This episode of How This Works addresses adult subject matters and contains adult language.

This week, Skipper chats with Kait Scalisi, a certified sex educator who founded Passion by Kait. They engage in a wide-ranging conversation that explores so many areas — including shame, communication, and how pleasure is really powerful as a healing force.

And there's so much under the surface as well, like how some people carry their disabilities in plain sight, the concept of accessible design, how she started doing this work, how with sex there's no such thing as "normal", a lightweight formula around how to talk about sex with your partner, her delight in the concept of verbal consent is showing up in romance novels, consent culture and the underlying sentiment to act first, apologize later, #notallmen, Resmaa Menakem on the notion of somatic abolitionism, and assumptions that Kait has had to work against as a sex educator.

Stay tuned after the outro music for a pause for sirens in Kait's New York City sound background, an ever present aural reminder of the big city. Skipper misses it.

Special Guest: Kait Scalisi.

Links:

• How to start a conversation about sex
• How to have successful conversations about sex/fix failed ones
• Holistic sex education
• Nervous system support
• "Would I Lie to the Duke" by Eva Leigh — The romance novel that Kait mentions with a subby (read: submissive) duke
• "My Grandmother's Hands" by Resmaa Menakem
• Andy Polaine on imposter syndrome
• Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome
• Caveday
• Episode with Jake Kahana from Caveday
• Intro and outro song: "Zombie Nation" by Jose Travieso