Jules is well and truly up Eurovision Creek, but Gen is here to help her paddle. Exploring songs with their spiritual home in Eurovision (and the acts she didn’t know actually came from Eurovision in the first place), Jules and Gen then set off down the rapids of the judging process, juries, and what on earth The Big Five even is. From the highs of the 400 Club, and the lows of the single digit club, with a quick sidestep to Miriana’s kanty qualifier, today’s journey is enough to give you whiplash… but we reckon you can handle it.

Strap on your life jacket and get ready to be hit with Numa Numas, boxing crocodiles, sax machines and lazy Susans. And remember: wherever you are, you’re never more than 100m away from an 80s dance Smeagol. Always. Be. Prepared.

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