In this episode of Marriage Unhindered, licensed marriage and family therapist Doug Hinderer takes a heartfelt look at what it really means to build – and rebuild – emotional connection in marriage. As Doug explains, emotional intimacy is the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. It’s what makes you feel seen, heard, and safe with your spouse. But for many couples, that connection fades over time. The good news? It can be restored with patience, intentionality, and daily effort.

Doug reminds you that when most couples fall in love, emotional connection happens naturally – through laughter, vulnerability, and trust. But once life’s stresses set in, that bond can weaken. Drawing on insights from the Gottman Institute, Doug outlines five essential elements that help couples strengthen their emotional connection and keep their love alive:

1. Trust

Trust is the foundation of every strong marriage. It means you can be open and honest without fear. Trust grows when you show up consistently for your spouse – not just when things are easy, but when life gets messy. When both partners feel emotionally safe, they can share their hearts freely and rely on each other as a “safe harbor” in life’s storms.

2. Respect

Respect means valuing your spouse’s individuality and treating them with kindness, even in disagreement. Doug notes that many marriages struggle because spouses try to change each other instead of appreciating their differences. Real respect allows you to say, “I see you, I hear you, and I value you – even when we don’t see eye to eye.” When couples honor each other in this way, emotional closeness naturally deepens.

3. Empathy

Empathy is about listening to understand, not to fix. It’s the skill of being attuned to what your spouse is feeling and validating their emotions. Phrases like, “I can understand why you’d feel that way” build emotional safety. Doug reminds you that empathy transforms conflict into connection – it turns tension into understanding and helps each spouse feel deeply known.

4. Communication

Good communication is about creating a rhythm of honest, caring dialogue. Doug suggests couples schedule regular “emotional check-ins” to ask questions like, “What have I done that’s hurt you lately?” or “What can I do to help you feel more loved?” Open, consistent communication builds trust and prevents resentment from taking root.

5. Friendship

Finally, friendship is what makes marriage joyful and lasting. Strong couples laugh together, share experiences, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Doug encourages spouses to make time for play, adventure, and small daily moments of connection – like catching each other’s eye across a crowded room or sharing an inside joke. Friendship keeps love light, resilient, and deeply rooted in affection.

By nurturing these five pillars – trust, respect, empathy, communication, and friendship –couples can strengthen their bond and rediscover the joy of being truly connected. Emotional intimacy doesn’t just make a marriage survive; it makes it thrive.

The best way to listen to the Best of the Week is on our #1 Free Catholic App. It’s free and always will be! To get and share the Relevant Radio app, check it out here.