There is a Teaching idea that would be very worthwhile to make a note of and to observe for a while. This idea is: That only as I the observer sees some idea of the self, of John or Mary, as an illusion, is it free of the tendency to identify with that idea. One may see a given idea now and then or something that a Not-I is doing and not agree with it at that moment but really doesn’t see that the idea is an illusion. And as we have said, to see an illusion for what it is, is to see the truth and that X operates upon that truth. Once I recognize that a given idea in the self, a conditioned idea, is an illusion, there is no longer any tendency to identify with that idea.

Now to start today, let’s look at some of the ideas that we have of unpleasant emotions. We have an idea that one cannot prevent having an unpleasant emotion, that one must have these ideas, that people cause us to have these ideas of anger, fear, guilt, resentment, boredom, apathy of what’s the use it’s all in vain, jealousy, envy and a number of others. All of these are very unpleasant emotions. Now the Teaching says that one has a right NOT to identify with unpleasant emotions. As we’ve said, a right was something no one can take away from you, and no one can take away from any of us the right not to identify with unpleasant emotions. The self may have them but I, the observer, does not need to identify with them and nobody can make us. So that is one thing that no one can take away from us.

As we observe this we see that unpleasant emotions do arise in the self and that unpleasant emotions bring about, of course, when they are identified with, a terrific change in the body chemistry. One does become addicted to these various charges that give one a feeling of energy or strength or other things. Self- pity is one of the more common unpleasant emotions. Self-pity gives the person a sense of self-love — “I am so wonderful, so nice and no one is treating me right.” So one cuddles the self when one identifies with the idea of self-pity. Now as we begin to see by observing the self, I, the observer, observing the self, sees all of this is an illusion. That it does not bring about more consciousness, that it does not put one in a higher state of being but actually takes one to a much lower state of being, down to apathy, fear, self-pity, to the lowest levels of being, down to a hypnotic state. They offer, of course, from early infancy, that all of these are wonderful things and that one cannot prevent them. The infant controls grownups with unpleasant emotions. The baby cries “pitiful,” someone picks it up. It cries “angry,” someone pays attention to it. It cries “hurt” and everybody runs. So the self started very early to value unpleasant emotions.

Now as I observe the unpleasant emotions we will observe what the self is tying to gain with this unpleasant emotion. Let’s start with anger. When I, the observer, observes the self being angry, let’s see the motive with the anger, what it intends to accomplish. It is not something that can’t be helped; it is that this is the way to get people to get in line. It is an effort to control and one gains that sense of importance, a sense of being able to control people.

Now let’s observe self-pity, being pitiful. Does it not also control people? Being a martyr, “I’ve pleased everybody and nobody has appreciated it. I’ve worked my fingers to the bone and nobody pays any attention to me,” is a cry for attention is it not, and does it usually work? At least the self is paying attention for self. One Not-I is feeling sorry for the whole state of the other Not-l’s and a whole crowd is all involved and one is in a very unpleasant state; one might say one is in the slums of one’s inner world, and all in an attempt to control.

Now much of this starts with greed. One has a certain amount of pleasure, comfort, attention, approval and ability to control others, especially if they are smaller or younger or one is the boss. Then that’s not enough. Greed says there should be more. It begins to put up pictures. It begins to offer suggestions: “Well after all, at that time they didn’t appreciate it, here I gave all the employees a Christmas bonus and not one of them has come around and really said thank you for it. I bought the family a new station wagon and all they want is more money to drive it. I fixed his dinner every night when he came in, but he really has never appreciated what I do for him.” So greed with its basis of the four dual basic urges and always wanting more, better and different for any amount that it gets begins to be the great suggestor. So one of the more unpleasant emotions that is seldom observed until it is brought very definitely to one’s attention is to observe the urge for more, better and different.

So our first practical thing to records on this week, we’re going to write down when self wants more, better and different. We’re going to observe the self offering suggestions that one should have more, better and different. We will write down, self says it should have more attention, it should have more appreciation, it should have more approval. We’ll hear things coming up out of the self trying to suggest to I that “All he is interested in is his business or profession and he really hasn’t given me any attention, hardly at all, so little that we may as well forget it.” So the next statement is, “He has given none at all, he’s totally interested in his business or profession. That’s what he really loves. He doesn’t care a thing about me.” Visa-versa, “She doesn’t care anything about me. All she wants is the money I bring home. As long as I bring her lots of money she’s all right, but she’s always hollering for more.” So one observes greed. We will write down all the times that we see the self, John or Mary, wanting more, better and different. We will write down how it wants more. We will see then, possibly, that this is an illusion. When one sees an idea of the self as an illusion it no longer has the power to suggest identity or to suggest that one identify with it. One is freed of the urge to identify with this Not-I because one sees it as an illusion. Now as we observe greed and its many ways of functioning, of course, vanity says, “I don’t have greed, I only try to have what is essential and I look after everybody else.” We will observe carefully to see greed. Then we will see vanity. We’re going to write all three of these down, vanity, pride, and starting with greed, which is the parent of vanity and pride.

Now vanity paints a very composite picture that’s only allowed to the surface of, “What a wonderful person I am. I’m better than other people; I can see where they go wrong. I can see where they have faults. Of course I can recognize that I have a fault or two but they are all caused by circumstances. Other people make me angry. Sure I get angry but it’s due to other people’s misbehavior.” In other words, “My anger is really righteous indignation but other people are just plain short-tempered, they have short fuses.” So we paint a very beautiful composite picture of self which is called vanity, of “the ability to judge others, the ability to see how I am better than others, the ability to see where others have shortcomings that I wouldn’t stoop to, to see how I’ve always tried to do the right thing against great odds, of course.” So we will paint this picture. This is enough to give you a start. Each of us must discover for self what one’s false picture of self really is.

Then pride is the defense of that false picture. We will write down all the times that we feel on the defensive. Now there is really only one thing to defend unless one has a gun or a knife after you and I am quite sure that is very infrequent, if at all. In order to expand this picture a bit, let’s go back and think of all the times that can be recalled that one has been on the defensive for the past several months. Now we are eliminating the times one was threatened with a gun, a knife, or a madman or physical violence of any sort. We’re talking about when we were on the defense of psychological motives, of our opinion of self. Someone comes in and says, “You’re forgetful.” Of course, here comes the defense. Someone says, “You’re always late.” Here comes the defense of all the things I had to do, “and the car wouldn’t start” or a hundred and one things to defend the fact of being late. “It’s not really I that was late, it was other things that forced me. Circumstances made me late if I was really late, but I was only late once or twice this whole year and they said I was late every time,” and many more of the same general idea.

We are going to keep records of greed, vanity and pride. We’re not trying to change them; we’re not having some self-improving Not-I say we’ve got to get over this. We are looking at the propositions produced by greed, by vanity and by pride. This is all the work of the four dual basic urges, the master called mammon, the one which the self serves, the one which when I was identified with the self because it did not see it as an illusion, was identified in serving. Now I, the observer, sees something as an illusion, reports that to X and henceforth I is no longer tempted to identify with that idea of the self that it has seen as an illusion. So we hope that by making very complete observations and recording them so they can be read and reviewed, by writing them down, that we begin to see the ramifications of the four dual basic urges as expressed in greed, vanity and pride. If one should see clearly the illusion of the four dual basic urges one would cease to identify with it and all the others associated on and based upon the four dual basic urges and its work of greed, v