Relating to God as Father: Understanding God’s Love When Earthly Fathers Fail

Update: 2025-06-12

Description

Episode Summary:

If you’ve ever struggled with relating to God as Father—maybe you’ve been hurt by an earthly father or a church leader and carry a misunderstanding of God’s heart for you-- then this episode is for you. Rev. Jessica Van Roekel and I talk about Relating to God as Father and Understanding God’s Love When Earthly Fathers Fail.

Relating to God as Father is vital for a proper understanding and close relationship with the Lord. We can lose sight of who God is when we forget that he is not like us. We are made in his image, not the other way around. Fatherhood is an important aspect of God’s character and when we can relate to God as father it can transform our life.

Quotables from the episode:

Knowing God as my Father has brought so much comfort to my life. I know many of our listeners and viewers carry deep wounds, and my prayer is that today’s conversation will bring encouragement and hope.
Relating to God as Father is essential to experience his comfort and blessings of being his sons and daughters. He gives us mercy, love, forgiveness, compassion, faithfulness, and goodness. When we reject God’s fatherhood, we struggle to experience the comfort he offers to us.
Earthly fathers are an imperfect and flawed example, but God is a perfect Father. He always has the best intentions for his children, and he always has the ability to carry them out. Jesus taught that “Father” was the way to address God. “Father” was Jesus’ favorite term for addressing God. In the synoptic Gospels, we count Jesus referencing God as Father approximately sixty-five times and in the book of John, we see it over one hundred times.
Because of Jesus’ use of this metaphor, the rest of the New Testament emphasizes the Fatherhood of God. In Paul’s letters, God is described as “Father” over forty times. For Paul, God’s fatherhood is based on the redemption and reconciliation he has made available to everyone through faith in Jesus Christ.
There are a lot of misconceptions about the Fatherhood of God that can keep people from relating to him as Father. Let’s take a moment to address some of them. One of the biggest challenges is being hurt by people—fathers or father figures.
One of the reasons is we are such sensory beings. We feel so deeply the wounds of betrayal and if we compare God to mankind, there’s no way we could trust him with our heart. But humanity is made in the image of God, not God in humanity’s image.
We are a reflection of parts of God. But then sin entered the world and shattered the reflection. It’s like we all have a shattered mirror in our chest, and we can’t see other people clearly or ourselves clearly. This skewed vision impacts how we see God. But his “mirror’ is intact. He is the perfect reflection of a perfect Father because he is our Father.
Ephesians 1:5 comforts us, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”
Another challenge to relating to God as Father is when we misunderstand his discipline. But discipline is an important part of growing and living for him. It not only rebukes and corrects, but it also trains us and guides us.
Discipline assures us we are God’s children; Discipline is evidence he loves us and has concern for us to not be condemned by the world, but so we can share in his holiness.
It sounds like there are three responses to relating to God as Father through discipline. One response is to shrug it off where we refuse to take it seriously or despise it. The other is to be over-sensitive and withdraw emotionally. These two will cause us to reject God as father. But the one who receives God’s discipline as an act of love will draw closer to God’s Father heart for us.
I think it starts with trusting God. God delights in protecting the weak, disadvantaged, oppressed, hurting, and lonely—especially when we trust him. If you feel alone in the world, you can ask God, as your Father in heaven, to put you under his special care.
And sometimes, we need to consider how deep our honor and respect for his power, judgment, and intolerance of evil. When we cultivate a deep honor and respect for him, God liberates and motivates us to avoid evil, obey God’s word, and to live with a continual awareness of God’s mercy and nearness. To those who revere him, he gives mercy, love, forgiveness, fatherly compassion, faithfulness, and goodness.
The final step we want to share today is to ask the Holy Spirit to create the feeling of filial love that causes us to know God as Father. I love Galatians 4:6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’”
Because we are now God’s children, we have a new “guardian.” We can be free from religious rules or the devastating impact of human failures. Abba is Aramaic for Father and expresses the depth of intimacy, warmth, and confidence by which the Holy Spirit helps us relate to and cry out to God as Father. When we refer to and relate to God as Father, we demonstrate the transforming work of the Holy Spirit in our life.
Relating to God as Father has nothing to do with how poorly you’ve been treated but has everything to do with placing your entire trust in God’s love for you. You have the freedom and the right to approach our heavenly Father with the confidence that you will be accepted, welcomed, and loved.

Scripture References:

Ephesians 1:5 comforts us, “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”
Hebrews 12:6-10 states, “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. It is for discipline that you must endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
Psalm 68:5-6 reminds us, “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation. God settles the solitary in a home; he leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious dwell in a parched land.”
Psalm 103:13 teaches us, “as a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.”
Galatians 4:6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba! Father!’”