Inside the Mind of a Dominatrix: Power, Consent, and the Science of Desire
Description
In this episode of Seduction Tech, I sit down with Mistress Audry Lu Black, a professional dominatrix and educator with more than twenty-five years of experience in behavioral modification and long-term power exchange relationships.
This conversation goes far beyond whips and leather. Audry explains how consensual dominance and submission are built on communication, neuroscience, and trust. We explore the psychology of control, the biology of arousal, and how pain and pleasure share the same neural circuits that create addiction, release dopamine, and trigger mindfulness-like states.
Studies from the Journal of Sexual Medicine and Frontiers in Psychology have shown that people involved in BDSM often report lower stress, higher relationship satisfaction, and stronger emotional regulation than average. Mistress Audry explains why controlled intensity forces presence. In her words, “Subspace feels like meditation. The mind shuts up and the body finally speaks.”
We discuss how the BDSM community uses Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) as a model for ethics and why every couple, even so-called “vanilla” ones, can benefit from its structure of negotiation, aftercare, and awareness. She breaks down the difference between intimacy and intensity, why role-play is a powerful tool for connection, and how honest communication can revive a relationship that has lost its spark.
This is not a conversation about shock value. It is a masterclass on human behavior, self-knowledge, and emotional intelligence disguised as a discussion about sex.
Listen if you are curious about:
• How operant conditioning shapes attraction and pleasure
• Why submission can be a path to freedom
• How dopamine, cortisol, and adrenaline work together in arousal cycles
• The psychological parallels between kink and meditation
• What “aftercare” teaches us about empathy and presence
Mistress Audry Lu Black also shares practical advice for couples, solo explorers, and anyone wanting to understand power dynamics in love and life.
Connect with her on Substack and find her podcast Placemaker for Perversion for deeper discussions about desire, spirituality, and psychology.
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