LOVE & TRAUMA - How To Cope With Overwhelming Anguish & How It Affects Relationships
Description
IN THIS EPISODE we dive in to the deep dark waters of experiencing trauma.
We break down the many ways trauma can affect not only our own lives, but the lives of those around us, and our most important relationships.
We share methods and resources for working through different kinds of trauma.
& We share some modern techniques & treatments, some of which might surprise you.
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#traumahealing #lovetips #relationhips #couplestherapy #couples
Some links & references for ya:
Books (click on the affiliate links below to buy from Amazon and help our channel at no extra cost to you!):
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=sr_1_1?crid=259CKICJ3L8J4&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1647293987&s=books&sprefix=body+keeps%252Cstripbooks%252C363&sr=1-1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=howtolovefore-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=a74405be115787b82e9c7a4cdcf2e633&camp=1789&creative=9325
Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - Dr. Brené Brown: https://www.amazon.com/Atlas-Heart-Meaningful-Connection-Experience/dp/0399592555/ref=pd_sbs_28/141-3629085-5543902?pd_rd_w=hrLr9&pf_rd_p=dfec2022-428d-4b18-a6d4-8f791333a139&pf_rd_r=AFR3TRBBHDEGHP97ZTWW&pd_rd_r=a89aec35-6cc8-4e4a-ab1c-94922872b219&pd_rd_wg=cNfTD&pd_rd_i=0399592555&psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=howtolovefore-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=a2a8d31ad0582e5c531baacc099123d7&camp=1789&creative=9325
Healing Secondary Trauma: Proven Strategies for Caregivers and Professionals to Manage Stress, Anxiety, and Compassion Fatigue - Trudy Gilbert-Eliot, PhD: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1641527560/ref=sspa_dk_detail_2?psc=1&pd_rd_i=1641527560&pd_rd_w=a2JRz&pf_rd_p=0c758152-61cd-452f-97a6-17f070f654b8&pd_rd_wg=rK04Q&pf_rd_r=MMH5MJVGWPFDWVC01B8C&pd_rd_r=a31e2223-d5b7-4356-8a1c-201a35f8349b&s=books&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzUFAzRkdWSE05TVk4JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTM5NzQwM081QVA5S0Q5QU9BUSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDE0NzMyMVA4RldVQjRHTkdWSCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2RldGFpbCZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=&_encoding=UTF8&tag=howtolovefore-20&linkCode=ur2&linkId=4fbaa8b3612119b268a6535a59d52666&camp=1789&creative=9325
Links
"The Love After War" screening at CSU:
https://facebook.com/events/s/alvs-presents-love-after-war-s/3258654744357885/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-etY_-8ZIUw
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/coping-secondary-trauma-loved-ones-guide-0605137
“I’m just so lucky to walk through this hell with her”. Tommy Vietor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glb2LEFHX_A&list=PLOOwEPgFWm_NHcQd9aCi5JXWASHO_n5uR&index=4
https://peaceaftertrauma.com/about-carolyn/
References
Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (US). Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2014. (Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP) Series, No. 57.) Chapter 3, Understanding the Impact of Trauma.
Millán K. “Signs and Symptoms of PTSD”. Black Bear Lodge. Black Bear Rehab. N.d.
Nielsen B. “How Unhealed Trauma Affects Highly Sensitive People”. Highly Sensitive Refuge. 10 February 2020. “Past trauma may haunt your future health”. Harvard Women’s Health Watch. Harvard Health Publishing: Harvard Medical School. February 2019.
Yoder C. “Unaddressed trauma & how it impacts us”. Peace After Trauma. 2018.
Effective psychotherapy is good for trauma patients, not to fix people, to paraphrase Dr Van Dr Kolk, but to be able to acknowledge the terrible scary things that happened and to find ways the patient can fix themselves.
About Bessel van der Kolk:
Bessel van der Kolk is a psychiatrist noted for his research in the area of post-traumatic stress since the 1970s. His work focuses on the interaction of attachment, neurobiology, and developmental aspects of trauma’s effects on people. His major publication, Traumatic Stress: The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body, and Society, talks about how the role of trauma in psychiatric illness has changed over the past 20 years.
Dr. van der Kolk is past President of the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, Professor of Psychiatry at Boston University Medical School, and Medical Director of the Trauma Center at JRI in Brookline, Massachusetts. He has taught at universities and hospitals across the United States and around the world, including Europe, Africa, Russia, Australia, Israel, and China.
Check out Bessel van der Kolk's latest book, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” at https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Sco...
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What is trauma?
First, comes tragedy, right out of the blue, walloping our hearts, minds & bodies, sending our lives reeling with typically no warning. It could be a terrible car accident, or something that hits us square in the emotions, like being subjected to or even just witnessing cruelties. When we are victims of tragedy, trauma ensues. To be more specific, trauma can be defined as a response that results from exposure to an incident or a series of events that are so emotionally disturbing or perceived to be so life-threatening that it has lasting effects on one’s mental, physical, social, emotional, and/or spiritual balance.
In other words, something happens that threatens the very fabric of our lives, and we then get to deal with the very understandable emotional fall-out, potentially for the rest of our lives.
We know this is heavy stuff, but considering that over 2/3 of our population has experienced a traumatic event at one point in their lives, and over 8 million people in the US alone suffer from PTSD, we feel the need to talk about it.
And not just talk about what it is and how it can affect us, but also to share some techniques and strategies for dealing with trauma that have been scientifically researched and proven to be effective.
We have to remind our listeners that we are not therapists, we are not licensed health professionals in any sense. We are just two more people who have survived traumas, had some pretty intense life experiences and are fortunate to be alive and well enough to speak of it. We speak of it from personal experience not from clinical expertise, and we urge you to not take anything we say in this podcast as legal or medical advice, but rather as personal observations.
Sharing is the first step to healing, but if you or a loved one are suffering the effects of trauma, we strongly encourage you to seek out real qualified help, from a professional who will understand your needs and provide you with the tools & guidance to work on healing all of those unseen wounds.
And if this episode gives you a better idea of what it is you’re going through and why, and that there is hope for healing with an array of techn
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