Domestic Violence is one of those topics that’s so much more complicated than it seems from the outside. This week, I sat down with Elyse Nauta for a second time, and as always, she brought incredible insight. Elyse has 15 years of experience in child protection, working everywhere from metro areas to remote regions like the Kimberleys. We explored the big question: why don’t women just leave? Spoiler: it’s not as simple as it sounds.

Key topics covered:

• The Complexity of Staying
• The Subtle Grip of Coercive Control
• The Cycle That Keeps Victims Hoping
• Understanding Why Perpetrators Act
• Barriers That Make Leaving So Hard
• How We Can Help

Elyse paints a vivid picture of what life can look like for women caught in these situations. Her insights remind us that understanding the ‘why’ behind someone staying in an abusive relationship is key to offering real support.

TRIGGER WARNING: This podcast series discusses topics that may be distressing to some listeners, including child abuse, physical and sexual abuse, and emotional trauma. If you or someone you know is affected by these issues, please prioritise your well-being and consider listening to a different episode or proceed with caution. If you feel overwhelmed at any point, it's okay to take a break or seek support.

Let’s be real - we can’t change or cover everything in one podcast series. But what we can do is start the conversation. If this episode helps even one person recognise the signs of abuse or points them toward safety, it’s worth it. It’s not about perfection, it’s about offering hope and shedding light on what’s often kept in the dark.

Statistics Referenced

Who are the Perpetrators? Why am I using the term men? The Australian data shows that 75% of domestic violence perpetrators are men: Perpetrator Statistics

Support and Help Lines

If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, reaching out to professionals can be life-changing. I don't want to create resources on a website with no 'quick exit' function. A quick exit function on domestic violence (DV) websites is designed to protect individuals who may be in immediate danger while seeking help or information online. Many victims of DV are closely monitored by their abusers, including their online activities. The quick exit button allows users to leave the website instantly and redirects them to a neutral site, like a search engine, with one click.

- 1800RESPECT: A national sexual assault, domestic, and family violence counselling service. Confidential and available 24/7. Call: 1800 737 732. Visit the Website

- Relationships Australia: Offers counselling, mediation, and support services. Call: 1300 364 277

- Men’s Referral Service: Support for men using family violence, offering confidential counselling and resources. Call: 1300 766 491

- Family Relationship Advice Line: Offers information and support for family separation, parenting arrangements, and more. Call: 1800 050 321

- Women’s Health Centres: Specialised support for women affected by domestic violence, including counselling and medical services. Contact your local centre.

- In Immediate Danger: Call: Triple Zero (000)

- Legal Aid Australia: Provides legal services and support for those experiencing domestic violence. Each state has its own Legal Aid office.  Contact your local centre.

- Family Court of Australia: Offers resources on family law, protection orders, and information on navigating the court system for those affected by family violence. Visit: familycourt.gov.au

Legal Protection Orders

If you need protection, apply for legal orders such as Apprehended Domestic Violence Orders (ADVOs) or similar orders in your state or territory.

Tech Safety Tips

For technology-related abuse, contact WESNET or visit the eSafety Commissioner for guidance on how to protect yourself from tech-facilitated abuse.

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