TRIGGER WARNING: This podcast series discusses topics that may be distressing to some listeners, including domestic violence, physical and sexual abuse, and emotional trauma. It includes real-life accounts from survivors that may be distressing. If you or someone you know is affected by these issues, please prioritise your well-being and consider listening to a different episode or proceed with caution. If you feel overwhelmed at any point, it's okay to take a break or seek support.

In this episode, I speak with Elyse Nauta, who has supported DV families across both metro and regional areas, and is a mum to a neurodivergent daughter. Elyse shares her professional knowledge from working in child protection for over 15 years to talk about the tough, often hidden reality of life after leaving an abusive relationship:

• Leaving Isn’t Always the End: Even after women find the courage to leave, some abusers still find ways to control from afar, especially through kids or by twisting legal systems in a tactic called systems abuse. Elyse helps us understand what that looks like in real life.
• The Power of a Good Support System: From Elyse’s experience, having just one trusted friend or family member to lean on can make a world of difference. We talk about why support can be the key to helping women rebuild their confidence and sense of security.
• Financial and Legal Hurdles: Family Court and co-parenting come with their own challenges, especially when the ex has more financial control. Elyse shares insights on why this can feel like an uphill battle for many women.
• Raising Boys with Better Tools: We dive into why teaching boys healthier ways to handle emotions matters. Elyse believes that showing them what positive relationships look like can help create a safer future for everyone.

Let’s be real: we can’t change or cover everything in one podcast series. But what we can do is start the conversation. If this episode helps even one person recognise the signs of abuse or points them toward safety, it’s worth it. It’s not about perfection, it’s about offering hope and shedding light on what’s often kept in the dark.

Important Links:

Dr. Billy Garvey - From Boyz II Men: Listen to Dr. Billy Garvey talk about the importance of guiding boys toward positive masculinity on The Imperfects Podcast: Billy Garvey - From Boyz II Men

Support and Help Lines:

If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, reaching out to professionals can be life-changing. I don't want to create resources on a website with no 'quick exit' function. A quick exit function on domestic violence (DV) websites is designed to protect individuals who may be in immediate danger while seeking help or information online. Many victims of DV are closely monitored by their abusers, including their online activities. The quick exit button allows users to leave the website instantly and redirects them to a neutral site, like a search engine, with one click.

- 1800RESPECT: A national sexual assault, domestic, and family violence counselling service. Confidential and available 24/7. Call: 1800 737 732. Visit the Website

- Relationships Australia: Offers counselling, mediation, and support services. Call: 1300 364 277

- Men’s Referral Service: Support for men using family violence, offering confidential counselling and resources. Call: 1300 766 491

- Family Relationship Advice Line: Offers information and support for family separation, parenting arrangements, and more. Call: 1800 050 321

- Women’s Health Centres: Specialised support for women affected by domestic violence, including counselling and medical services. Contact your local centre.

- In Immediate Danger: Call: Triple Zero (000)

- Legal Aid Australia: Provides legal services and support for those experiencing domestic violence. Each state has its own Legal Aid office.  Contact your local centre.

- Family Court of Australia: Offers resources on family law, protection orders, and information on navigating the court system for those affected by family violence. Visit: familycourt.gov.au

Legal Protection Orders

If you need protection, apply for legal orders such as Apprehended Domestic Violence Orders (ADVOs) or similar orders in your state or territory.

Tech Safety Tips

For technology-related abuse, contact WESNET or visit the eSafety Commissioner for guidance on how to protect yourself from tech-facilitated abuse.

Reference:

What is Coercive Control? (Relationships Victoria link)

Signs of Coercive Control in a relationship and what to do next.

Myths about Family Violence

Stay strong, stay informed, and remember - you are not alone. We see you, and we’re here to help.

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