and miscommunications– a very bloody one. It’s no “Tucker and Dale Versus Evil” (2010), but it’s done along the same lines.

It’s pretty mild as far as the horror elements go, it’s much more of a comedy. It’s good though, and it all makes sense. I liked it!

Kevin’s Commentary

It was a good comedy, very well done, with just a little horror around the edges. Watching things go more and more off the rails, and how they do their damage control, was a lot of fun. I’d highly recommend this one

2024 Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

* Directed by: Wes Bell

* Written by: Josh Friedman, Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver

* Stars: Owen Teague, Freya Allan, Kevin Durand

* Run Time: 2 Hours, 25 Minutes

* Trailer:

Spoiler-Free Judgment Zone

Hundreds of years have passed since the last movie, and the apes can talk pretty well as well as sign. It has a little bit of a slow start spending time getting to know what the world is like now. Then things pick up for one ape in particular where it’s one thing after the other. This movie continues the story nicely, with effects on par with the previous movies. We both thought it was quite a good sequel.

Spoilery Synopsis

We get an on-screen text snippet that rehashes the first three films. Humans have lost their intellect and the ability to speak, and apes now rule the Earth. We open on Caesar’s funeral, just after the end of the previous film. Credits roll.

Many generations later… The world has gotten very green and all natural now. We watch a trio of apes stalking an eagle’s nest. Soona picks one of the eggs and Anaya takes the other. Noa goes without this time– but he finds another nest. That goes badly when the eagle returns. They intend to raise the birds.

When the trio get back to their horses, they notice a blanket is missing. It’s not an ape, and this scares them. They ride back to Ape Town and the children all want to see the eggs. Noa’s father, Koro, is the Master of Birds. Noa tells him and the elders about the “Echos” that may have come into the valley. They send Oda, a really big ape, to scare them away.

That night, Noa sees a human in the smokehouse, and his egg gets smashed. That’s really bad for the bonding ceremony tomorrow. He goes off in search of another egg. He finds Oda, who dies almost immediately; there are enemies coming. Sylva and Lightning, two apes from another clan, along with their masked army, ride toward Noa’s village. By the time Noa makes it home, his whole village is in flames.

Noa helps his father release all the birds before Sylva comes in. Sylva attacks both of them together, and Koro soon dies. Sylva yells, “For Caesar!”

By morning, there’s not much left of the burned village. Noa vows to save his captured people from Caesar. He rides his horse through the tunnel, into the “Forbidden” territory, which turns out to be an old, overgrown human city. The enemy apes definitely rode this way. Noa’s father’s big eagle, Sun, follows him.

He runs into an orangutan, Raka, who hates the apes in the masks, who killed his friend. Raka has books, an ancient way to store ideas, and he’s been working to understand. Raka explains who Caesar was, and the new ape who calls himself that. He talks about a time when apes and humans lived side by side, but not anymore. The original Ca