DiscoverBeing Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick HansonRepairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships
Repairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships

Repairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships

Update: 2024-03-11
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On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00 : Introduction 

2:00 : Common features of self-abandonment

12:30 : Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen

16:05 : Facing shame and self-criticism

21:00 : Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others

33:10 : The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity

40:55 : Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense

50:55 : Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness

55:20 : Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs

58:50 : Recap

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there. 

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Repairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships

Repairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson